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**Rags** · 7 September 1999, 18:34

Youz jus be watching it now, I mite just take a liking to wrapping a bumper 'round youz skull.

**Kruzin** · 7 September 1999, 18:36

This is good for some giggles:

Ant, looking like he's a few (dozen) too many

And SteveC (second from the left) looking a little lost in the conversation

Pics from www.g200.com , and Phil's ECTS review...

**Joel** · 7 September 1999, 18:49

THE VASECTOMY

After having their 11th child, a redneck couple decided that that was
enough. They could not afford a larger double-wide. So, the husband went to
his doctor, who also treated mules, and told him that he and his wife/cousin
didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could
fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb
(small fireworks), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his
ear and count to 10.

The redneck said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't
see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help
me."

So, the couple drove to get a second opinion.

The second doctor was just about to tell them about the medical procedure
for a vasectomy when he realized how truly backwards these people were. This
doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place
it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.

Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home,
lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.
He held the can up to his ear and began to count.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . . ", at which point he paused, placed the beer can
between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

Joel

**KvHagedorn** · 7 September 1999, 23:01

Speaking of humor, Nuno sent me the first page from our infamous campaign of last night. I redid everything in Word to 12 point so it would be readable and added whatever pictures I had saved. If anyone wants a copy of the whole thread, e-mail me.

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Kind Regards,

KvH

**SteveC** · 8 September 1999, 02:03

That was Lorien (gagames) arguing against Jason (Matrox, duh!) - geforce256 vs G400. And lil' ol' me (terrible photo, btw) attempting to see what it felt like to throw around a minimum of 10 million polygons around in my head. It began to hurt.

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Cheers,
Steve

PS: Some or all of the above message may be wrong, or, just as likely, correct. Depends on what mood I'm in. And what you know. ;¬)

**SteveC** · 8 September 1999, 02:22

We have NO pictures of Phil though... so unfair! And Ant feels worse that that now after his experience with a beautifully clean and wonderfully hygenic restaurant we ate in.

Phil - thanks for not mentioning the curtains...

------------------
Cheers,
Steve

PS: Some or all of the above message may be wrong, or, just as likely, correct. Depends on what mood I'm in. And what you know. ;¬)

**Jorden** · 8 September 1999, 06:25

At least Steve was walking around in MURC colours

Jorden.

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I don't even know how to spell Grum err Murg err Grmrrrrrrrr.
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Holly, Love and Tiberian Sun Rules !!
------------

-I want my 1120 posts back-

**Guyver** · 8 September 1999, 07:23

Ear ya go!

STUPIDITY AT ITS FINEST!

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say the
helpdesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the
WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:

'Ridge Hall, computer assistant; may I help you?'

'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

'What sort of trouble?'

'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away.'

'Went away?'

'They disappeared.'

'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

'Nothing.'

'Nothing?'

'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

'How do I tell?'

'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?'

'What's a sea-prompt?'

'Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?'

'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
type.'

'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'

'What's a monitor?'

'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it
have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

'I don't know.'

'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that?'

'Yes, I think so.'

'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
into the wall.'

'Yes, it is.'

'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were
two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?'

'No.'

'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable.'

'Okay, here it is.'

'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
back of your computer.'

'I can't reach.'

'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?'

'No.'

'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'

'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because
it's dark.'

'Dark?'

'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming
in from the window.'

'Well, turn on the office light then.'

'I can't.'

'No? Why not?'

'Because there's a power outage.'

'A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in?'

'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like
it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
from.'

'Really? Is it that bad?'

'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

'Tell them you're too f---ing stupid to own a computer.'

**PurpleHaze** · 8 September 1999, 08:17

What's with these strange white rooms you guys get locked in with Matrox employees? White doors with little windows and a big angry Matroxian (second from right) with his arms folded lookin' like he's named Dieter and ready to bust some ribs? Who's the guy to the left of SteveC who looks like he's saying to the Matrox guy, "I'm gonna take you doowwwwn!" Do you guys fight and "wrassle" there? What's with the official looking nametags and is this like an Area 51 sort of thing? Can you guys fly me there on a plane with blacked-out windows?

I mean I really think I could take on one of those Matrox employees. I'd wear my big boots, or something.

*fiz|bored.

------------------
Ami Y. Koriuchi - foxyviolet@hotmail.com
Asus P2B 1010 - P3-500
256MB 6NS
70 GB of 10k RPM SCSI UW style.

I sure do like robots.

**Jorden** · 8 September 1999, 08:19

Looks like you were there allready, Ami... hiding begind the guy on the right

**PurpleHaze** · 8 September 1999, 08:29

Maybe if my entire body were bleached, and I grew 5 inches, sure

[This message has been edited by PurpleHaze (edited 09-08-1999).]

**SteveC** · 8 September 1999, 08:30

Oooh, you really don't want to know what happened in that room. Sure Phil told you all the boring stuff on his site, but let's just say we were sweating badly in there....

That guy on the left is the big boss editor bloke from GaSource (Lorien). He walked in nvidia this and nvidia that, but left a true Matroxian.

------------------
Cheers,
Steve

PS: Some or all of the above message may be wrong, or, just as likely, correct. Depends on what mood I'm in. And what you know. ;¬)

**SteveC** · 8 September 1999, 08:31

Oh, Jorden - MURC colours? Nah, showing off my VCQ2 rendering...

**Ant** · 8 September 1999, 08:51

Hey at least I have the official MURC T-shirt on, and a bottle of Becks in hand even after 3 days of relentless alcohol abuse and no sleep.

Announcement

It's time for a bit of Humor, Ya'll

It's time for a bit of Humor, Ya'll

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