Daft things people say and daft signs

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  • The PIT
    Super MURCer
    • Aug 1999
    • 11901

    #1

    Daft things people say and daft signs

    A policeman who visited our house to advise on security.

    We've got two side gates that we keep locked to stop people trying to cut across too the back path. Plus it provides a wind break to stop damage to the plants in the garden.

    The policeman serious said this about them. "Leave them open when you're out."

    To that I replied "I think you'll find the Burglars will just shut them"

    The policeman couldn't answer that.

    The other stupid comment he came up with. "It's also a good idea to have one room downstairs rather than two and leave the curtains open. That way burglars can be seen from the street."

    Totally stupid as we weren't going to knock two rooms into one plus the Burglar could again easily close the curtains.

    Over the breakin the insurance companies wouldn't insure us unless we had security bolts on the back door. Useless because the most of the door is glass so they'd just smash that again. But they insisted.

    While walking the other day I noticed a sign which I think was meant to say Private land no public access. In fact it said "No private access".
    Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
    Weather nut and sad git.

    My Weather Page
  • The PIT
    Super MURCer
    • Aug 1999
    • 11901

    #2
    Okay another daft one.

    Car broken down in a bottom of a dip.

    Policeman can you move it?
    Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
    Weather nut and sad git.

    My Weather Page

    Comment

    • GuchiGuh
      Comic Relief
      • Jun 2002
      • 1656

      #3
      BWAHAHAHAH!!! utterly confuzing indeed

      Comment

      • KvHagedorn
        Super MURCer
        • Aug 1999
        • 10725

        #4
        I will advise you on security.. Buy a full grown male Siberian tiger and have a bulletproof vest made for him. I hope the blood stains will come out of the carpet.

        Comment

        • VJ
          Moderator
          • Mar 2001
          • 9733

          #5
          In highschool, there was a case of soft-drug dealers.

          The principal's response in the newspaper: "There were no drugs in our school, and the parties involved have been punished."


          Jörg
          pixar
          Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow. (James Dean)

          Comment

          • Byock
            Super MURCer
            • Jul 2000
            • 2328

            #6
            Muwahahaha! No drugs, yet they were punished.
            "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

            Comment

            • The PIT
              Super MURCer
              • Aug 1999
              • 11901

              #7
              Originally posted by VJ
              In highschool, there was a case of soft-drug dealers.

              The principal's response in the newspaper: "There were no drugs in our school, and the parties involved have been punished."


              Jörg
              Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
              Weather nut and sad git.

              My Weather Page

              Comment

              • Pace
                Super MURCer
                • Feb 2000
                • 3414

                #8
                Dealers that didn't deal at school perhaps?
                Meet Jasmine.
                flickr.com/photos/pace3000

                Comment

                • VJ
                  Moderator
                  • Mar 2001
                  • 9733

                  #9
                  No no, the "deals" were at school (on the playground), by scholars. Simply the fact that the principal says there was no drug-issue, yet that the parties involved were punished doesn't make any sense (the last part implies that there was a drug-issue ).


                  Jörg
                  pixar
                  Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow. (James Dean)

                  Comment

                  • M|x
                    Super MURCer
                    • Nov 2002
                    • 494

                    #10
                    Originally posted by VJ
                    In highschool, there was a case of soft-drug dealers.

                    The principal's response in the newspaper: "There were no drugs in our school, and the parties involved have been punished."


                    Jörg
                    speaking of dumb quotes

                    Comment

                    • DukeP
                      Super MURCer
                      • Nov 1999
                      • 1830

                      #11
                      Weee. Good Old President Bush (junior).
                      Might he be even worse at english than I?



                      ~~DukeP~~

                      Comment

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