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Idiots!
Idiot # 1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she had better
bring her daughter into the Emergency Room right away.
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Idiot # 2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting
it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the
river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
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Idiot # 3
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.
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Idiot # 4
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store
window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
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Idiot # 5
Ann Arbor, Michigan. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 AM, flashed a
gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
could not open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they were not available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she had better
bring her daughter into the Emergency Room right away.
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Idiot # 2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting
it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the
river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
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Idiot # 3
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.
----------------------------------------------
Idiot # 4
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store
window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
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Idiot # 5
Ann Arbor, Michigan. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 AM, flashed a
gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
could not open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they were not available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
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