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A young boy comes home and asks his father to explain the difference between
"theoretically" and "realistically."
The father says "Well, go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert
Redford for 1 million dollars."
The boy asks, and his mother says, "Don't tell your father, but yes, I would
do it."
The boy, still confused, asks his father again. The father tells him, "Now
go ask your older sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million
dollars."
The boy asks and his sister says, "Of course I would!"
The boy comes back to his father and says "I think I understand."
So the father asks him to explain it. The boy says "Well... theoretically,
we're sitting on 2 million dollars, realistically, we're living with a
couple of whores."
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A guy wakes up one morning and finds a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book and finds a gorilla removal service. When he asks if they can remove the gorilla they ask, Is it male or a female? Male he replies. Oh yeah, we can do it. I'll be right there, he states. An hour later, the service guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some instructions."I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls out of the tree.When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself, allowing you to put the handcuffs on him". The man asks "what do I do with the shotgun"? The service guy replies, "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla does, shoot the Chihuahua.
"theoretically" and "realistically."
The father says "Well, go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert
Redford for 1 million dollars."
The boy asks, and his mother says, "Don't tell your father, but yes, I would
do it."
The boy, still confused, asks his father again. The father tells him, "Now
go ask your older sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million
dollars."
The boy asks and his sister says, "Of course I would!"
The boy comes back to his father and says "I think I understand."
So the father asks him to explain it. The boy says "Well... theoretically,
we're sitting on 2 million dollars, realistically, we're living with a
couple of whores."
**********************
A guy wakes up one morning and finds a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book and finds a gorilla removal service. When he asks if they can remove the gorilla they ask, Is it male or a female? Male he replies. Oh yeah, we can do it. I'll be right there, he states. An hour later, the service guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some instructions."I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls out of the tree.When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself, allowing you to put the handcuffs on him". The man asks "what do I do with the shotgun"? The service guy replies, "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla does, shoot the Chihuahua.
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