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  • Joke

    A child asks to her mother:
    "Mum, where's gone grandma?"
    And the mother replies:
    "Don't you remember? She has fallen from the window..."
    So the child asks:
    "And where's she now?"
    And the mother:
    "She's in the sky..."
    The children:
    "Shit, what a bounce!!"
    Sat on a pile of deads, I enjoy my oysters.

  • #2
    hehe
    Titanium is the new bling!
    (you heard from me first!)

    Comment


    • #3
      weee... cool... that's a new record

      Comment


      • #4
        Any other jokes/funny things? I'm sooooooo bored... I might even go to bed if nothing happens. it's your mission to prevent this!

        AZ
        There's an Opera in my macbook.

        Comment


        • #5
          You can't ask for jokes now, it's too late in the night and I must translate the one I know in english...
          And, worst of all, it seems I've lost my co-actor Zokes in the mist of who knows where...

          Hey, Zoke, any joke? Are you still alive?
          Sat on a pile of deads, I enjoy my oysters.

          Comment


          • #6
            Sorry guys, I'm on a call.

            Wow I'm at work and i'm actually working, huh! Who would have guessed!
            Titanium is the new bling!
            (you heard from me first!)

            Comment


            • #7
              Az, I hope you have never read (what is the past form of read?) this:




              Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
              order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill
              out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
              questions is not required, but the information will help us to
              develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
              1. [_] Mr.
              [_] Mrs.
              [_] Ms.
              [_] Miss
              [_] Lt.
              [_] Gen.
              [_] Comrade
              [_] Classified
              [_] Other
              First Name:..........................................
              Last Name: .....................................
              Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
              Code Name:...........................................
              Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ...........


              2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
              [_] F-14 Tomcat
              [_] F-15 Eagle
              [_] F-16 Falcon
              [_] F-117A Stealth
              [_] Classified

              3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
              19....... /....... /......


              4. Serial Number: ..................................


              5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
              [_] Received as gift / aid package
              [_] Catalogue / showroom
              [_] Independent arms broker
              [_] Mail order
              [_] Discount store
              [_] Government surplus
              [_] Classified


              6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
              product you have just purchased:
              [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
              [_] Store display
              [_] Espionage
              [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
              [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
              [_] Was attacked by one


              7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
              decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
              [_] Style / appearance
              [_] Speed / manoeuvrability
              [_] Price / value
              [_] Comfort / convenience
              [_] Kickback / bribe
              [_] Recommended by salesperson
              [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
              [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
              [_] Backroom politics
              [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat


              8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
              [_] North America
              [_] Iraq
              [_] Iraq
              [_] Aircraft carrier
              [_] Iraq
              [_] Europe
              [_] Iraq
              [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
              [_] Iraq
              [_] Africa
              [_] Iraq
              [_] Asia / Far East
              [_] Iraq
              [_] Misc. Third World countries
              [_] Iraq
              [_] Classified
              [_] Iraq


              9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to
              purchase in the near future:
              [_] Colour TV
              [_] VCR
              [_] ICBM
              [_] Killer Satellite
              [_] CD Player
              [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
              [_] Space Shuttle
              [_] Home Computer
              [_] Nuclear Weapon


              10. How would you describe yourself or your organisation? (Indicate
              all that apply):
              [_] Communist / Socialist
              [_] Terrorist
              [_] Crazed
              [_] Neutral
              [_] Democratic
              [_] Dictatorship
              [_] Corrupt
              [_] Primitive / Tribal


              11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
              [_] Deficit spending
              [_] Cash
              [_] Suitcases of cocaine
              [_] Oil revenues
              [_] Personal cheque
              [_] Credit card
              [_] Ransom money
              [_] Traveller’s cheque


              12. Your occupation:
              [_] Homemaker
              [_] Sales / marketing
              [_] Revolutionary
              [_] Clerical
              [_] Mercenary
              [_] Tyrant
              [_] Middle management
              [_] Eccentric billionaire
              [_] Defence Minister / General
              [_] Retired
              [_] Student


              13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the
              interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
              participating on a regular basis:
              [_] Golf
              [_] Boating / sailing
              [_] Sabotage
              [_] Running / jogging
              [_] Propaganda / misinformation
              [_] Destabilisation / overthrow
              [_] Default on loans
              [_] Gardening
              [_] Crafts
              [_] Black market / smuggling
              [_] Collectibles / collections
              [_] Watching sports on TV
              [_] Wines
              [_] Interrogation / torture
              [_] Household pets
              [_] Crushing rebellions
              [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
              [_] Fashion clothing
              [_] Border disputes
              [_] Mutually Assured Destruction


              Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
              answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
              serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
              mailings and special offers from other companies, governments ,
              extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for
              answering this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new
              Figuer F213 Thunder Sweepstakes!
              Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
              McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department Military,
              Division

              IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
              addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
              confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons
              with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious
              beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any
              dissemination, distribution or copying
              of this email is not authorised (either explicitly or
              implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless
              word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other
              than
              in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and
              may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of
              this email, although the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let
              me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will
              begratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading
              this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from
              Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around
              yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and
              your pets. If you have received this email in error,
              please add some nutmeg and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for
              40minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing.
              Sat on a pile of deads, I enjoy my oysters.

              Comment


              • #8
                to read (spoken "reed"), read (spoken rad), read (rad)

                This was funny, but it was posted here some weeks ago

                AZ
                There's an Opera in my macbook.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Q: Why are there seperate women parking places?

                  A: To avoid that women crash men's cars when trying to park their cars....
                  Last edited by Indiana; 21 July 2002, 17:09.
                  But we named the *dog* Indiana...
                  My System
                  2nd System (not for Windows lovers )
                  German ATI-forum

                  Comment

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