Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Strange ways to die.

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Strange ways to die.

    1 - Alex Mijtus, 36 years old, is killed by his wife, armed with a 20 inch long vibrator. Mrs Mijtus had enough of her husband's strange sex practices and one night during a prolonged session of fun she snapped, pushing all 20 inches of the vibrator into Alex's anus until it ruptured several internal organs and caused severe bleeding.

    2 - Debby Mills-Newbroughton, 99 years old, was killed as she crossed the road. She was to turn 100 the next day, but crossing the road with her daughter to go to her own birthday party her wheel chair was hit by the truck delivering her birthday cake.

    3 - Peter Stone, 42 years old, is murdered by his 8 year old daughter, who he had just sent to her room with no dinner. Young Samantha Stone felt that if she couldn't have dinner no one should, and she promptly inserted 72 rat poison tablets into her fathers coffee as he prepared dinner. The victim took one sip and promptly collapsed. Samantha Stone was given a suspended sentence as the judge felt she didn't realize what she was doing, until she tried to poison her mother using the same method one month later.

    4 - David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girl friend after he attempted to have his way with her. His unwelcome advance was met with a double-barreled shotgun. Charla's (the girlfriends') father had given it to her an hour before the date started, just in case.

    5 - Javier Halos, 27 years old, was killed by his landlord for failing to pay his rent for 8 years. The landlord, Kirk Weston, clubbed the victim to death with a toilet seat after he realized just how long it had been since Mr Halos paid his rent.

    6 - Megan Fry, 44 years old, is killed by 14 state troopers after she wandered onto a live firing, fake town, simulation. Seeing all the troopers walking slowly down the street Megan Fry had jumped out in front of them and yelled Boo!. The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots between them, over 40 of them hitting the target. She just looked like a very real looking target, one of the troopers stated in his report.

    7 - Julia Smeeth, 20 years old, was killed by her brother Michael because she talked on the phone too long, Michael clubbed his sister to death with a cordless phone, then stabbed her several times with the broken aerial.

    8 - Helena Simms, Wife to the famous American nuclear scientist Harold Simms was killed by her husband after she had an affair with the neighbor. Over a period of 3 months Harold substituted Helena's eye shadow with a Uranium composite that was highly radioactive, until she died of radiation poisoning. Although she suffered many symptoms, including total hair loss, welts, blindness, extreme nausea and even had an ear lobe drop off, the victim never attended a doctor's surgery or hospital for a check up.

    9 - Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two timing wife by loading her car with Trintynitrate explosive (similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was driving was filled with 750 kgs of explosive, forming a force twice as powerful as the Oklahoma Bombing. The explosion was heard by several persons some up to 14 kilometers away. No trace of the car or the victim were ever found, only a 55 meter deep crater, and 500m of missing road.

    10 - Patty Winter, 35 years old, was killed by her neighbor in the early hours of a Sunday morning. Her neighbor, Falt Hame, for years had a mounted F6 phantom jet engine in his rear yard. He would fire the jet engine, aimed at an empty block at the back of his property. Patty Winter would constantly complain to the local sheriff's officers about the noise and the potential risk of fire. Mr Hame was served with a notice to remove the engine immediately. Not liking this he invited Miss Winter over for a cup of coffee and a chat about the whole situation. What Winter didn't know was that he had changed the position of the engine, as she walked into the yard he activated it, hitting her with a blast of 5,000 degrees, killing her instantly, and forever burning her outline into the driveway.

    11 - Michael Lewis, angry at his gay boyfriend, used the movie, Die Hard With a Vengeance as inspiration. He drugged his boyfriend, Tony Berry, into an almost catatonic state, then dressed him only in a double sided white board that read Death to all Niggers! on one side, and God Loves the KKK. On the other. Lewis then drove the victim to downtown Harlem and dropped him off. Two minutes later Berry was deceased.

    12 - Conrad Middleton, 26 years old, was killed by his twin brother Brian after a disagreement over who should take the family home after their parents' passed away. Conrad had a nasal problem, and had no sense of smell. After the argument Brian stormed out of the house, then snuck back later, and turned on the 3 gas taps in the house, filling it with gas. He then left out a box of cigars, a lighter and a note saying, Sorry for the spree, have a puff on me, Brian. Conrad promptly lit a cigar,destroying the house, and himself in the process

    Jord.
    Last edited by Jorden; 11 December 2001, 09:14.
    Jordâ„¢

  • #2
    Re: Strange ways to die.

    Originally posted by Jorden
    6 - Megan Fry, 44 years old, is killed by 14 state troopers after she wandered onto a live firing, fake town, simulation. Seeing all the troopers walking slowly down the street Megan Fry had jumped out in front of them and yelled Boo!. The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots between them, over 40 of them hitting the target. She just looked like a very real looking target, one of the troopers stated in his report.
    Jord.
    I think that one should be a contender for the Darwin Awards.
    Athlon XP-64/3200, 1gb PC3200, 512mb Radeon X1950Pro AGP, Dell 2005fwp, Logitech G5, IBM model M.

    Comment


    • #3
      I once read a similar message about an Iranian terrorist. He had sent a letterbomb to somebody in a vicious terrorist attack. However, he misspelled the address, and the letter was returned to sender. Not recongnizing it, the terrorist opened the letter and....


      Jörg

      edited for spelling...
      pixar
      Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow. (James Dean)

      Comment


      • #4
        Are any of these stories true?
        Titanium is the new bling!
        (you heard from me first!)

        Comment


        • #5
          10. Is there such a thing as an F6? The F-4 was the Phantom. Let's not forget how easy it is to purchase jet fuel.

          12. I saw this (only with cigarettes) on the Simpsons.

          b
          Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? But why put off until tomorrow what you can put off altogether?

          Comment


          • #6
            I call shenanigans. The only reference I can find to this stuff is on joke pages. And it goes from the "FBI Top 10 Homicides" to the "FBI Top 20 Homicides". I find neither obituaries, nor search engine results from FBI.gov I also find it hard to believe that #9 would happen without that explosion being mentioned in the news.
            Gigabyte P35-DS3L with a Q6600, 2GB Kingston HyperX (after *3* bad pairs of Crucial Ballistix 1066), Galaxy 8800GT 512MB, SB X-Fi, some drives, and a Dell 2005fpw. Running WinXP.

            Comment


            • #7
              Strong overlap here: http://www.maym.freeserve.co.uk/fbitop20.htm
              Gigabyte P35-DS3L with a Q6600, 2GB Kingston HyperX (after *3* bad pairs of Crucial Ballistix 1066), Galaxy 8800GT 512MB, SB X-Fi, some drives, and a Dell 2005fpw. Running WinXP.

              Comment


              • #8
                jokes? I call it bad taste :P

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Wombat
                  I call shenanigans. blah blah blah
                  Everybody grab your broom sticks!

                  b
                  Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? But why put off until tomorrow what you can put off altogether?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I think you should roshambo over it...
                    Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine. -- Dr. Perry Cox

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      what a dumbass. you think maybe you'd recognize your own bomb packing, with your writing on it, and all. jeez, how stupid can someone get? these are all good "jokes". but that's it. they aren't anything more!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Darwin Awards report on this string of stories;



                        That said; after spending 25 years around and in emergency departments I can say with certainty that most of these stories are tame. VERY tame.

                        Dr. Mordrid
                        Dr. Mordrid
                        ----------------------------
                        An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

                        I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Look, I just did a copy&paste from another forum. Don't know if any of the stories are true. Even I didn't think they were that funny, so no emoticons anywhere. Just don't try this at home, kids.

                          Jord.
                          Jordâ„¢

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            If I had 750 kg of C4 and wanted to kill my wife, I would use 1 kg to kill her and sell the remaining 749 and buy a plane ticket to Rio. Besides that, don't you think a Ford Taurus would operate rather sluggishly if it were carrying 1650 extra pounds of anything.. if it was even able to move at all? On one of those sites, the number quoted is 750,000 kg of explosive. This is equal to the weight of four large diesel locomotives.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by KvHagedorn
                              If I had 750 kg of C4 and wanted to kill my wife, I would use 1 kg to kill her and sell the remaining 749 and buy a plane ticket to Rio. Besides that, don't you think a Ford Taurus would operate rather sluggishly if it were carrying 1650 extra pounds of anything.. if it was even able to move at all? On one of those sites, the number quoted is 750,000 kg of explosive. This is equal to the weight of four large diesel locomotives.
                              Sooooooooo......what you're saying is that it's true?

                              b
                              Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? But why put off until tomorrow what you can put off altogether?

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X