How to bathe a cat

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  • Helevitia
    Super MURCer
    • Aug 1999
    • 6628

    #1

    How to bathe a cat

    1. Thoroughly clean toilet.
    2. Lift both lids, add shampoo.
    3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him to bathroom.
    4. In one swift move place cat in toilet, close lids
    and stand on top so the cat cannot escape.
    5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds
    to clean self. (Ignore ruckus from inside toilet. Cat
    is enjoying this.)
    6. Flush toilet 3 to 4 times. This provides power
    for the rinse which is quite effective.
    7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from
    toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids.
    8. Clean cat will rocket out of toilet and outdoors
    where he will air dry.

    Sincerely,

    The Dog
    Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
  • Kruzin
    Jeepin' to the grave
    • Aug 1999
    • 6527

    #2
    This also works well with small dogs like chihuahuas.
    Just don't try it with a hampster....

    Core2 Duo E7500 2.93, Asus P5Q Pro Turbo, 4gig 1066 DDR2, 1gig Asus ENGTS250, SB X-Fi Gamer ,WD Caviar Black 1tb, Plextor PX-880SA, Dual Samsung 2494s

    Comment

    • Agent31
      MURCer
      • Aug 1999
      • 775

      #3
      a truely great mind came up with that, I cannot help but admire the genius of it!!!
      Look, I know you think the world of me, that's understandable, you're only human, but it's not nice to call somebody "Vain"!

      Comment

      • P5ycho
        MURCer
        • May 2000
        • 280

        #4
        the result:





        (uploaded under a different name to my own webspace, sorry for the inconvenience guys)
        Last edited by P5ycho; 25 July 2002, 18:42.

        Comment

        • Agent31
          MURCer
          • Aug 1999
          • 775

          #5
          the result: 4 images blocked by my co's firewall
          Look, I know you think the world of me, that's understandable, you're only human, but it's not nice to call somebody "Vain"!

          Comment

          • P5ycho
            MURCer
            • May 2000
            • 280

            #6
            Well i can't do anything about that now can I?

            Comment

            • Wombat
              Super MURCer
              • Aug 2000
              • 9498

              #7
              Yes, you could download them, and attach them.

              My company's firewall let's me see them, but I wouldn't want the logs to show me downloading them.
              Gigabyte P35-DS3L with a Q6600, 2GB Kingston HyperX (after *3* bad pairs of Crucial Ballistix 1066), Galaxy 8800GT 512MB, SB X-Fi, some drives, and a Dell 2005fpw. Running WinXP.

              Comment

              • Agent31
                MURCer
                • Aug 1999
                • 775

                #8
                I'm not complaining, just felt like sharing
                Look, I know you think the world of me, that's understandable, you're only human, but it's not nice to call somebody "Vain"!

                Comment

                • Kruzin
                  Jeepin' to the grave
                  • Aug 1999
                  • 6527

                  #9
                  What Wombat?
                  You think downloading pics of wet pussies would upset the boss?

                  That 2nd pic is great

                  Core2 Duo E7500 2.93, Asus P5Q Pro Turbo, 4gig 1066 DDR2, 1gig Asus ENGTS250, SB X-Fi Gamer ,WD Caviar Black 1tb, Plextor PX-880SA, Dual Samsung 2494s

                  Comment

                  • P5ycho
                    MURCer
                    • May 2000
                    • 280

                    #10
                    Well I'm sorry, if forum policy is to attach pictures i will do that from now on, but i figured this would save bandwidth. It would be rather funny indeed to explain something like this to your boss

                    Comment

                    • KvHagedorn
                      Super MURCer
                      • Aug 1999
                      • 10725

                      #11
                      wheres the link?

                      Comment

                      • Technoid
                        Super MURCer
                        • Sep 1999
                        • 7645

                        #12
                        ROTFLMAO!!
                        I usually heard when my sister “washed” her cat! (Not that I could have avoided it, it was probably loud enough to crack concrete)
                        He (the cat, who still is ha "he" despite being neutered) used to change from sounding threatening to sound really really whimpering!

                        Edit:
                        Why can’t people on this forum understand that grammar doesn’t work the same way in every language and converting from one to another sometimes makes the sentences “weird”!
                        Last edited by Technoid; 26 July 2002, 16:25.
                        If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

                        Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

                        Comment

                        • Wombat
                          Super MURCer
                          • Aug 2000
                          • 9498

                          #13
                          I used to listen to my sister bathing our cat!
                          He used to change from sounding threatening to sound really really whimpering!
                          No comment. I'm just going to let you hang on your own there.
                          Gigabyte P35-DS3L with a Q6600, 2GB Kingston HyperX (after *3* bad pairs of Crucial Ballistix 1066), Galaxy 8800GT 512MB, SB X-Fi, some drives, and a Dell 2005fpw. Running WinXP.

                          Comment

                          • Dr Mordrid
                            Moderator
                            • Apr 2001
                            • 26592

                            #14
                            1. fill washtub to brim with water (soap optional)

                            2. throw in cat

                            3. cover with 3/4" plywood and several cement blocks

                            4. go to a movie

                            Dr. Mordrid

                            Last edited by Dr Mordrid; 26 July 2002, 15:38.
                            Dr. Mordrid
                            ----------------------------
                            An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

                            I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

                            Comment

                            • KvHagedorn
                              Super MURCer
                              • Aug 1999
                              • 10725

                              #15
                              Good grief what ugly cats! Why would anyone breed cats or dogs to look like that when they look perfectly fine as a normal dog/cat. If they get anymore inbred, their eyes are gonna bug out just like those pug dogs.

                              btw, if there are anymore "funny" remarks about how to have "fun" murdering a defenseless animal, I'm gonna pull out the whupass and Joel will be forced to close the thread..

                              Comment

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