Tweet
Church Bulletin Bloopers
C H U R C H B U L L E T I N B L O O P E R S
* Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
* Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
* Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
* Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
* "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
* The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
* The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water" The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"
* Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
* Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
* The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing
"Break Forth into Joy."
* Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.
* Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
* Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
* The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
* Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
* Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
* The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
* Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M.-prayer and medication to follow.
* The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
* This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
* Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
* The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
* Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
* The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
* Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Joel
* Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
* Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
* Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
* Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
* "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
* The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
* The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water" The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"
* Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
* Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
* The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing
"Break Forth into Joy."
* Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.
* Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
* Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
* The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
* Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
* Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
* The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
* Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M.-prayer and medication to follow.
* The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
* This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
* Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
* The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
* Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
* The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
* Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Joel
Comment