In the new spirit, some Python bits!

[Jammrock]

DEATH awaits you all...

ARTHUR: _What manner of man are you that can conjure up fire without flint_or tinder?
TIM:I am an enchanter.
ARTHUR looks at BEDEVERE.
ARTHUR:_By what name are you known?
TIM: There are some who call me Tim.
ARTHUR: Greetings Tim the Enchanter!
TIM: _Greetings King Arthur.
ARTHUR:_You know my name?
TIM: _I do._(does another fire trick)_You seek the Holy Grail.
ARTHUR: That is our quest. You know much that is hidden O Tim.
TIM: (does another fire trick)_Quite.
Ripple of applause from the KNIGHTS.
ARTHUR: Yes we seek the Holy Grail._(clears throat very quietly)_Our quest is to find the Holy Grail.
ONE OR TWO KNIGHTS: Yes it is.
ARTHUR: And so we're looking for it.
KNIGHTS:_Yes, we are.
BEDEVERE:_We have been for some time.
KNIGHTS:_Yes.
ROBIN: Months.
ARTHUR: Yes ... and obviously any help we get is ... is very ... helpful.
GALAHAD:_Do you know where it ...
TIM does another fire trick.
ALL OTHER KNIGHTS:_Sssssh!
ARTHUR:_Fine ... well er ... we mustn't take up anymore of your time ..._I don't suppose ... sorry to sort of keep on about it ... you_haven't by any chance ... aaah ... any idea where one might_find ... a ... aaa ...
TIM: What?
ARTHUR:A G...g...g...
TIM:_A Grail?
They all jump slightly and look about apprehensively.
ARTHUR:_Er ... yes ... I think so.
ALL OTHER KNIGHTS:_Yes.
TIM: Yes.
KNIGHTS:_Fine.
ROBIN:_Splendid!
OTHERS:Yes, marvellous.
TIM looks thoughtful and they all stand around a little. _Then TIM produces_another fire trick producing several different colours.
ARTHUR: Look, you're a busy man ...
TIM:_Yes, I can help you with your quest.
Slight pause.
ALL OTHER KNIGHTS:_Thank you. _Yes, thank you very much.
TIM:_To the north there lies a cave, _the cave of Caerbannog,_wherein, carved in mystic runes, upon the very living rock,_the last words of Olfin Bedwere of Rheged ...
There is a thunderclap and a wind starts. The KNIGHTS get nervous.
TIM: _... make plain the last resting place of the most Holy Grail.
ARTHUR:_How shall we find this cave, O Tim?
TIM:_Follow!
The KNIGHTS register delight and wheel round on themselves.
But follow only if you are men of valour. _For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a monster, a creature so foul and cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. _Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair ... therefore sweet knights if you may doubt your strength or courage_come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty pointy teeth.
+ARTHUR: What an eccentric performance!

[Byock]

*From memory !!! *

This Parrot wouldn't Zoom if you put 10, 000 volts through it!
this is an EX-Parrot! HELLO POLLY!!

[Umfriend]

How Not To Be Seen anyone?

[GNEP]

What did the Romans ever do for us, eh?

[Fat Tone]

Originally posted by GNEP
What did the Romans ever do for us, eh?

Did you hear Radio 4 this morning, between 8 & 8.30? A bloke on there reckons it wasn't very much. (seriously).

[GNEP]

Yup - that's what brought it to mind... LOL - I was wondering who would spot the Radio 4 link there...

[Fat Tone]

I think they were filling (& plugging). Either way it was boring. I've had more fun talking to a dead parrot.

[GNEP]