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You know when you've been playing too much UT when...
Tell the truth, You've done some of these things! 
You know when you've been playing too much UT when...
- Every time someone dies in a movie you hear the announcer saying "head shot", or "monster kill".
- Every where you go you think to yourself, "That would be a great sniper position."
- At work you tell your boss "I've got your back"
- People on the street feign dead in front of you.
- You smell like the box UT came in.
- Always find yourself engaging according to operational parameters.
- The cables for your monitor, keyboard and mouse reach all the way to the bathroom..
- You have erotic dreams of Nakita in her tight little battle dress...
- You re-live your latest matches in your dreams, and then wake up behind your monitor only to discover you WERE actually playing UT as you slept...
- You drive through town, thinking how cool it would be if someone made an exact replica of it for UT...
- You discover that standing still is no longer a part of your primary functions...
- You seriously consider "Headshot" as an appropriate name for your little boy...
- You suddenly realize that all of the above reasons are based on actual experiences...
- You strafe around corners everywhere you go.
- You walk several steps backward after you sneeze, 'cuz u know that green stuff's gonna explode!
- You just walk over things instead of bending over to pick them up.
- Your wife and kids left u at some point, but you're not exactly sure when...
- You are afraid to look out the window, because of snipers.
- You have an almost irresistable urge to steal the flag from McDonald's.
- When u need to get into the attic, u catch yourself looking for the Translocator instead of the stepladder.
- You reach for your Enforcer and dodge forward out of bed as soon as u "respawn" in the morning
- You burn the music from your favorite maps onto a CD and play it at work to make the withdrawal less painful.
- You can frag anybody/bot with the enforcer.
- You try to buy a Rocket Launcher on Ebay.
- You are reading this list.
- Planet Unreal is your start page.
- Everywhere you go you constantly jump and zig-zag.
- You only date girls whose name is Nikita.
- If u see ANY flag, uget to urge to snatch it, run home like hell and shout "cover me"
- Nobody calls you by your real name anymore.
- You start to wear actual UT clothing.
- You buy a cell phone only because people can no longer reach you due to marathon UT sessions online.
- The beginning of every conversation you have with your roommate is "Hey, watch me kill this guy...."
- You no longer get up to go to the bathroom. (And that doesn't mean you've stopped going, either)
- You are willing to forgo watching The Simpsons to play UT.
- Playing UT is starting to interfere with how much time you can spend in bars.
- You've removed cherished pornography from your hard drive to do a "full install" to squeeze out the few extra FPS.
- You actually buy copies of the game for friends so you can frag them online.
- You actually buy new PCs for friends, so you can buy them the game, so you can frag them online.
- Sex? Just two more flag runs, and after I frag this $@#%! sniper that keeps nailing me...
- You dress in either all blue or all red (and when you see an innocent bystander in the opposite colour you yell "incoming")
- You shoot bottle rockets, u try to "lock on" to birds.
- You get up at 5:30 every morning to play an hour of UT before work (the night before, u usually play 'till 12:00.)
- The next day, when u fall asleep at work, u dream of UT.
- When someone is talking crap, u say "I am the Alpha and the Omega!", and they say "Huh?"
- You say "Roger" instead of "yes".
- You search for secret doors in your closet, hoping to find a shield belt.
- You pretend to carry an impact hammer, and every time you bump into someone, you make a "booomphhhhh" sound with your mouth.
- You do something -- anything -- five times in a row and then yell, "Killing Spree!"
- You walk up and down your street, looking to use your ASMD Combo on anything that moves.
- You practice circle strafing in your living room.
- You complete UT you cut out the trophy on the front of your box and put it in a display cabinet.
- You get lag in real life.
- You only speak in UT taunts.
- You try throwing CDs at someones neck to try and get a headshot.
- Every 15 minutes or so your vision goes blue and the word LOADING appears in front of you.
- You're disappointed when you put your belt on in the morning and it doesn't give you a strange gold electric glow.
- You're disappointed when you put your trainers on and they don't let you jump 30 foot in the air.
- You break into a state of chronic depression when you find that UT keeps crashing!
- You wonder if you can find strange white barrels with blue fluid in to make you twice as healthy!
- You find you look ugly so you try to change your skin.
- You fall off a building and think if you write 'Ghost' or 'God' on a piece of paper everything will be fine.
- You try to turn Autotaunts on in real life so you can speak automatically.
- Every other game in your collection becomes obselete.
- You constantly hear UT music playing in your mind.
- You find the UT HUD has burnt into your monitor screen.
- You walk true a building you say to yourself: Hmm this would be a great DM level.
- You attach a sniper scope to your sunglasses so you can practice your aim outside. (if you ever go outside).
- You frantically clamor for the F9 key when something cool happens in front of you in real life.
- You can do a PERFECT imitation of the announcer, Xan and Male AND Female voices, and quote them often.
- Everytime a plane goes over head you duck around a corner to dodge death by tactical nuke.
- You run around the office looking searching for biospooge ammo to donate to your boss in hopes that you can gain freedom. Slavemaster anyone?
- You order Health Vials at McDonald's instead of Big Macs
- There is a mean butt print in the chair in front of your computer
- You forgot what your family looks like, so you just picture them as UT characters
- You make UT character shapes out of your mash potatoes.
- You make your house in UnrealEd.
- Your neighbors move because they're tired of hearing "DIE BITCH!"
- You're on your third mouse pad and it's only been a week since you got your first one.
- Instead of walking down stairs you jump down and quickly look around.
- You move into a bigger place just to have LAN parties.
- You're at a job interview and all you can think to ask is "Do you play UT?"
- You have a toilet built into your chair in front of your comp so no one takes the flag while you're in the washroom.
- You close your eyes you still see UT playing.
- You grab your right ear when you talk.
- You wish your milk came from Nali War Cows
- You run home from work backwards, to make sure your tail is clear.
- You wake up in the morning you "moo" instead of yawn.
- You survive on your own spit so you dont have to leave your computer.
- You deleted Microsoft Office and McAfree(on your work computer) so UT would fit
- You stole RAM out of Gateway's display computers to run UT
- You wish every game had a "UT" mod
- You think Predator's invisible mode is a copy off of UT Invisibility
- You think Quake 1/2/3's Quad Damage is a copy off of UDamage
- You considered deleting Windows so UT would fit
- You wonder why the police don't carry Impact Hammers instead of stun-guns
- You have smashed serveral keyboards in frustration after losing at UT
- You go to church and say "What a copy off of UT's training map!"
- The UT theme becomes your favorite song
- You write lyrics for every UT song
- You buy the autographed copy of UT on ebay, regardless of cost
- You dress up as the Nali War Cow for Halloween
- You run up to every person you see and SCREAM! MOUHAGA!! MOUHAGA!!
- You assault anyone and everyone that says UT is rubbish, including Lennox Lewis.
- You try to create an emulator for the Palm Pilot so you can take your fragging on the road
- Your desktop shortcut for UT is worn out and fading
- Other shortcuts on your desktop start accumulating dust and cobwebs
- You carry around a flag sticking out of your backpack and is illuminated by neon lights
- Your dog runs around with a rocket launcher strapped to its back
- Your Desktop has 2 icons. Unreal Tournament, and the My Computer icon that has been renamed to "Wouldn't you rather play Unreal Tournament?".
- You work at McDonalds once a week to pay for twinkies, vodka, and to pay your ISP.
- You get fired from that job for saying things like "I am the alpha and the omega, may I take your order?" & "You are obsolete, but would you like to try our chicken finger combo anyway?".
- While hunting for a new job, you put on your resume: ability to circle strife & able to perform shock combo while on the move.
- You consider moving to Utah, so you can have "UT" in your mailing address.
- You try to walk forwards in real life, your middle finger moves to press the W key.
- As above, you push the imaginary mouse forward to look up.
- You look around in a room full of people and wonder exactly how much damage you could do with a full minigun. Or a flak cannon! Yeah...just imagine...they'd all just be mown down.... Anyway....
- After a rocket launcher monster-kill jumpy-spin rocket jump whilst navigating CTF-LavaGiant backwards with 2 health, flag in hand, you realise you are standing up, red-faced, snorting like a bull. You slowly sit down, cap the flag, and try to regain some level of dignity. (Translation: The adrenaline gets to you)
- While walking around (real life again), your imaginary HUD informs you that someone has your flag, and, to the bewilderment of all around, you start searching for them.
- Your hands are in permanent keyboard/mouse shapes.
- You seriously consider writing a Nali/English dictionary. (Now there's a challenge.)
- You set up a match with ten Novice Warcow bots, just to see them go moo.
- You get some clay and a Stanley knife and try to literally become a Skaarj Hybrid. Very painful and ultimately impossible. Do not try.
- The only 2 words in your vocabulary (must have spelled that wrong) are "Die" and "Bitch"
- You occasionally wonder why ur headed for the escalator, instead of just jumping onto the railing, then dropping to the lower level ten feet down.
- You keep wondering, "the architecture in here isn't so complex. Why isn't the framerate dropping?"
- You run up to a bunch of construction workers and ask, "Where's your impact hammers???"
- You strap a WebCam onto a bottle rocket, just to get the feeling of a redeemer
- You tie some scraps of metal to your dog and change his name to Warcow
- Your about to have sex with your girl friend, and you yell, "Im in position!!"
- You look for the T key everytime you want to talk to someone...
- You sell your car just to get that little extra RAM for those little extra FPS...
- Instead of saying "Hi" you say "Qu'pada!" everytime someone greets you...
- You name your bots after you friends so you'll feel like you have a social life.
- You know the meaning of every single clan tag in the world, $GB$,[C1],[Ci],[NBK] etc.
- You try and learn how to stick rocket launchers, shock rifles, mini guns, ammo, a chainsaw, and an impact hammer in your pocket all at the same time, and you just cant get how you can in the game.
- You do the hump everytime something good happens!
- Everytime you respond to anything you say "Roger that!"
- Your refrigerators next to your computer.
- While bar hopping in Georgetown, D.C. you run down an alley convinced there is a domination control point somewhere at the end
- You visit Buckingham palace and wonder where all of the lava went to
- You wonder why NASA even bothers with space suits
- At the public pool you repeatedly dive into the deep end to look for the redeemer that you *know* is down there
- You downloaded so many maps, your UT directory takes up 10GB.
- You have made all the sounds from UT into wav files and put them on your work laptop, so every time you make a sale your laptop squawks MONSTER KILL
- You try to explain to someone about that "feeling of running into base with the flag" and they look at you like you're smoking crack
- You avoid recreational drug use, since you'd hate for it to "affect your reflexes"
- Your friends ask you to go camping with them and you get offended that they'd think you'd do something like that
- You start a multiplayer game so "the bots can have some excercise"
- Your 1 1/2 year old daughter smiles at things, u automatically say ur one and only taunt: "You like that?"
- Your History teacher mentions Operation Overlord you have flashbacks!
- You're walking down your college campus and start imagining possible places where a redeemer or a shield belt may be hidden or weather or not they are accessible by jump boots.
- You play UT to actually relieve stress.
- You forget how to play "politics" at work and only wish you could Insta-Gib.
- You forget you really can't jump 20 feet.
- ...and once you have jumped you forget you can't steer.
- Real life doesn't seem as real as UT
- The server admin is your best friend
- Your resume starts off with "excellent teamworker, ranked 153 Quarterly CTF."
- ...and ends with "excellent problem solver, when given the proper resources (redeemer)."
- You pull off the name tag from your office door and replace it with your UT nickname
You know when you've been playing too much UT when...
- Every time someone dies in a movie you hear the announcer saying "head shot", or "monster kill".
- Every where you go you think to yourself, "That would be a great sniper position."
- At work you tell your boss "I've got your back"
- People on the street feign dead in front of you.
- You smell like the box UT came in.
- Always find yourself engaging according to operational parameters.
- The cables for your monitor, keyboard and mouse reach all the way to the bathroom..
- You have erotic dreams of Nakita in her tight little battle dress...
- You re-live your latest matches in your dreams, and then wake up behind your monitor only to discover you WERE actually playing UT as you slept...
- You drive through town, thinking how cool it would be if someone made an exact replica of it for UT...
- You discover that standing still is no longer a part of your primary functions...
- You seriously consider "Headshot" as an appropriate name for your little boy...
- You suddenly realize that all of the above reasons are based on actual experiences...
- You strafe around corners everywhere you go.
- You walk several steps backward after you sneeze, 'cuz u know that green stuff's gonna explode!
- You just walk over things instead of bending over to pick them up.
- Your wife and kids left u at some point, but you're not exactly sure when...
- You are afraid to look out the window, because of snipers.
- You have an almost irresistable urge to steal the flag from McDonald's.
- When u need to get into the attic, u catch yourself looking for the Translocator instead of the stepladder.
- You reach for your Enforcer and dodge forward out of bed as soon as u "respawn" in the morning
- You burn the music from your favorite maps onto a CD and play it at work to make the withdrawal less painful.
- You can frag anybody/bot with the enforcer.
- You try to buy a Rocket Launcher on Ebay.
- You are reading this list.
- Planet Unreal is your start page.
- Everywhere you go you constantly jump and zig-zag.
- You only date girls whose name is Nikita.
- If u see ANY flag, uget to urge to snatch it, run home like hell and shout "cover me"
- Nobody calls you by your real name anymore.
- You start to wear actual UT clothing.
- You buy a cell phone only because people can no longer reach you due to marathon UT sessions online.
- The beginning of every conversation you have with your roommate is "Hey, watch me kill this guy...."
- You no longer get up to go to the bathroom. (And that doesn't mean you've stopped going, either)
- You are willing to forgo watching The Simpsons to play UT.
- Playing UT is starting to interfere with how much time you can spend in bars.
- You've removed cherished pornography from your hard drive to do a "full install" to squeeze out the few extra FPS.
- You actually buy copies of the game for friends so you can frag them online.
- You actually buy new PCs for friends, so you can buy them the game, so you can frag them online.
- Sex? Just two more flag runs, and after I frag this $@#%! sniper that keeps nailing me...
- You dress in either all blue or all red (and when you see an innocent bystander in the opposite colour you yell "incoming")
- You shoot bottle rockets, u try to "lock on" to birds.
- You get up at 5:30 every morning to play an hour of UT before work (the night before, u usually play 'till 12:00.)
- The next day, when u fall asleep at work, u dream of UT.
- When someone is talking crap, u say "I am the Alpha and the Omega!", and they say "Huh?"
- You say "Roger" instead of "yes".
- You search for secret doors in your closet, hoping to find a shield belt.
- You pretend to carry an impact hammer, and every time you bump into someone, you make a "booomphhhhh" sound with your mouth.
- You do something -- anything -- five times in a row and then yell, "Killing Spree!"
- You walk up and down your street, looking to use your ASMD Combo on anything that moves.
- You practice circle strafing in your living room.
- You complete UT you cut out the trophy on the front of your box and put it in a display cabinet.
- You get lag in real life.
- You only speak in UT taunts.
- You try throwing CDs at someones neck to try and get a headshot.
- Every 15 minutes or so your vision goes blue and the word LOADING appears in front of you.
- You're disappointed when you put your belt on in the morning and it doesn't give you a strange gold electric glow.
- You're disappointed when you put your trainers on and they don't let you jump 30 foot in the air.
- You break into a state of chronic depression when you find that UT keeps crashing!
- You wonder if you can find strange white barrels with blue fluid in to make you twice as healthy!
- You find you look ugly so you try to change your skin.
- You fall off a building and think if you write 'Ghost' or 'God' on a piece of paper everything will be fine.
- You try to turn Autotaunts on in real life so you can speak automatically.
- Every other game in your collection becomes obselete.
- You constantly hear UT music playing in your mind.
- You find the UT HUD has burnt into your monitor screen.
- You walk true a building you say to yourself: Hmm this would be a great DM level.
- You attach a sniper scope to your sunglasses so you can practice your aim outside. (if you ever go outside).
- You frantically clamor for the F9 key when something cool happens in front of you in real life.
- You can do a PERFECT imitation of the announcer, Xan and Male AND Female voices, and quote them often.
- Everytime a plane goes over head you duck around a corner to dodge death by tactical nuke.
- You run around the office looking searching for biospooge ammo to donate to your boss in hopes that you can gain freedom. Slavemaster anyone?
- You order Health Vials at McDonald's instead of Big Macs
- There is a mean butt print in the chair in front of your computer
- You forgot what your family looks like, so you just picture them as UT characters
- You make UT character shapes out of your mash potatoes.
- You make your house in UnrealEd.
- Your neighbors move because they're tired of hearing "DIE BITCH!"
- You're on your third mouse pad and it's only been a week since you got your first one.
- Instead of walking down stairs you jump down and quickly look around.
- You move into a bigger place just to have LAN parties.
- You're at a job interview and all you can think to ask is "Do you play UT?"
- You have a toilet built into your chair in front of your comp so no one takes the flag while you're in the washroom.
- You close your eyes you still see UT playing.
- You grab your right ear when you talk.
- You wish your milk came from Nali War Cows
- You run home from work backwards, to make sure your tail is clear.
- You wake up in the morning you "moo" instead of yawn.
- You survive on your own spit so you dont have to leave your computer.
- You deleted Microsoft Office and McAfree(on your work computer) so UT would fit
- You stole RAM out of Gateway's display computers to run UT
- You wish every game had a "UT" mod
- You think Predator's invisible mode is a copy off of UT Invisibility
- You think Quake 1/2/3's Quad Damage is a copy off of UDamage
- You considered deleting Windows so UT would fit
- You wonder why the police don't carry Impact Hammers instead of stun-guns
- You have smashed serveral keyboards in frustration after losing at UT
- You go to church and say "What a copy off of UT's training map!"
- The UT theme becomes your favorite song
- You write lyrics for every UT song
- You buy the autographed copy of UT on ebay, regardless of cost
- You dress up as the Nali War Cow for Halloween
- You run up to every person you see and SCREAM! MOUHAGA!! MOUHAGA!!
- You assault anyone and everyone that says UT is rubbish, including Lennox Lewis.
- You try to create an emulator for the Palm Pilot so you can take your fragging on the road
- Your desktop shortcut for UT is worn out and fading
- Other shortcuts on your desktop start accumulating dust and cobwebs
- You carry around a flag sticking out of your backpack and is illuminated by neon lights
- Your dog runs around with a rocket launcher strapped to its back
- Your Desktop has 2 icons. Unreal Tournament, and the My Computer icon that has been renamed to "Wouldn't you rather play Unreal Tournament?".
- You work at McDonalds once a week to pay for twinkies, vodka, and to pay your ISP.
- You get fired from that job for saying things like "I am the alpha and the omega, may I take your order?" & "You are obsolete, but would you like to try our chicken finger combo anyway?".
- While hunting for a new job, you put on your resume: ability to circle strife & able to perform shock combo while on the move.
- You consider moving to Utah, so you can have "UT" in your mailing address.
- You try to walk forwards in real life, your middle finger moves to press the W key.
- As above, you push the imaginary mouse forward to look up.
- You look around in a room full of people and wonder exactly how much damage you could do with a full minigun. Or a flak cannon! Yeah...just imagine...they'd all just be mown down.... Anyway....
- After a rocket launcher monster-kill jumpy-spin rocket jump whilst navigating CTF-LavaGiant backwards with 2 health, flag in hand, you realise you are standing up, red-faced, snorting like a bull. You slowly sit down, cap the flag, and try to regain some level of dignity. (Translation: The adrenaline gets to you)
- While walking around (real life again), your imaginary HUD informs you that someone has your flag, and, to the bewilderment of all around, you start searching for them.
- Your hands are in permanent keyboard/mouse shapes.
- You seriously consider writing a Nali/English dictionary. (Now there's a challenge.)
- You set up a match with ten Novice Warcow bots, just to see them go moo.
- You get some clay and a Stanley knife and try to literally become a Skaarj Hybrid. Very painful and ultimately impossible. Do not try.
- The only 2 words in your vocabulary (must have spelled that wrong) are "Die" and "Bitch"
- You occasionally wonder why ur headed for the escalator, instead of just jumping onto the railing, then dropping to the lower level ten feet down.
- You keep wondering, "the architecture in here isn't so complex. Why isn't the framerate dropping?"
- You run up to a bunch of construction workers and ask, "Where's your impact hammers???"
- You strap a WebCam onto a bottle rocket, just to get the feeling of a redeemer
- You tie some scraps of metal to your dog and change his name to Warcow
- Your about to have sex with your girl friend, and you yell, "Im in position!!"
- You look for the T key everytime you want to talk to someone...
- You sell your car just to get that little extra RAM for those little extra FPS...
- Instead of saying "Hi" you say "Qu'pada!" everytime someone greets you...
- You name your bots after you friends so you'll feel like you have a social life.
- You know the meaning of every single clan tag in the world, $GB$,[C1],[Ci],[NBK] etc.
- You try and learn how to stick rocket launchers, shock rifles, mini guns, ammo, a chainsaw, and an impact hammer in your pocket all at the same time, and you just cant get how you can in the game.
- You do the hump everytime something good happens!
- Everytime you respond to anything you say "Roger that!"
- Your refrigerators next to your computer.
- While bar hopping in Georgetown, D.C. you run down an alley convinced there is a domination control point somewhere at the end
- You visit Buckingham palace and wonder where all of the lava went to
- You wonder why NASA even bothers with space suits
- At the public pool you repeatedly dive into the deep end to look for the redeemer that you *know* is down there
- You downloaded so many maps, your UT directory takes up 10GB.
- You have made all the sounds from UT into wav files and put them on your work laptop, so every time you make a sale your laptop squawks MONSTER KILL
- You try to explain to someone about that "feeling of running into base with the flag" and they look at you like you're smoking crack
- You avoid recreational drug use, since you'd hate for it to "affect your reflexes"
- Your friends ask you to go camping with them and you get offended that they'd think you'd do something like that
- You start a multiplayer game so "the bots can have some excercise"
- Your 1 1/2 year old daughter smiles at things, u automatically say ur one and only taunt: "You like that?"
- Your History teacher mentions Operation Overlord you have flashbacks!
- You're walking down your college campus and start imagining possible places where a redeemer or a shield belt may be hidden or weather or not they are accessible by jump boots.
- You play UT to actually relieve stress.
- You forget how to play "politics" at work and only wish you could Insta-Gib.
- You forget you really can't jump 20 feet.
- ...and once you have jumped you forget you can't steer.
- Real life doesn't seem as real as UT
- The server admin is your best friend
- Your resume starts off with "excellent teamworker, ranked 153 Quarterly CTF."
- ...and ends with "excellent problem solver, when given the proper resources (redeemer)."
- You pull off the name tag from your office door and replace it with your UT nickname
hehe
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