In the new spirit, some Python bits!

[KvHagedorn]

Post your favorite Python stuff here.. (bits from individual Montys too)

This was cool..



another Silly Walks link:

http://www.pythonsite.de/javascr/walk.htm

[gt40]

GALAHAD: Oh ... will you excuse me?
DINGO:_Where are you going?
GALAHAD: I have seen the Grail! I have seen it - here in this castle!
DINGO: No! _Oh, no! _Bad ... bad Zoot!
GALAHAD: What is it?
DINGO: Bad, wicked, naughty Zoot! _She has been setting fire to our beacon, which - I have just remembered - is grail-shaped ... _It is not the first time we've had this problem.
GALAHAD: It's not the real Grail?
DINGO: Wicked wicked Zoot ... she is a bad person and she must pay the penalty. _And here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment .. you must tie her down on a bed ... and spank her. _Come!
GIRLS: A spanking! _A spanking!
DINGO: You must spank her well and after you have spanked her you may deal with her as you like and then ... spank me.
AMAZING: And spank me!
STUNNER: And me.
LOVELY: And me.
DINGO: Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!
GIRLS: A spanking. A spanking. _There is going to be a spanking tonight.
DINGO: And after the spanking ... the oral sex.
GALAHAD: Oh, dear! Well, I...
GIRLS: The oral sex ... The oral sex.
GALAHAD: Well, I suppose I could stay a BIT longer.

[Nowhere]

ni!

[SitFlyer]

Lumberjack Song
From "Monty Python's Flying Circus"
Words by Michael Palin & Terry Jones
Music by Michael Palin, Terry Jones & Fred Tomlinson
-----------------------------------------


I'm a lumberjack
And I'm okay,
I sleep all night
And I work all day.

He's a lumberjack
And he's okay,
He sleeps all night
And he works all day.

I cut down trees,
I eat my lunch,
I go to the lavatory,
On Wednesdays I go shopping,
And have buttered scones for tea.

He cuts down trees,
He eats his lunch,
He goes to the lavatory,
On Wednesdays he goes shopping,
And has buttered scones for tea.

He's a lumberjack
And he's okay,
He sleeps all night
And he works all day.

I cut down trees,
I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers,
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.

He cuts down trees,
He skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers,
He puts on women's clothing,
And hangs around in bars.

He's a lumberjack
And he's okay,
He sleeps all night
And he works all day.

I cut down trees,
I wear high heels,
Suspendies and a bra,
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear pappa.

He cuts down trees,
He wears high heels?
Suspendies...and a bra..?

...He's a lumberjack
And he's okay,
He sleeps all night
And he works all day.

...He's a lumberjack
And he's O-K-A-Y...
He sleeps all night
And he works all day.

[Nowhere]

oh, and also (I don't remember how it was said exactly):

"come back here you coward!
hmmm, ok, lets say it's a draw"

[SitFlyer]

Scene 4: Arthur Meets a Brave Knight

[King Arthur music]
[music stops]
BLACK KNIGHT: Aaaagh!
[King Arthur music]
[music stops]
BLACK KNIGHT: Aaagh!
GREEN KNIGHT: Ooh!
[King Arthur music]
[music stops]
[stab]
BLACK KNIGHT: Aagh!
GREEN KNIGHT: Oh!
[King Arthur music]
Ooh! Uuh.
[music stops]
BLACK KNIGHT: Aaaagh!
[clang]
BLACK KNIGHT and GREEN KNIGHT: Agh!, oh!, etc.
GREEN KNIGHT: Aaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!
[woosh]
[BLACK KNIGHT kills GREEN KNIGHT]
[thud]
[scrape]
BLACK KNIGHT: Umm!
[clop clop clop]
ARTHUR: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
[pause]
I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
[pause]
I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Camelot.
[pause]
You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
[pause]
You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: None shall pass.
ARTHUR: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.
BLACK KNIGHT: Then you shall die.
ARTHUR: I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
BLACK KNIGHT: I move for no man.
ARTHUR: So be it!
ARTHUR and BLACK KNIGHT: Aaah!, hiyaah!, etc.
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]
ARTHUR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT: 'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR: A scratch? Your arm's off!
BLACK KNIGHT: No, it isn't.
ARTHUR: Well, what's that, then?
BLACK KNIGHT: I've had worse.
ARTHUR: You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT: Come on, you pansy!
[clang]
Huyah!
[clang]
Hiyaah!
[clang]
Aaaaaaaah!
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]
ARTHUR: Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy mer--
BLACK KNIGHT: Hah!
[kick]
Come on, then.
ARTHUR: What?
BLACK KNIGHT: Have at you!
[kick]
ARTHUR: Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT: Yes, I have.
ARTHUR: Look!
BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound.
[kick]
ARTHUR: Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT: Chicken!
[kick]
Chickennn!
ARTHUR: Look, I'll have your leg.
[kick]
Right!
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT: Right. I'll do you for that!
ARTHUR: You'll what?
BLACK KNIGHT: Come here!
ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT: I'm invincible!
ARTHUR: You're a looney.
BLACK KNIGHT: The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then.
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's last leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh? All right, we'll call it a draw.
ARTHUR: Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT: Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

[ZokesPro]

I fart in your general direction.

[Jammrock]

Zokes, if you're going to start it, you need to end it...

I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberry. Now get away or I will taunt you a second time!

Jammrock

[Nowhere]

"oh, brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin run away!
Bravely run away!!"

[gt40]

A TIGER!???

Livingstone: Er... I think I'd better come clean with you about this... it's... um it's not a virus, I'm afraid. You see, a virus is what we doctors call very, very small. So small it could not possibly have made off with a whole leg. What we're looking for here is I think, and this is no more than an educated guess, I'd like to make that clear, is some multi-cellular life form with stripes, huge razor-sharp teeth, about eleven foot long and of the genu *felis horribilis*. What we doctors, in fact, call a tiger.

All in tent: A tiger...!!

[Outside, everyone engaged in battle, including the Zulus, breaks off and shouts in horror:]

All: A tiger!

[The Zulus run off.]

Pakenham-Walsh: A tiger - in Africa?

Ainsworth: Hm...

Pakenham-Walsh: A tiger in Africa...?

Ainsworth: Ah... well it's probably escaped from a zoo.

Pakenham-Walsh: Well it doesn't sound very likely.

[ZokesPro]

Originally posted by Jammrock
Zokes, if you're going to start it, you need to end it...

I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberry. Now get away or I will taunt you a second time!

Jammrock

Oops forgot the rest. Thanks Jam.

[Ribbit]

The man complaining in the travel agent's. And no, I'm not going to type it out here.

[Wombat]

Good morning. I'd like to have an argument.

[gt40]

you can find almost all of these here

[Nowhere]

"-What?! Behind the Rabbit?
-IT IS THE RABBIT!"