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**Gurm** · 20 March 2003, 08:47

That's cute, and so very true. The odds it was written by Dennis Miller? Slim to none, like everything else I see attributed to him on a regular basis.

- Gurm

P.S. Yes, I lost all respect for Miller when he became a football commentator. He _IS_ still good for one thing though - since 100% of sports fans and commentators don't understand a damn thing he says, it proves my point about their stupidity... since he just isn't that smart.

**Jammrock** · 20 March 2003, 08:55

You use every chance you have to push some anti-sport crap, don't you

It's funny, whoever wrote it.

Jammrock

**Brian R.** · 20 March 2003, 08:55

I'll voice the opposite opinion, it is blatant propaganda. The sign of propaganda is it is extreme exagerations and lies intermixed with enough truth to get you to believe all of it.

**GT98** · 20 March 2003, 08:57

Originally posted by Brian R.
I'll voice the opposite opinion, it is blatant propaganda. The sign of propoganda is it is extreme exagerations intermixed with enough truth to get you to believe all of it.

Well he is a comedian and I just read over on Foxnews that he said on the Jay Leno show that hes Pro-bush.

**Brian R.** · 20 March 2003, 09:01

Sorry, I edited my post after you responded. Are you sure that it is actually attributable to Miller?

**bambam** · 20 March 2003, 10:09

Well here's a counterpoint from an English Comic - Terry Jones, from Monty Python. I think it is immensley more funny. Must be a cultural difference

A letter to the London Observer from Terry Jones (yes, of Monty Python). Sunday January 26, 2003 The Observer

I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's
running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I've been really
pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street.
Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me
queer looks, and I'm sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me,
but so far I haven't been able to discover what.
I've been round to his place a few times to see what he's up to, but he's
got everything well hidden. That's how devious he is. As for Mr Patel,
don't ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources that he is, in
reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them that if
we don't act first, he'll pick us off one by one.
Some of my neighbours say, if I've got proof, why don't I go to the
police?
But that's simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence
of a crime with which to charge my neighbours. They'll come up with endless
red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike and
all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible
things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly murdering people.
Since I'm the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic
firearms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But until recently
that's been a little difficult. Now, however, George W. Bush has made it
clear that all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in
and do whatever I want!
And let's face it, Mr Bush's carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is
the only way to bring about international peace and security. The one certain way to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK is to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us. That's why I want to blow up Mr Johnson's garage and kill his wife and children. Strike first! That'll teach them a lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way. Mr Bush makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraq is that Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction - even if no one can find them. I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr Johnson's wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing Iraq. Mr Bush's long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rogue states' and 'terrorism'. It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when you've achieved it?
How will Mr Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists? When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once he's committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? These are the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists, being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves. Perhaps Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every Muslim fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr Bush to eliminate all Muslims?
It's the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don't like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out.
My wife says I might be going too far but I tell her I'm simply using the same logic as the President of the United
States. That shuts her up.
Like Mr Bush, I've run out of patience, and if that's a good enough reason for the President, it's good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out in the open and hand over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar
terrorist masterminds, and if they don't hand them over nicely and say 'Thank you', kingdom come. It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast to what he's intending, my policy will destroy only one street.

**MultimediaMan** · 20 March 2003, 10:10

I read the post and the only thing I am unsure of is the Statement about the last 500 years of Islam...the rest of it is factual (or true when viewed from a western perspective).

I have nothing against Islam at all: one of my best friends through school was a Muslim Palestinian exchange student, and he was a pretty regular guy. There are Baptist Exremists just as there are Islamic Fundamentalists: Religion tends to take those who are easily swayed down paths that they would otherwise never follow.

**Gurm** · 20 March 2003, 10:25

LOL.

Sorry about the anti-sports rant. It just slipped out. I've been good for some time.

- Gurm

**IM_Riktar** · 20 March 2003, 13:15

A letter to the London Observer from Terry Jones (yes, of Monty Python). Sunday January 26, 2003 The Observer

Your argument/point is valid using hypothetical scenarios. I have one to add: Let's say that you lost a loved one from a terrible crime such as murder. Now let's say you have gotten information that links that same neighbor to similar activities. Or we could say that the "neighbor" has been known to commit other terrible crimes in past. Maybe not the same exact crime, but a similar types that are terrible. Now that we have added these items into the mix, let's say that neighbor is giving me or my family members funny, or suspicious looks.

If you can still apply the same humor or points that are listed in the letter congratulations! You have graduated to my list of people I will not choose to associate with. I would also surmise you are an only child that was adopted since you obviously have no concept of loss from a family/human perspective.

I am not going to post the whole STUPID letter, just scroll back and read bambam's post. And to keep the record straight, I am NOT pointing this at bambam. This goes to Terry Jones the author. I will look into drafting this response to him as well.

**Joel** · 20 March 2003, 13:59

The following three are as true as they come.

(5) You can take this one to the bank: Saddam and bin Laden will NOT
seek UN approval before they try to kill us.

(7) If you are anti-war and even an outright "America Basher," to bin
Laden >you are still an "infidel" whom he wants dead.

(10) Whether you are for or against military action, our young men and
women overseas are fighting to defend our right to speak out on these
issues. They deserve our unreserved support.

Joel

**thop** · 20 March 2003, 14:05

IM_Riktar: it's called black humor.

**IM_Riktar** · 20 March 2003, 16:31

thop:
I should have qualified my response to the extent that I understood it was a point of black humor. I just feel very strongly about this as much as I would if someone tried to use black humor towards my personal experiences.

I try to never use that sort of humor myself. But to each his own.

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