Life...............

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  • LvR
    Super MURCer
    • Jun 2000
    • 1570

    #1

    Life...............

    > > > TWENTY-FIVE THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED BY NOW !
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very
    >often.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
    >standing
    > > > in
    > > > > a
    > > > > > garage makes you a car.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never
    > > > tried
    > > > > > before.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is
    >serious.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government
    > > program.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the
    > > trip.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 12. Wherever you go, there you are.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the
    > > waist
    > > > > > change places.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three
    >weeks
    > > > > > before you need it.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a
    > > > mistake
    > > > > > when you make it again.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the
    >real
    > > > > world.
    > > > > >
    > > > > > 25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
    Lawrence
  • Greebe
    Super MURCer
    • Aug 1999
    • 8555

    #2
    we must be on similar email lists...

    TWENTY FIVE THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED BY NOW!

    1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
    2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
    3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
    4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
    5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
    6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
    7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
    8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
    9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
    10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
    11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
    12. Wherever you go, there you are.
    13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
    14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
    15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
    16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
    17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
    18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
    19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
    20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
    21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
    22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
    23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
    24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
    25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

    only difference is "cheques" is spelt "checks" which I'd guess are Canadian and American, respectively and has 301 less ">"'s

    edit: one less"-" too
    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." -- Dr. Seuss

    "Always do good. It will gratify some and astonish the rest." ~Mark Twain

    Comment

    • LvR
      Super MURCer
      • Jun 2000
      • 1570

      #3
      26. email sent from US contacts does not post well at MURC
      Lawrence

      Comment

      • SpiralDragon
        Super MURCer
        • May 2002
        • 3548

        #4
        lol
        "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

        Comment

        • KvHagedorn
          Super MURCer
          • Aug 1999
          • 10725

          #5
          Mike, I can't believe you sat there and counted those ">"s. You win the boredom award for today..

          Comment

          • GuchiGuh
            Comic Relief
            • Jun 2002
            • 1656

            #6
            Bwahahaha!
            i didn't know such award existed

            Comment

            • Sethos
              MURCer
              • Oct 2002
              • 594

              #7
              15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
              guy the other day shot accidentaly in drive by the other day...while doing dishes...


              only difference is "cheques" is spelt "checks" which I'd guess are Canadian and American, respectively and has 301 less ">"'s
              Queen's english vs. "Bastardized" english

              19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
              All too TRUE!!!

              ~Sethos
              "...and in the next instant he was one of the deadest men that ever lived." – Mark Twain

              Comment

              • SpiralDragon
                Super MURCer
                • May 2002
                • 3548

                #8
                life is a post whore and i want my money back :d
                "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

                Comment

                • VJ
                  Moderator
                  • Mar 2001
                  • 9733

                  #9
                  Originally posted by KvHagedorn
                  Mike, I can't believe you sat there and counted those ">"s. You win the boredom award for today..
                  You know, when you perform a search and replace in an editor, most editors inform you afterwards of how many items were replaced...


                  Jörg
                  pixar
                  Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow. (James Dean)

                  Comment

                  • SpiralDragon
                    Super MURCer
                    • May 2002
                    • 3548

                    #10
                    lol
                    "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

                    Comment

                    • LvR
                      Super MURCer
                      • Jun 2000
                      • 1570

                      #11
                      erm .............whats an "editor" and why would I want to "search" with it
                      Lawrence

                      Comment

                      • Helevitia
                        Super MURCer
                        • Aug 1999
                        • 6628

                        #12
                        Originally posted by KvHagedorn
                        Mike, I can't believe you sat there and counted those ">"s. You win the boredom award for today..
                        You don't use *nix style editors too much do you
                        Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

                        Comment

                        • Maggi
                          Super MURCer
                          • Jan 2000
                          • 5057

                          #13
                          no need for *nix on that one, try http://www.ultraedit.com/

                          Despite my nickname causing confusion, I am not female ...

                          ASRock Fatal1ty X79 Professional
                          Intel Core i7-3930K@4.3GHz
                          be quiet! Dark Rock Pro 2
                          4x 8GB G.Skill TridentX PC3-19200U@CR1
                          2x MSI N670GTX PE OC (SLI)
                          OCZ Vertex 4 256GB
                          4x2TB Seagate Barracuda Green 5900.3 (2x4TB RAID0)
                          Super Flower Golden Green Modular 800W
                          Nanoxia Deep Silence 1
                          LG BH10LS38
                          LG DM2752D 27" 3D

                          Comment

                          • Helevitia
                            Super MURCer
                            • Aug 1999
                            • 6628

                            #14
                            that's why I said "*nix style* editors
                            Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

                            Comment

                            • Maggi
                              Super MURCer
                              • Jan 2000
                              • 5057

                              #15
                              dummy, me ...
                              Despite my nickname causing confusion, I am not female ...

                              ASRock Fatal1ty X79 Professional
                              Intel Core i7-3930K@4.3GHz
                              be quiet! Dark Rock Pro 2
                              4x 8GB G.Skill TridentX PC3-19200U@CR1
                              2x MSI N670GTX PE OC (SLI)
                              OCZ Vertex 4 256GB
                              4x2TB Seagate Barracuda Green 5900.3 (2x4TB RAID0)
                              Super Flower Golden Green Modular 800W
                              Nanoxia Deep Silence 1
                              LG BH10LS38
                              LG DM2752D 27" 3D

                              Comment

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