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hahaha this is sooooooofeckin funny.....
here is an example..
Big Brother!
Day 1 - gabs admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of charlotte. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, amy is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although andy later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. rick creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. liz hits him with a spoon.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of white house out of mushrooms. After much persuasion by rick , they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the white house task is well under way. However havoc ensues when andy , who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the mushrooms. liz is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the white house task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when andy farts and blows white house over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. charlotte cries.
6 - rick gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, charlotte admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a spoon. gabs says he never wears condoms because they make his penis sore and rick agrees. amy goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. andy sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up rick .
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. gabs goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. liz and charlotte are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for gabs.
9 - liz and charlotte are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. amy sings them a song - baby one more time - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote charlotte out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. charlotte leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with charlotte's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. amy has to make do without the cucumber she requested. liz is visibly depressed and is comforted by rick , who tries to touch her on her tits.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of rick touching liz 's tits over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that andy refuses to run because his penis hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. andy finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. liz calls andy a lazy penis.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. gabs tells everyone individually that he thinks liz is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. liz and rick are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for gabs.
16 - The nominations are announced. liz can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. rick is equally stunned and turns to liz for comfort. andy is distraught and confesses to amy that he thinks he is in love with rick . amy says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote rick out of the house. liz says she is gutted and even gives rick a clipping of hair from her tits to prove how much she cares. andy is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. rick leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of liz clipping the hair from her tits. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Chili in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Chili sounds like but andy says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose gabs as the one who must complete the task.
21 - gabs successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Chili but also God Save The Queen, baby one more time and the theme tune to friends. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and gabs tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. andy and amy are nominated.
23 - andy and amy take their nominations well and sit down with gabs and liz to discuss why they voted for them. gabs keeps quiet but liz accuses andy of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred penis before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote amy out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. amy leaves.
25 - gabs becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of gabs's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of elephant dung using only a spoon. gabs is unsure but andy is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, andy breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the elephant incident from his childhood. liz tries to persuade him to stay but gabs sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. andy decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the elephant dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by liz from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. gabs asks liz to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly gabs nominates liz to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does liz .
30 - When the nomination is announced, liz graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that gabs is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. gabs takes his £70,000 and runs away to Chili. Nobody, including liz , ever sees him again. -
*ROFL thats great - have to try it out when I'm awake someday
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