This Is EXACTLY How It Is

[BuddMan]

I ran across this a little while ago and thought it was funny:

Tech Support Woes:

People say dumb things when you ask for their information.

Me: "May I have your username or email address please?"
User: "My username is ----. But my question hasn't got anything to do with that . . ."
I seem to recall that I asked YOU for this information. Assume that even if you don't care about it, I in fact DO need it. Related to this gripe is the one below.

Me: "May I have your username or email address please?"
User: "Huh?"
It's a simple question. The answer isn't that difficult, kids.

Me: "May I have your username or email address please?"
User: "Hello there, how are you?"
I'm great. Now give me your damn information, because I'm not here to do small talk. We can chat at some point later in the call, if we have the time, but I'm not going to listen to a DAMNED thing you say until you give me what I asked for. This goes TRIPLE for you gun-jumping jerks who barely wait for the line to be connected before you launch into a detailed explanation of the problem. Oh, and don't give me a damn "case number". I asked for your username or email address. I didn't even say the word "number" at any point. Don't assume it's going to help anyway.

People say things that make me seriously wonder about their intelligence early on in the call--provided they haven't already proven themselves mentally incompetent by giving one of the above answers within the first ten seconds.

User: "I've been on hold for ! I want you to call me back on my cell phone right now!"
Guess what? I won't. At least not until I've learned what the problem is and done enough work on the system to reach a point where I'll even let you TRY to connect/browse/get mail/whatever. If you take your car to a mechanic, do you insist on making him give you an immediate call to give you a diagnosis when you're standing right there?

User: "Let me tell you, I'm not computer literate" or "I'm real computer stupid."
While the honesty is appreciated, it doesn't inspire confidence. Quit telling me you're computer illiterate. If you WERE computer literate, you'd probably have fixed your own damn problem and we wouldn't have to talk at all. And then I wouldn't get paid. Why do you think techs assume you're computer-savvy anyway? By the way, when I say "double-click", don't ever shriek "Don't use all these technical terms!" You called TECHNICAL support. Pay attention to the terms and you might sound marginally more intelligent in your next call.

Me: "Click on 'Start'--"
User: "Oh, I can't get on the Internet, I only have one phone line."
Where, in that sentence, did I ask you to get connected? WHERE? Just click the ****ing button, okay?!

User: "I can't get my email! I open up the window and it doesn't work!"
Me: "All right, we can check some things on your system. What email program do you use?"
User: "Huh?"
Me: "How do you normally get your email?"
User: "I don't know what you mean."
Me : "What do you click on to get mail?"
User: "Uh . . . I don't know."
Me : "Is there a desktop icon you click to get your mail? What's the name of the icon?"
User: "I don't know! Just fix it! Why can't I get my mail?! I want my mail! I have important (blah blah blah)!"
Considering that you just howled about not being able to receive your email, and obviously stated that you open SOMETHING to get email normally, you'd damned well better be able to tell me what program it is. This same call, in a slightly altered form, hits me for browser and connection problems as well. People, if you don't know what you're using, and aren't willing to listen to me in order to find out what it is, believe me, I won't be able to help you. No matter how much you whine at me or how "important" your precious email/website is.

[RichL]

Just out of interest, have you ever done a customer relations course?

[ZokesPro]

Sadly it is like that. (at least here it is)

You ask a customer for one info and they tell you about something completely different.

I usually ask them for their model and they end up replying stuff like, Pentium system. Then I'm like, ok, is it a desktop or a portable? Then they say, Pentium 4!

It happens far too often. Those who actually give the correct info when asked are few!

[thop]

i think you lack one thing that is important for such a job buddman: patience

[Byock]

Buddman, Your post hits to close to home. I dont know if I should laugh, or cry.


The Chicken

[cjolley]

I work in a government office and besides large projects we have a lot of small applications which we ususaly hand off to our new programmers.
This is what I tell the new programmers...

You will be working on project 'x'.
Go over to their office and ask them about it.
Come back & spend the day getting used to your surroundings.
Try to forget every thing they said.
Go back the next day and talk to them agian.
You will notice that the story has changed.
Try get the gist, but don't pay attention to any details.
Repeat each day for a week......
It will take them three weeks to realy tell you what they want.

The reason for this is that they have forgotten why they do anything.
The programmer has to keep asking questions to eventualy wake the user out of his/her fog and start them realy thinking about why they need to enter that number off of that piece of paper into the box on the screen.

After a few days the new programmers always come back to my office with amazed looks on thier faces and tell me how "every time I go back they tell me something that contridicts something they said the day before!"

We have a little laff and I tell them "Welcome to programming!"

chuck

[Technoid]

And this one:
Fresh from today!

Customer: Hi, I’m here to get my computer…
Me: And What’s the name?
C: stating her name…
Me: Wait a sec!
Me running around reading the names on every ‘puter in the store…
Me: Hm.. I can’t find it, what kind is it?, maker, model etc??
C: I don’t remember, yes I think it was 98 something.
Me: Don’t tell me you are thinking of Windows98?
C: Yes! That’s the name, that’s the brand (looking really happy)
Me thinking: Oh jeez, it really is Friday the thirteen and she is Jason

[thop]

well i think the behaviour of that customer is completely normal technoid. if she knew everything about computers herself she wouldnt come and pay for your service now would she?

[BuddMan]

Heh, what I posted is only a small sample. It gets even worse than that. Anyone run Interstate Explorer recently? And have you ever been asked which way to put a CD in the computer, or ever have a customer try to put a CD into her floppy drive?

[ZokesPro]

Originally posted by BuddMan
Heh, what I posted is only a small sample. It gets even worse than that. Anyone run Interstate Explorer recently? And have you ever been asked which way to put a CD in the computer, or ever have a customer try to put a CD into her floppy drive?

Yes, I have many a times. I know EXACTLY what you mean and I know EXACTLY how you feel.

Ever have someone call in to say that their system is busted only to find out there is a black out? Or ever have someone bitch at you cause they say they aren't computer technicians and all this troubleshooting is YOUR job, while all you want them to do is turn on their system on? I have. And I have patience but these types of questions require far more than patience, they require control. People can afford computers but that's only cause they want to appear smart, when deep down they don't even know what the **** a computer can DO!!! It so sad sometimes.

[Technoid]

thop,
I have lots of customer who do know wich brand, general spec and OS their computer has but still contracts me to fix their problems....

You don't need to be a computer specialist to know the basic things about your computer....

[rugger]

While I can understand how you feel Technoid, I am going to have to side with the large portion of people who don't really know what is happening with computers.

I feel we probably expect far too much from the average user in terms of computer knowledge. It's easy to us to rattle off the parts that make up a computer, and understand how they fit together. To the average user though, a computer is simply an appliance. A complex, unreliable appliance, but still an appliance. And like most appliances, they don't bother to even remember or consider even the most basic of details about it. I don't consider a TV, VCR or Microwave based upon what parts are used to construct it, but by what it does and how well it does it. I couldn't tell you the model numbers or model names to any of the appliances in my house off hand, let alone what devices lurk inside them. Why should we expect average computer users to do the same?

You just need to be patience and guide them slowly. (Imagine having the microwave repair guy instruct you how to diagnose and repair your microwave oven, which you know nothing about, over the phone, after being on hold for 45 minutes )

[Technoid]

Rugger,
I do know the brand of my:
Stove
Fridge
Freezer
TV
VCR
DVD

And If I tried to get a repaired microwave from the repair shop without the reciet and without knowing the brand, they would tell me to beat it!
We were not asking for anything more than the brand!!

It's like a mekanik asking what car it is and the customer answers "a cute red one"

[ZokesPro]

rugger:
Most customers expect a PC to run flawlessly just like an appliance, yet they do not comprehend the complexities and mechanics behind one.

I've talked to dozens of users and they have told me that if the OS does not run perfectly, and WITHOUT crashing than they want to return their system and get their money back. I tell them that a computer is not perfect and I give a brief explanation as to why, but they usually blame it on the PC manufacturer and they don't realise that crappy programming could be the problem. They think that once a software is on the shelf that it is perfect and that it NEVER needs to be updated. Like their Anti-Virus program. They think that once it's installed than they have 100% protection against EVERYTHING!!!

I think that when one wants to own a computer that they should study and do a little research before hand, that way they will know what to expect. Even though my knowledge of computers far exceeds most "regular" users, I still do research when buying a new toy.

BTW, I know what you mean.

[Technoid]

How about this one zokes?

The Computer is rock solid stable at delivery but after 1 month and 150 separate applikations and games it becomes unstable and the customer is sure that its a hardware problem

We have lots of those customers