Getting older..

[DGhost]

Originally posted by Sasq
Sunsets good, fine wine good. Watching a good sunset with a bottle of good wine and good friends better.

true that.

[omegaRED]

Well, one of my moments, the strongest one, was when, 2 months ago, my uncle, to whom i always looked up to, growing without a father which i never really knew (i met him, talked to him a couple of times, but to me, after all these years, he`s just another stranger on the street), was diagnosed with a brain tumor, the worst kind (Glioblastome Multiforma 4). It was a real shock to the whole family. But, due to the despicable behaviour of his wife, it was decided that I should accompany my uncle to Germany to get operated. He was not the same man, not the idol and the know-it-all-do-it-all person i revered, he was completely changed. Nevertheless, i never hesitated, inspite the fact that i had to get a new passport in 2 days, german visas in 3 days, airplane tickets in 1 day...

I went with him, scared to death because i didnt know whether he`d survive the flight, spent 14 days with him, my aunt and my cousine in the hospital, when he cried, was unable to put together a normal sentence, was aggressive and smashed his hospital room... When, when the train on our way back was late and we missed the train to Belgrade we were stranded on the railway station in Munich, not knowing what to do, whether to wait 8 hours for a train and then travel 24 hours, or get a plane 5 hours later, but he might not survive the flight...

I wasnt completely aware of the sh!t we went thru untill 2-3 weeks later, and now, slowly, i realize the huge responsibility i took onto my shoulders, and i feel grown up...

The treatment continues, but i`m staying aside a bit and contemplate what we went thru, and how to continue now...

Those 2-3 weeks before, during and after our stay in Germany changed me. For the better.

[Jessterw]

Maturity is entirely relative to one's own life and can widely vary between the different parts of one's character.

Some of us are forced to mature at a very young age, only to find that we missed out on life experiences that would have aided in our maturing in others ways than how we did. Nevermind that maturity itself is hard to quantify.

That said, I'm glad to see you've progressed in your perspective on life Liz. I've found that as we grow older and mature we come to appreciate things we didn't before; however, caution needs to be had that we don't let slip away the things that we held dear beforehand.

[The Rock]

Its funny how the worst moments in our lives tend to bring out the mature person in all of us. Mine was receiving a phone call from a friends mom. This friend, in a complete shock to all of us, had hung himself. I remember his mom calling me up and wailing "he's gone, my little boy is gone". I aged 10 years in 10 seconds. Afterwards, I helped with the funeral preparations, as well as trying to "be there" for the family, and for the rest of our circle of friends (this guy was immensely popular and was very highly thought of, even though the poor bastard never knew it). Tough thing to do at 18. If your lucky enough to mature at your own pace, consider yourself fortunate. For a few of us in this thread, it seems maturity gets forced on you through suffering of a hellish magnitude.

Either way, its all good in the end. You grow as a person, learn to appreciate the little things that most people take for granted, etc. Sometimes its a hard lesson to learn, but in the end the lesson is a worthy one.

[Duty]

I remember the moment.

Sitting at the end of the wadi al batin waiting for the republican guard (2 divisions) to come for tea. Maturity can come quickly.


Jeff

[KRSESQ]

@Sasq:
Okay. Rugrats it is.

My dad died when I was 17. I remember feeling great relief, because he was an alcoholic and our relationship was not great by any means, although I remember one incident when he helped me drag a car engine I had built out of the basement. In retrospect he probably couldn't have died at a worse time in my life. My mom felt it too, but hid it better.

And now my mom has taken residence in a nursing home because she needs fairly constant care. She feels safe there, but she doesn't really like it much because she used to be such an independent woman. Thats made me stop and think for awhile.

So yeah, I guess I have grown up a bit after all. I still like climbing trees.

Getting any answers yet, Liz?

Kevin

[Dr Mordrid]

I grew up very early.

First of all I grew up on a farm and had to take on responsibilities most 12-13 year olds would never think of....including driving 2.5 and 4 ton trucks full of produce etc. to market. Back then farm kids could get a drivers license to do such duties.

Next came the death in Vietnam of one of my best friends and high school locker mate. Yup....10 years in 10 seconds.

Then I graduated from high school early (promoted) and had my BS degree by age 20. By age 23 I was a department head whose areas of responsibility included the special procedure departments (angiography, ultrasound and radiation thearapy). A couple of years later CT was added to the mix.

Talk about responsibility overload.

Dr. Mordrid

[KvHagedorn]

Reading these responses, it seems like the answer is what I thought it would be. Taking responsibility for another member of the family: parent, uncle, child. I am constantly reminded of the great wisdom uttered by one of the mother characters in a movie called The Joy Luck Club.. something about passing one's hopes on to one's children. When you have children and your hopes are no longer for yourself, but for them.. then you have grown up.

[KRSESQ]

Oddly enough, I know when a good friend of mine STOPPED growing up. He was ten when the brother he idolized was killed in Vietnam. He still remembers seeing the black army sedan pulling up to his house and the officer coming up the walk to deliver the news to his mom. He remembers realizing even at that age that something was horribly wrong.

His brother was a party animal and introduced Steve to the scene at an early age. After Don was killed, Steve felt compelled to "carry on the tradition." Steve is more than two years younger than I and I wonder that he's still alive. He looks 70.

Even more oddly, despite his wastedness and several liver and ulcer and pneumonia-related hospital stays, Steve continues to struggle to be a good father to his four-year-old son. One thing about him is certain. He never fails to surprise. He may outlive us all.

Kevin

[DGhost]

Originally posted by KvHagedorn
Reading these responses, it seems like the answer is what I thought it would be. Taking responsibility for another member of the family: parent, uncle, child. I am constantly reminded of the great wisdom uttered by one of the mother characters in a movie called The Joy Luck Club.. something about passing one's hopes on to one's children. When you have children and your hopes are no longer for yourself, but for them.. then you have grown up.

I think it is perhaps more having to take up the responsibilities on your own, regardless of if they died or not.

you mature because you step outside of the role you normally fill and strech yourself to deal with situations that you would normally not deal with. sometimes this is because someone dies. sometimes it is for other reasons.

[DukeP]

I dont think I have really grown up yet.

When I look back, theres no decisive moment, no place to that goes: there.

Of course Ive had my moments of sad tragedy and my areas of resposibility.

But in reality, I dont think I will feel really grown up before I become a father.

~~DukeP~~

[Jessterw]

While I've long been more mature amongst my peers, the last six years of my life have largely been the most influential in terms of affecting my maturity level.

I didn't have to suffer the loss of a loved one, I didn't take up responsibilities that I otherwise would not have, more so it was that I reaffirmed that I could take on responsibilities that I had long felt I could. However, I have lost loved ones and I have taken on responsibilities that I might not have otherwise had I made different choices in life, but those instances were far from defining moments in regards to maturity.

As I said before, maturity comes and goes in different manners for everyone and is wholly relative to their own lives.

[cjolley]

Is not.
phbbbbbbb....
chuck

[SpiralDragon]

Originally posted by EnglandJoe
Weird, just as I was opening this thread I was thinking "fine wine, lizzie, fine wine"

We're obviously tuned into the same frequency

yeah i have a knak for that

[SpiralDragon]

@ liz

what you are feeling is what i call the spiral effect... or rather , traveling along the spiral... some people dont notice it .. others see it more clearly.

So simple yet so complex… no mater how you look at it never makes sense yet it makes perfect sense. It is there but not there. Spiral… an anagram to our state of mind. Twisted, bent, perfect, complete… when do we begin? Where do we end? We spiral in and out, looking… searching… and what do we find at the end? Our selves? Or did we find that at the begging? Do we ever see the point before it is too late? Before we become one with spiral?

the thing with spirals (and technicly we live in one "the milkyway") is that no mater how you move its all the same... however you see everything from a compleatly new perspective