expensive tiles (not for kiddie winkies)

[Agent31]

An Australian woman was having a shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, her legs slid out, she did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband Jacko.

"Jacko! Jacko!" she yelled. Jacko came running in.

"Jacko, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor" she said.

"Strewth!" Jacko said and tried to pull her up. "You're just too heavy girl. I'll go across the road and get Bluey" (his mate).

They came back and they both tried to pull her up. "No way. We can't do it" Bluey said "Lets try Plan C"

"Plan C?" exclaimed Jacko. "What's that"?

"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under her"

"Spot on" Jacko said. "While your doing that, I'll stay here and play with her t*ts"

"Play with her t*ts"? Bluey said, "Why the hell would you want to do that"?

Jacko replied "Well, I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive"

[Marshmallowman]

and your a censor

[thop]

@MMM: LOL

[Agent31]

lol, only of Lizzie's Avatars

[thop]

so we can expect bright days ahead then i guess

[Gurm]

Reminds me of a "grosser than gross" joke from my childhood:

Q. What's grosser than gross?
A. When a gymnast does a split and sticks to the floor.

Q. What's grosser than that?
A. Prying her up with a crowbar!

- Gurm

[SpiralDragon]

lol.... i ve got a few of those but the tyranslation to english would just loos the meening...

[ZokesPro]

I've never heard a joke like that before!

[Liriel]

Q. What's grosser than gross?
A. Taking a dump in the freezer.

Q. What's grosser than that?
A. Giving your little brother a fudge-icle.

- Gurm

P.S. This identity crisis is getting old. PLUS, I'll never make it to 4000 posts at this rate.

[Greebe]

One from my childhood that I can't remember how it goes exactly anymore, but none the less funny (sick)

Boy A tries to gross out Boy B&C by wiping a green bugger on the wall... only to be topped by Boy B who wipes a bloody green bugger on the wall... only to be outclassed by Boy C who eats them.

[Fat Tone]

Originally posted by Liriel
Q. What's grosser than gross?
A. Taking a dump in the freezer.

That reminds me of a story I was told by someone claiming to be involved:

Some male & female students shared a kitchen in a University Halls of Residence. There was some agro between them, so they boys plotted revenge on the girls: They took the girls tub of margarine, removed the contents, 'curled one out' near the bottom of the tub, and replaced the margarine on top. GROSS!!!
It was several days before the turd was discovered. The story teller didn't admit to any cases of dystentry!

T.

[GNEP]

Greebe - I would have been boy C!

[KRSESQ]

I heard the ultimate definition of gross years ago...

Not sure I dare post it though!

Kevin

[Wombat]

What's gross: 10 babies in a trashcan.
What's grosser: 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

[KRSESQ]

Okay, here goes...






get the kiddies out of the room...






wife not looking?






Gross is being 44th in line for a gang-bang and getting up there and finding out its your sister, and going ahead and doing it anyway.
When you're done you say "gee, that was even better than mom." And she says "I know, that's what dad said."

Sorry.

Kevin