This is some funny sh*t....

[Muad'Dib]

Just reading an email my dad forwarded to me and thought I'd post it. I haven't seen it before, so sorry if you have....

Can't Explain...

A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man came in
and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day,
getting drunk?" the farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you
just can't explain."

"So what happened that's so horrible?" the man asked as he sat down next to
the farmer.

"Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just
as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the
bucket."

"Okay" said the man, "but that's not so bad." Some things you just can't
explain," the farmer replied. "So what happened then?" the man asked. The
farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left."

"And then?"

"Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket
full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket," The man laughed
and said, "Again?" The farmer replied, "Some things you just can't
explain." "So, what did you do then?" the man asked.

"I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right."

"And then?"

"Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the
bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail." "Hmmm,"
the man said and nodded his head. "Some things you just can't explain," the
farmer said.

"So, what did you do?" the man asked.

"Well" the farmer said, "I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt
and tied her tail to the rafter. At that moment, my pants fell down and my
wife walked in...Some things you just can't explain.


Sorry about the ugly form too (at least if it come out ugly)....

Dimo

[Muad'Dib]

hehe, this one is good too....

A blond woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business
> has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate
>
> that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray...
> "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some
> money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."
> Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
> Brandi again prays... "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my
> business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lotto night
> comes and Brandi still has no luck.
> Once again, she prays..."My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my
>
> business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often
>
> ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE
> just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in
> order."
> Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and
> Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself:
> "Brandi, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket."

This one is fugly. sorry, I just cut/paste.

"Domi...."