It happened at Tesco's

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Brian Ellis
    Super MURCer
    • Sep 1999
    • 9623

    #1

    It happened at Tesco's

    A man was in a long line at his local Tesco store.
    As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get
    condoms,
    so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the
    register.
    She asked, 'What size condoms?' The customer replied that he
    didn'tknow. She asked him to drop his trousers. He did.
    She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over
    the intercom, 'One box of large condoms, Till 5.'
    The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of
    us,was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the register, he told the
    checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have
    some brought to the register for him.
    She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know.
    She asked him to drop his trousers. He did.
    She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, 'One
    box of medium-sized condoms, Till 5.' A few customers back was this
    teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had
    any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was
    his chance. When he got to the till he told the checker he needed some
    condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn't know.
    She asked him to drop his trousers and he did.
    She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked
    up the intercom and said..................


    (you'll love this one................scroll down ........)













    'Mop and bucket, Till 5'
    Brian (the devil incarnate)
  • Evildead666
    Super MURCer
    • Mar 2002
    • 3116

    #2
    Ha ha haaaaaaa!!!
    PC-1 Fractal Design Arc Mini R2, 3800X, Asus B450M-PRO mATX, 2x8GB B-die@3800C16, AMD Vega64, Seasonic 850W Gold, Black Ice Nemesis/Laing DDC/EKWB 240 Loop (VRM>CPU>GPU), Noctua Fans.
    Nas : i3/itx/2x4GB/8x4TB BTRFS/Raid6 (7 + Hotspare) Xpenology
    +++ : FSP Nano 800VA (Pi's+switch) + 1600VA (PC-1+Nas)

    Comment

    • Umfriend
      Crabby Smurf
      • Mar 2001
      • 7308

      #3
      I don't get it but I am somewhat concerned by
      He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female
      Join MURCs Distributed Computing effort for Rosetta@Home and help fight Alzheimers, Cancer, Mad Cow disease and rising oil prices.
      [...]the pervading principle and abiding test of good breeding is the requirement of a substantial and patent waste of time. - Veblen

      Comment

      • ZokesPro
        Serial Murcerer
        • Sep 2000
        • 8325

        #4
        Originally posted by Umfriend View Post
        I don't get it but I am somewhat concerned by
        He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female
        www.realdoll.com maybe?
        Titanium is the new bling!
        (you heard from me first!)

        Comment

        • Umfriend
          Crabby Smurf
          • Mar 2001
          • 7308

          #5
          LOL, although stictly speaking, that is not a female. Not even a dead one. I'd prefer a doll over a dead one though.
          Join MURCs Distributed Computing effort for Rosetta@Home and help fight Alzheimers, Cancer, Mad Cow disease and rising oil prices.
          [...]the pervading principle and abiding test of good breeding is the requirement of a substantial and patent waste of time. - Veblen

          Comment

          • Brian Ellis
            Super MURCer
            • Sep 1999
            • 9623

            #6
            I'm not sure I'd fancy one of those, at that price. Some people must have more money than sense.

            The Standard female REALDOLL is $6499.00. The Male Realdoll is $6999.00. Shipping is $500 within the continental United States, and generally $850.00 international. Complete information about ordering can be found on our ORDERS page.
            Brian (the devil incarnate)

            Comment

            • Umfriend
              Crabby Smurf
              • Mar 2001
              • 7308

              #7
              But to stay on topic: at what price would you fancy a dead female?
              Join MURCs Distributed Computing effort for Rosetta@Home and help fight Alzheimers, Cancer, Mad Cow disease and rising oil prices.
              [...]the pervading principle and abiding test of good breeding is the requirement of a substantial and patent waste of time. - Veblen

              Comment

              • ZokesPro
                Serial Murcerer
                • Sep 2000
                • 8325

                #8
                Your comment is disturbing.
                Titanium is the new bling!
                (you heard from me first!)

                Comment

                • Claymonkey
                  Super MURCer
                  • Dec 2000
                  • 1871

                  #9
                  Awesome joke! Umfriend I find it interesting you focused on that aspect of the story. Want to tell us something about yourself?
                  Wikipedia and Google.... the needles to my tangent habit.
                  ________________________________________________

                  That special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, Or maybe below the cockles, Maybe in the sub-cockle area, Maybe in the liver, Maybe in the kidneys, Maybe even in the colon, We don't know.

                  Comment

                  • Fat Tone
                    Super MURCer
                    • Aug 1999
                    • 7579

                    #10
                    Well I get the joke (presumably Schmo does too ) but I did trip up on the live thing and nearly posted but RL got in the way.

                    @Brian, those dolls are a lot cheaper than the real thing. My wife just cost me $10,000 for a new car.
                    FT.

                    Comment

                    • ND66
                      Super MURCer
                      • Jan 2006
                      • 2001

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Fat Tone View Post

                      @Brian, those dolls are a lot cheaper than the real thing. My wife just cost me $10,000 for a new car.

                      Forgot something?


                      Not being able to talk is priceless??????


                      .
                      Diplomacy, it's a way of saying “nice doggie”, until you find a rock!

                      Comment

                      • Brian Ellis
                        Super MURCer
                        • Sep 1999
                        • 9623

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Umfriend View Post
                        But to stay on topic: at what price would you fancy a dead female?
                        I may not be sure I'd fancy a doll at that price, but I'm damn sure I wouldn't fancy a dead one at any price
                        Brian (the devil incarnate)

                        Comment

                        • Umfriend
                          Crabby Smurf
                          • Mar 2001
                          • 7308

                          #13
                          My point exactly.
                          Join MURCs Distributed Computing effort for Rosetta@Home and help fight Alzheimers, Cancer, Mad Cow disease and rising oil prices.
                          [...]the pervading principle and abiding test of good breeding is the requirement of a substantial and patent waste of time. - Veblen

                          Comment

                          • Umfriend
                            Crabby Smurf
                            • Mar 2001
                            • 7308

                            #14
                            Yeah Clay, I got dark-brown hair but some of it, just a bit, is greying.
                            Join MURCs Distributed Computing effort for Rosetta@Home and help fight Alzheimers, Cancer, Mad Cow disease and rising oil prices.
                            [...]the pervading principle and abiding test of good breeding is the requirement of a substantial and patent waste of time. - Veblen

                            Comment

                            • FatBastard
                              MURCer
                              • May 2007
                              • 305

                              #15
                              Originally posted by ZokesPro View Post
                              One must wonder how's working for that QC department.
                              Originally posted by Gurm
                              .. some very fair skinned women just have a nasty brown crack no matter what...

                              Comment

                              Working...