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  • #16
    .....the banging on the door was now to loud to ignore, he opened the door and saw.....
    If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

    Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

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    • #17
      ... a rather large contingent of Jehovah's Witnesses. He attempted to slam the door on them, but the leader had already wedged himself inside.

      "Did you know that Jesus will return THIS YEAR?" the leader asked?

      "Yeah, just like he returned in 1978, 1984, 1992, 1999, 2000, and 2001. Get lost, nutjobs!" Mike snarled, shoving the leader into the rest of the pack like a bowling ball into the pins. He slammed the door shut and locked it, only to hear the knocking begin anew.

      "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO..." he began, as he opened the door...

      ...
      The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

      I'm the least you could do
      If only life were as easy as you
      I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
      If only life were as easy as you
      I would still get screwed

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      • #18
        "...oh, sorry, Reverand Mother, I thought you were..."
        FT.

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        • #19
          drunk as a monk when you
          Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

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          • #20
            ...but his sentence was turned into a scream of pain as the extreme heat of sudden flames burned his skin.
            When he opened his eyes, he could not believe them. There, right in front of him, stood an enormous creature. Its muscular body was covered in red scalps, but although its head had some features of a goat it was definitely human. Running between its legs Mike could see a long, pointy tail and in its left hand it carried a pitchfork very much resembling the logo of Quake 3.
            "HELLO, AND PARDON THE FLAMES, MY PESTERENT PARTNERS AND THAT SILLY DISGUISE", it said, attempting what was apparantly meant as a smile. The voice was so loud that it made Mike's ears ring. "I AM HERE TO"...
            Last edited by Tempest; 18 April 2002, 04:12.

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            • #21
              switch your regular brand coffee to Folger's crystals so just......
              A Smith & Wesson beats Four Aces

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              • #22
                The cat replied, YOU SON OF A BITCH...
                #1 DRILL SERGEANT PICK-UP LINE

                "You make me hornier before 9 AM than most
                people do all day!"

                Comment


                • #23
                  ....Why are you leaving me here to goto San Franisco Tommorow??? the cat purred....
                  Why is it called tourist season, if we can't shoot at them?

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                  • #24
                    Ok I can honestly say that this thread went downhill.

                    No offense, but if English ain't your first language, maybe y'all shouldn't ...

                    Nah, nevermind. I'll just try to get it back on track.

                    ---------------------------------

                    Steve sat bolt upright in his bed.

                    "MY GOD, THE COMPUTER IS ON FIRE!" he thought, but it just wasn't so.

                    "Wait, I don't HAVE a cat! And who the hell was this Mike person, anyway?"

                    He rolled over and went back to sleep... but from under the bed there was a soft "meow!", and the computer began to smoke...

                    ------------------------------------
                    The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

                    I'm the least you could do
                    If only life were as easy as you
                    I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
                    If only life were as easy as you
                    I would still get screwed

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      .....this time Steve Bolted out of his bed Yanked the power cord out of the wall.
                      Kicked the cat who was clawing on his bed in the ass. Mumbled something about showing a certin Belinea monitor where the sun never shines on somebody and fell asleap. Next morning he was woken by the cat ......
                      If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

                      Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        loudly meowing, and whe he looked to the door he saw a pink llama standing there, saying:.....
                        But we named the *dog* Indiana...
                        My System
                        2nd System (not for Windows lovers )
                        German ATI-forum

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                        • #27
                          "All your Parhelias are belong to us!", when he suddenly realised that he suffered the same dream every morning prior to

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                          • #28
                            washing his underoos in his left over milk from his bowl of cheerios...
                            #1 DRILL SERGEANT PICK-UP LINE

                            "You make me hornier before 9 AM than most
                            people do all day!"

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              ...Suddenly, a massive power failure hit and turned off the Matrix. Mike woke up finding himself...
                              “Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out”
                              –The Light Fantastic, Terry Pratchett

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                              • #30
                                Lying in a gewy (spelling???) liquid. He hardly woke up and saw the pink llama was heading toward him. He looked around him and saw billions of cocoons filled with the same liquid, and other pink llamas flying around. He realized his head was wired to....
                                System : ASUS A8N SLI premium, Athlon 64X2 3800+, 2Gb, T7K500 320Gb SATAII, T7K250 250Gb SATAII, T7K250 250Gb ATA133, Nec ND-3520, Plextor PX130A, SB Audigy 2, Sapphire Radeon X800 GTO, 24" Dell 2407WFP.

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