Did Jesus use a modem?

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  • Fat Tone
    Super MURCer
    • Aug 1999
    • 7579

    #1

    Did Jesus use a modem?

    Did Jesus use a modem? (Author unknown)

    Did Jesus use a modem,
    At the Sermon on the Mount?
    Did He ever try a broadcast fax,
    To send His message out?
    Did the disciples carry beepers,
    As they went about their route?
    Did Jesus use a modem,
    At the Sermon on the Mount?

    Did Paul use a laptop,
    With lots of RAM and ROM?
    Were his letters posted on a BBS,
    At Paul.Rome.Com?
    Did the man from Macedonia,
    Send an E-Mail saying "Come?"
    Did Paul use a Laptop,
    With lots of RAM and ROM?

    Did Moses use a joystick,
    At the parting of the Sea?
    And a Satellite Guidance Tracking System,
    To show him where to be?
    Did he write the law on tablets,
    Or are they really on CD?
    Did Moses use a joystick,
    At the parting of the Sea?

    Did Jesus really die for us,
    One day upon a tree?
    Or was it just a Hologram,
    Or Technical Wizardry?
    Can you download the Live Action Video Clip,
    To play on your PC?
    Did Jesus really die for us,
    One day upon a tree?

    Have the wonders of this modern age,
    Made you question what is true?
    How a single man, in a simple time,
    Could offer life anew?
    How a sinless life, a cruel death,
    Then a glorious life again,
    Could offer more to a desperate world,
    Than all the inventions of man?

    If in your life, the voice of God,
    Is sometimes hard to hear.
    With other voices calling,
    His doesn't touch your ear.
    Then set aside your laptop and modem,
    And all your fancy gear.
    And open your Bible, open your heart,
    And let your Father draw near.
    FT.
  • ZokesPro
    Serial Murcerer
    • Sep 2000
    • 8325

    #2
    I doubt that Jesus used a modem, he prolly had a T3 line or something.
    Titanium is the new bling!
    (you heard from me first!)

    Comment

    • Fat Tone
      Super MURCer
      • Aug 1999
      • 7579

      #3
      yeah, but that didn't scan right
      FT.

      Comment

      • Jammrock
        The Berserker
        • Aug 1999
        • 8661

        #4
        Maybe he had an OC48 ... 258 MB/s of synchronous up/down goodness. If only I have $100k a month to burn.

        Jammrock
        “Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out”
        –The Light Fantastic, Terry Pratchett

        Comment

        • gt40
          This space for rent
          • Sep 1999
          • 3973

          #5
          no, definetly DSL
          disciple subcriber line.
          Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own lunar space lander! With blackjack aaaaannd Hookers! Actually, forget the space lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!

          Comment

          • Technoid
            Super MURCer
            • Sep 1999
            • 7645

            #6
            Weird alert!
            If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

            Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

            Comment

            • DGhost
              Super MURCer
              • May 2000
              • 2573

              #7
              if he used a modem i guarantee all these ****oles will go to hell: those create websites that have 1) flash, 2) flash intro's, 3) lots of graphics and 4) anything that forces the downloading of the whole site before it will display

              "And yet, after spending 20+ years trying to evolve the user interface into something better, what's the most powerful improvement Apple was able to make? They finally put a god damned shell back in." -jwz

              Comment

              • KRSESQ
                Super MURCer
                • Feb 2000
                • 3224

                #8
                if he used a modem i guarantee all these ****oles will go to hell: those create websites that have 1) flash, 2) flash intro's, 3) lots of graphics and 4) anything that forces the downloading of the whole site before it will display
                You left out pop-ups. There's a very special corner of the seventh level reserved for the guy who invented pop-ups.

                Kevin

                Comment

                • DGhost
                  Super MURCer
                  • May 2000
                  • 2573

                  #9
                  good point. forgot those...
                  "And yet, after spending 20+ years trying to evolve the user interface into something better, what's the most powerful improvement Apple was able to make? They finally put a god damned shell back in." -jwz

                  Comment

                  • az
                    Moderator
                    • Feb 2001
                    • 9336

                    #10
                    Tony, what's up with your avatar?

                    And where's the head?

                    AZ
                    There's an Opera in my macbook.

                    Comment

                    • Fat Tone
                      Super MURCer
                      • Aug 1999
                      • 7579

                      #11
                      I'm going through a change

                      I think the head is the pink bit above the hood
                      FT.

                      Comment

                      • dave m
                        MURCer
                        • Sep 1999
                        • 334

                        #12
                        He's metamorphosing back into Friar Tuck before the Leicester Uni thought police catch up with him

                        Dave
                        Don't make me angry...

                        Comment

                        • bsdgeek
                          Super MURCer
                          • Feb 2002
                          • 1543

                          #13
                          Originally posted by gt40
                          no, definetly DSL
                          disciple subcriber line.
                          ROFL!

                          Comment

                          • Umfriend
                            Crabby Smurf
                            • Mar 2001
                            • 7308

                            #14
                            Clearly, all these guys used wireless communication....tssssk
                            Join MURCs Distributed Computing effort for Rosetta@Home and help fight Alzheimers, Cancer, Mad Cow disease and rising oil prices.
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