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some Tech support horror stories
Well, everyone here has some idea what those are, basically i found this web site while doing searching for school stuff, and i found this link: http://www.techtales.com/ttales0499.html
i haven't and likely wont read them all, but there are some real funny ones in there that i have read. Have a look and let me know what you think...i'll include one to whet your appetites...its an april fools call, but here it is:
added
this is another good one, actually a few, but have a look see
[This message has been edited by Frankfurt (edited 13 June 2000).]
i haven't and likely wont read them all, but there are some real funny ones in there that i have read. Have a look and let me know what you think...i'll include one to whet your appetites...its an april fools call, but here it is:
Working for an ISP nets you some interesting stories, but this one just blows me away.
Our tech support deparment was pleasantly surprised during this April 1st. We had an unusually low volume of calls on a day of the week that usually is pretty busy. We sat around the office wondering what was going on when one of our customer service reps comes in and says she just got a very odd call.
A customer had called in and asked if she could use the Internet today. Our rep asks why, the customer replies that she'd heard on the radio that the Internet was being shut down for maintenance.
Sometimes you just wanna scream....
Our tech support deparment was pleasantly surprised during this April 1st. We had an unusually low volume of calls on a day of the week that usually is pretty busy. We sat around the office wondering what was going on when one of our customer service reps comes in and says she just got a very odd call.
A customer had called in and asked if she could use the Internet today. Our rep asks why, the customer replies that she'd heard on the radio that the Internet was being shut down for maintenance.
Sometimes you just wanna scream....
this is another good one, actually a few, but have a look see
[/b]Operating a Computer Under The Influence...[/b]
People should not be allowed to use a computer when drunk, blitzed, stoned, stupid (and not under any influence), etc..
You may be wondering why I say this. As a tech for the big COMPuter store in the USA, I get lots of strange calls. Today I got an entire sequence of them..
[Normal greeting garbage omitted]
Call 1:
Me: And what can I do for you today?
User: The Internet is broken!!!
M: Um... (rolling eyes) Alright, could you please clarify that?
U: The internet is broken! I double clicked on Browse the Internet, and it gave me an error!!! I demand that you fix it!!!
M: Is your computer plugged into the telephone line?
U: It needs a telephone line?
Turns out that the l/user had never hooked up the machine to the telephone line. Let alone setting up the necessary account with an ISP, etc.
That wasn't all that bad compared to the next call.
Call 2:
M: What can I do for you, sir?
U: (blearily) Uhh... my Mac can't print.
M: OK, what kind of Mac, and what type of printer?
U: (more blearily) Uhhhmmmmm it's a... a.... a... a..... iMac. And it's an Epshun Sev-sev-seven-fort..y.
M: Have you installed the drivers for the printer?
(brief exchange about what exactly drivers are)
M: OK, please get out the Software Install CD that came with your iMac.
U: Ohhhkay.. I gotta reach over and get it.....
(THUD) (SNORE)
M: Sir? Sir? Are you okay?
U: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
M: Sir?
U: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........
At this point I disconnected the call. I heard back from him later, though, through another tech. It seems he'd had way too many that night, tried to get his iMac fixed, and when reaching for the CD's had passed out.
Call 3:
M: What seems to be the problem, sir?
U: My iMac screen is all messed up! It looks like someone spilled a paint set all over the screen.
Now some iMacs had a video problem, so I started walking him through the troubleshooting procedures to eliminate a software problem. As I proceeded, I noticed these descriptions of his iMac...
U: My iMac is such a pretty green color.
U: I like this blue iMac.
Hmm, say I, light finally dawning. Could be just that he has a blue-green (Bondi!) iMac and can't decide what color it is. I decide to run a test on him a couple of minutes later...
M: And what color is your iMac, sir?
U: It's a cool orange.
M: (!!!!) Alright, sir, you can stop what you're doing. What's going on is perfectly normal and the colors will go away in a few hours. If they don't, turn that iMac off and come back tomorrow afternoon. It should be OK by then.
U: You sure, man?
M: (stifling laughter) Yes, I'm sure it'll be okay.
U: OK, thanks man!
(click)
I don't know what he was on, but it appeared to be some good stuff.
And the capper, so far today:
Call 4:
M: And what's the problem today?
U: My iMac has a blank screen.
M: Have you plugged it in?
U: I thought this thing ran off a battery!!!! It even shows you how to replace the thing in the manual.
Of course, what he was referring to was the clock battery. Took 20 minutes to explain that that was not the main power source for the machine.
People should not be allowed to use a computer when drunk, blitzed, stoned, stupid (and not under any influence), etc..
You may be wondering why I say this. As a tech for the big COMPuter store in the USA, I get lots of strange calls. Today I got an entire sequence of them..
[Normal greeting garbage omitted]
Call 1:
Me: And what can I do for you today?
User: The Internet is broken!!!
M: Um... (rolling eyes) Alright, could you please clarify that?
U: The internet is broken! I double clicked on Browse the Internet, and it gave me an error!!! I demand that you fix it!!!
M: Is your computer plugged into the telephone line?
U: It needs a telephone line?
Turns out that the l/user had never hooked up the machine to the telephone line. Let alone setting up the necessary account with an ISP, etc.
That wasn't all that bad compared to the next call.
Call 2:
M: What can I do for you, sir?
U: (blearily) Uhh... my Mac can't print.
M: OK, what kind of Mac, and what type of printer?
U: (more blearily) Uhhhmmmmm it's a... a.... a... a..... iMac. And it's an Epshun Sev-sev-seven-fort..y.
M: Have you installed the drivers for the printer?
(brief exchange about what exactly drivers are)
M: OK, please get out the Software Install CD that came with your iMac.
U: Ohhhkay.. I gotta reach over and get it.....
(THUD) (SNORE)
M: Sir? Sir? Are you okay?
U: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
M: Sir?
U: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........
At this point I disconnected the call. I heard back from him later, though, through another tech. It seems he'd had way too many that night, tried to get his iMac fixed, and when reaching for the CD's had passed out.
Call 3:
M: What seems to be the problem, sir?
U: My iMac screen is all messed up! It looks like someone spilled a paint set all over the screen.
Now some iMacs had a video problem, so I started walking him through the troubleshooting procedures to eliminate a software problem. As I proceeded, I noticed these descriptions of his iMac...
U: My iMac is such a pretty green color.
U: I like this blue iMac.
Hmm, say I, light finally dawning. Could be just that he has a blue-green (Bondi!) iMac and can't decide what color it is. I decide to run a test on him a couple of minutes later...
M: And what color is your iMac, sir?
U: It's a cool orange.
M: (!!!!) Alright, sir, you can stop what you're doing. What's going on is perfectly normal and the colors will go away in a few hours. If they don't, turn that iMac off and come back tomorrow afternoon. It should be OK by then.
U: You sure, man?
M: (stifling laughter) Yes, I'm sure it'll be okay.
U: OK, thanks man!
(click)
I don't know what he was on, but it appeared to be some good stuff.
And the capper, so far today:
Call 4:
M: And what's the problem today?
U: My iMac has a blank screen.
M: Have you plugged it in?
U: I thought this thing ran off a battery!!!! It even shows you how to replace the thing in the manual.
Of course, what he was referring to was the clock battery. Took 20 minutes to explain that that was not the main power source for the machine.
[This message has been edited by Frankfurt (edited 13 June 2000).]
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