Somebody Tell A Joke...

[Alec]

Crappy, huh?

[TomNuttall]

A man is walking along an old country road and stops when he sees a farmer in an apple orchard. He gets a little closer and sees the farmer throwing apples down to a three legged pig.
The man came closer and asked the farmer ''Wow, thats some pig ya got there. Why does he have only three legs?''
The farmer answered ''Well, This pig saved me and my wife from a terrible fire. A lantern in our barn fell over and ignited the hay in the loft. The pig ran out from the barn, got into the house and woke me and my wife just in time.''
The man looked at the farmer and said ''Well, thats a real special pig, but you never told me how he lost his leg.''
The farmer answered ''Well, as I said this is a real special pig and with a pig this special, you can't eat it all at once!''

--------------------

A little boy had a dog named Laddy. Billy and Laddy were the best of friends. Laddy would follow him to school and wait at the front gate of the house for Billy to come home.
One day, Billy came home and walked in to find his mom at the kitchen table.
''Billy,'' she said, '' I have something to tell you. Laddy got hit by a car and he died.''
Billy just looked at her and said ''Oh.'' He went up the stairs and came down a few moments later.
''Where's Laddy mom?'' He asked.
”I just told you,'' said Billy's mom, ''Laddy got hit by a car.''
Billy burst into tears and said ''Laddy, I thought you said Daddy!''



Tom

[LvR]

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk
pulling a wagon and dragging a flattened frog on a string behind it, when
he comes up to the doorstep of a whore house.
He knocked on the door, and the madam came to answer it, saw him and asked
what he wanted. He said he wanted what she was selling inside, and the
money to buy it, and wasn't leaving until he got it. She thought she
would have some fun with him, so she told him to come in. Once he got in,
she told him to pick on of the girls he liked; he asked her if any of the
girls had any diseases, and of course the madam said no. He had heard all
the men talking about having to go to the hospital and get shots after
making love with Mabel, and that was the girl he wanted, and that he had
the money to pay for it. The madam told him to go upstairs and go to the
first room on the right.
So he headed down the hall dragging the frog behind him. Ten minutes
later he came back down still dragging the frog. he paid the madam, and
picked up his wagon and headed out the door, at which time the madam
stopped him and asked him just why he picked the only girl she had in the
place with a disease, instead of one of the others. He said: "Well, if
you must know.... tonight my mother and father are going out to a
restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a babysitter. When they leave,
I am going to make love to the babysitter, and give her the disease I just
caught. When mom and dod get home, dad will take the babysitter home, and
on the way, he will make love to her, and he will catch it. When dad gets
home, he and mom will go to bed, and they will make love, and mom will
catch it. In the morning when dad goes to work, the milkman will deliver
the milk, and he will make love to mom, and he will catch it, and HE's the
son-of-a-bitch that ran over my FROG