And now for something completely different

[mmilburn]

Who is Jack Schitt

Many people are at loss for a response when someone says, 'You don't know
Jack Schitt' Now you can handle the situation. Jack is the only son of
Awe schitt and O.schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertiliser magnate, married O.Schitt
the owner of Kneedeep N. Schitt Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt,Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt
and the twins: Deap Schitt,and DIP Schitt, Against her parent'swishes,
Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.

After being married 15 years Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later
MR. Sherlock,and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep
her previouse name, She was then known as'Noe Schitt Sherlock.'
Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son
Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood
and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony,
The wedding announcement in the papers announced the 'Schitt-Happens
wedding.The Schitt-Happens children were: Dawg, Byrd,and Hoarse, Bull,
Schitt, the prodigal son left home to tour the world, he recently returned
from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.

So now when someone says, 'you don't know Jack Schitt', you can correct them

[A_BIT]

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway complaining about Nurse Sally.

"She is so dumb! She does everything backwards. Last week I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours! He nearly died!"

The second doctor said, "I know....yesterday I told her to give my patient an enema every 12 hours, she tried to give her 12 enemas
in an hour!"

Suddenly they heard a scream from down the hall. "Oh my God"!! said the first doctor, "I just told nurse Sally to prick Mr. Smith's boil.!!



[This message has been edited by A_BIT (edited 05 May 2000).]

[jeff b]

Bumper sticker seen in Wisconsin:
"Honk if you love Cheeses!"
<
If a farmer goes into town with two pecks of apples and trades them for three pecks of pears, what is he? A peck ahead.