5 Kinds Of Sex

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  • Ozbreeze
    MURCette
    • Dec 2002
    • 249

    #1

    5 Kinds Of Sex

    1) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon, you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.

    2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, You'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.

    3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.

    4) The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Screw you!"

    5) There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.

    Have a great day!
    I'm a genie in a bottle BABY, gotta rub ME the right way!!!
  • DukeP
    Super MURCer
    • Nov 1999
    • 1830

    #2
    Lol.

    Not exactely happy stuff, but I can see the progression.

    (Currently in the kitchen, please let it stay there!).

    ~~DukeP~~

    Comment

    • gt40
      This space for rent
      • Sep 1999
      • 3973

      #3
      hmm, stage 3
      Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own lunar space lander! With blackjack aaaaannd Hookers! Actually, forget the space lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!

      Comment

      • Byock
        Super MURCer
        • Jul 2000
        • 2328

        #4
        Stage 5, Got screwed.
        "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

        Comment

        • Sasq
          Administrator
          • Jan 2001
          • 4635

          #5
          Past stage 4, waiting on stage 5
          Juu nin to iro


          English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark alleys, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.

          Comment

          • Kastuvas
            MURCer
            • Sep 2001
            • 395

            #6
            Stage 0 still enjoying the freedom :P
            Asus A7N8X-E Deluxe (nForce2)>>AMD 2500+@ 3200+ (Barton)>>1.5 GB Ram (PC400)>>Leadtek GF 6800 12x6(385/850)>>Western Digital 120GB (WD1200JB) & Fujitsu 20Gb(MPF3204AT)>>Cambridge Audio azur 540A>>Razer Viper(Mouse)>>V7 V7S20PD 20.1 TFT Monitor>>NEC 3510A>>Lite-ON (40x10)>>Cherry CyMotion>>CanoScan N670U>>Epson Stylus Color 760>>Windows XP (SP2)


            Comment

            • Chrono_Wanderer
              Super MURCer
              • Mar 2002
              • 2540

              #7
              Originally posted by Kastuvas
              Stage 0 still enjoying the freedom :P
              me too

              Comment

              • Ajax
                Super MURCer
                • Oct 2002
                • 877

                #8
                Think I'll start with Stage 2, then move on to Stage 1 tonight.
                --Insert something here--

                Comment

                • LvR
                  Super MURCer
                  • Jun 2000
                  • 1570

                  #9
                  Lawrence

                  Comment

                  • Chrono_Wanderer
                    Super MURCer
                    • Mar 2002
                    • 2540

                    #10
                    Ozbreeze, stage 1 won't make blue faces, stage 1 makes green faces, as show by ajax and LvR's similes

                    Comment

                    • Dilitante1
                      Administrator
                      • Aug 1999
                      • 1829

                      #11
                      Forgot one form of sex though, oral

                      As you spend more time apart due to hallway sex, it eventually turns ito oral


                      Woman: F**k you, you worthless @sshole
                      Man: F**k you B*tch




                      (I happen to have experienced this long b4 wife moved out)
                      Last edited by Dilitante1; 18 February 2004, 20:50.
                      Better to let one think you are a fool, than speak and prove it


                      Comment

                      • SpiralDragon
                        Super MURCer
                        • May 2002
                        • 3548

                        #12
                        on 3 here
                        "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

                        Comment

                        • omegaRED
                          MURCer
                          • Feb 2001
                          • 915

                          #13
                          Halfway through 1 and 2 here.
                          Seth, are you ok? I`m peachy Kate. The world is my oyster. - Seth Gecko

                          Comment

                          • lAmerZ
                            MURCer
                            • Apr 2000
                            • 159

                            #14
                            1 and 2-ish 1 (not married yet) and 3-ish 1 (no kids, but comfortable bed)
                            Work-Box:P4C3.0GHz; DFI LAN Party875Pro, GeiL Golden Dragon 512MB PC3500 DDRAM, ==>>PARHELIA 128+ZALMAN HEATPIPE MOD<<==, 2 x WD360 Raptor 36Gig RAID 0, MAXTOR 6Y080L0 80Gig, Plextor PX-W4824A, Toshiba SD-M1612, 2x BenQ FP767 17"TFT

                            MEDIA-BOX:P4C3,2GHz; ASUS P4P800 Deluxe, GeiL Golden Dragon 512MB PC4000 DDRAM, Radeon9800XT, 2xHitachi HDS722512-VLSA80; RAID0, Plextor PX-116A, PX-708A, Plextor Premium/T3B

                            Comment

                            • GNEP
                              Super MURCer
                              • Feb 2002
                              • 5241

                              #15
                              Stage Zero and not particularly wanting to go back to any of the other stages at the moment...
                              DM says: Crunch with Matrox Users@ClimatePrediction.net

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