Here's a couple:
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one they began to tell their stories. Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying, broke, and made a mess." "and what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put your eggs in one basket!" said Kathy. "Very Good!" said the teacher.
"Now, Lucy?". "My family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is don't count your chickens until they hatch."
"That was a fine story, Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?" Yes Ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a pilot in Vietnam and his plane got hit. He had to bail-out over enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and machete. He drank all the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed 70 of them with the machine gun until he ran out bullets, then he killed 20 more with the machete til the blade broke and then he killed the rest with his bare hands." "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?" "Don't mess with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."
A frustrated wife decided her sex life needed spicing up. After work, she went shopping and picked up a pair of crotchless panties. She went home and donned the new garment and selected a short skirt to go with it. She greeted her husband when he came home from work and sat across from him they had a drink. She slowly spread her legs...."Honey would you like some of this?" "Hell no, look what it did to your underwear!"
Matt
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one they began to tell their stories. Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying, broke, and made a mess." "and what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put your eggs in one basket!" said Kathy. "Very Good!" said the teacher.
"Now, Lucy?". "My family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is don't count your chickens until they hatch."
"That was a fine story, Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?" Yes Ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a pilot in Vietnam and his plane got hit. He had to bail-out over enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and machete. He drank all the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed 70 of them with the machine gun until he ran out bullets, then he killed 20 more with the machete til the blade broke and then he killed the rest with his bare hands." "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?" "Don't mess with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."
A frustrated wife decided her sex life needed spicing up. After work, she went shopping and picked up a pair of crotchless panties. She went home and donned the new garment and selected a short skirt to go with it. She greeted her husband when he came home from work and sat across from him they had a drink. She slowly spread her legs...."Honey would you like some of this?" "Hell no, look what it did to your underwear!"
Matt
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