Amusing TV Quotes

[EnglandJoe]

Ok so I'm slightly ripping of Lizzie's thread but... eh.

What are your favourite TV comedy quotes?

Here's one of mine, with a WAV file I found. (text slightly edited, listen to the wav it's small )

You were in Nam? We had a badass rollercoaster but all we ever wanted was a log ride. We waited and we waited, but they never built us one. I think Danforth wanted a logride more than anybody but he had to settle with that lame dinosaur water adventure ride... that war was hell on everybody.

http://www.jahozafat.com/cgi-bin/spwavs.cgi?Episode_206_The_Mexican_Staring_Frog_Of_Southern_Sri_Lanka=206_warishell.wav

[jms]

A list like this _has_ to include something from the Simpsons:

Homer: "Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

Homer: "All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one"

Homer: "Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that."

Homer: "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love."

And many, many more. Best show ever.

Jan

[Dr Mordrid]

Scary thought:

our middle son, Chris, is turning into Homer Simpson.

Yes, he's the one who fell into the family gene pools drain

Dr. Mordrid

[schmosef]

Bud Bundy from "Married... with Children":

"And the World will see her underwear!"

That line still plays in my head whenever I'm about to accomplish some great personal victory.

[breezer]

The Prime Ministers saying 'The Home Secretary is a man of vision'


UK home secretary is currently under investigation for possibly abusing his position of power. He is effectivly the head of the police/imigration.

[agallag]

My favourite Simpsons quote:

Homer, while looking up at the heavens: "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!!"

[EnglandJoe]

Originally posted by agallag
My favourite Simpsons quote:

Homer, while looking up at the heavens: "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!!"

That reminds me of a BritCom "Spaced" which Lizzie refuses to watch

I can't remember it exactly but Tim is praying up against the wall "I normally don't ask for much..." and it pans up and he's praying to his picture of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

[Fat Tone]

Originally posted by breezer
The Prime Ministers saying 'The Home Secretary is a man of vision'


UK home secretary is currently under investigation for possibly abusing his position of power. He is effectivly the head of the police/imigration.

For those who don't know, the UK home secretary is also BLIND

[az]

ROFLMAO

AZ

[Fat Tone]

Is there a problem with this thread? I've had 2 or 3 notifications but the posts aren't here! Latest was H_J at 16.20.

[High_Jumbllama]

I had posted one but deleted it because it was from a movie.

[Fat Tone]

Ah! Then I'm guessing you weren't the first today

[Jammrock]

Brain: Pinkie, are you pondering what I'm ponering?

...

Pinky: Yeah, Brain, but burlap? It chafs me so.

Yeah, Brain, but me and Pippie Longstocking? I mean, what would the children look like?

I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but if we didn't have ears, we'd look like weasels.

Uh, I think so, Brain, but we'll never get a monkey to use dental floss.

Uh, I think so Brain, but this time, you wear the tutu.

Well, I think so, Brain, but I can't memorize a whole opera in Yiddish.

Well, I think so -POIT- but where do you stick the feather and call it macaroni?

Well, I think so, Brain, but it's a miracle that this one grew back.

Well, I think so hiccup, but Kevin Costner with an English accent?

[lecter]

No list would be complete without Seinfeld:

"The sea was angry that day my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."

"I can't carry a pen, I'm afraid it'll puncture my scrotum."

"Knowing you is like going into the jungle, I don't know what I'll find next, and I'm real scared."




"Why don't you go out. It's nice out."
"Oh no, there's nothing out there for me."
"There's weather."
"Weather. I don't need weather. Weather doesn't do it for me."




"They always remember the first time."
"I don't want to be remembered. I want to be forgotten."