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Got up at 12.00. Well thats what the clocks telling me as it flashes on and off. My kid says I should set it to the correct time. Well I press all the buttons and it still says 12.00.
Have a cold shower, I'm sure that blue dash means the gas flame is on. I'll have to call the gas man or is it an electric one dunno really it's too technical for me.
I decide to forget about the toast as I can't get the toast out of the slot after I put it in. If I shake it upside down it still comes out white. Strange it always works for my kids.
I then brush my teeth, strange it tastes like shaving foam and the shaving foam smells like toothpaste. It's amazing what they can do these days.
Step outside and realise I forgot my car keys. Turn round and realise I forgot my house keys and I can't get back in.
Ring my neighbours doorbell by mistake. He's really angry as it's six o'clock. I tell not to be stupid as it's twelve and I'm late for work and he should set his clock right.
My daughter lets me in I'm worried she looks tired must be sickening for something.
Next problem I can't find my car. Well they're all look the same and got four wheels. The policeman gives me a strange look as I try four cars the fourth is mine.
I'll have to get the mechanic to have a look at this at it keeps on stalling everytime I try to start it.
Drive to the end of the road and remember I forgot my swipe card to the building. I go back home and accidentally ring my neighbours bell, he punches me in the eye. I'll sue the bastard for that. Come to that I'll sue the garage as the car won't start again.
I need some petrol and call in at the garage. I can't remember if it uses Unleaded, Diesal or leaded. I ask the forcourt attendant. He asks what model. I say "I don't know what do you mean by the Model". He gives me a strange look and says he'll be back in a minute. In the meantime I manage to fill the car with all three types of fuel. It's amazing what you can do with a funnel.
The cashier gives me a strange look and everyones watching as I pull out. This car is running like a dog. Luckily the roads are strangly empty and I get to work fairly easily if you call a stuttering car easy.
For some reason the works car park is full of the night shift cars. Must be a Union meeting or something. The swipe card won't let me luckily someone leaving opens the door and I slip through. I'll need another new swipe card. Thats the fifth thats packed up on me this week.
Julie my office companion isn't in yet but she must have reset my desk clock as it still flashing twelve O'clock. I sit in front of mine computer but the screen stays blank. This is it I'm getting rather angry now. I ring the helpdesk and get a smart arse who asks have I switched it on? Of course I have in frustation I push all the buttons. The coffee holder flies out so I'll stick my varse in it keeping it in posistion so I can get my coffee. Anyway pressing all the buttons did the trick and the normally blue screen is there. I go and get my coffee and it strangly tastes like orange juice and is cold. I'll report that later. I come back to the computer and quickly put my cup in the coffee holder. However these plastics cups aren't as strong as my china cup and it goes inside my computer. Theres a blue flash and the screen goes blank. I ring the helpdesk the operator is the same unhelpful git from earlier. He seems surprised that the coffee holder operated incorrectly. I shouted "I need someone now as I've got a lot of work to do today". He says "he'll try and get someone out later".
I'm now getting a headache and decide it's best I go home. Strangley the night shift is also going home. Someone as a joke has moved my car I can't find it luckily since the night shift is leaving that only leaves six cars. My is the sixth but it won't start. I go back to building and strangly the swipe card works. I ring the garage and demand they take the piece if junk back and fix it. The computer is still not fixed so I leave for home. I then remember I haven't any change for the bus.
Now which direction is home as I start to walk.
Have a cold shower, I'm sure that blue dash means the gas flame is on. I'll have to call the gas man or is it an electric one dunno really it's too technical for me.
I decide to forget about the toast as I can't get the toast out of the slot after I put it in. If I shake it upside down it still comes out white. Strange it always works for my kids.
I then brush my teeth, strange it tastes like shaving foam and the shaving foam smells like toothpaste. It's amazing what they can do these days.
Step outside and realise I forgot my car keys. Turn round and realise I forgot my house keys and I can't get back in.
Ring my neighbours doorbell by mistake. He's really angry as it's six o'clock. I tell not to be stupid as it's twelve and I'm late for work and he should set his clock right.
My daughter lets me in I'm worried she looks tired must be sickening for something.
Next problem I can't find my car. Well they're all look the same and got four wheels. The policeman gives me a strange look as I try four cars the fourth is mine.
I'll have to get the mechanic to have a look at this at it keeps on stalling everytime I try to start it.
Drive to the end of the road and remember I forgot my swipe card to the building. I go back home and accidentally ring my neighbours bell, he punches me in the eye. I'll sue the bastard for that. Come to that I'll sue the garage as the car won't start again.
I need some petrol and call in at the garage. I can't remember if it uses Unleaded, Diesal or leaded. I ask the forcourt attendant. He asks what model. I say "I don't know what do you mean by the Model". He gives me a strange look and says he'll be back in a minute. In the meantime I manage to fill the car with all three types of fuel. It's amazing what you can do with a funnel.
The cashier gives me a strange look and everyones watching as I pull out. This car is running like a dog. Luckily the roads are strangly empty and I get to work fairly easily if you call a stuttering car easy.
For some reason the works car park is full of the night shift cars. Must be a Union meeting or something. The swipe card won't let me luckily someone leaving opens the door and I slip through. I'll need another new swipe card. Thats the fifth thats packed up on me this week.
Julie my office companion isn't in yet but she must have reset my desk clock as it still flashing twelve O'clock. I sit in front of mine computer but the screen stays blank. This is it I'm getting rather angry now. I ring the helpdesk and get a smart arse who asks have I switched it on? Of course I have in frustation I push all the buttons. The coffee holder flies out so I'll stick my varse in it keeping it in posistion so I can get my coffee. Anyway pressing all the buttons did the trick and the normally blue screen is there. I go and get my coffee and it strangly tastes like orange juice and is cold. I'll report that later. I come back to the computer and quickly put my cup in the coffee holder. However these plastics cups aren't as strong as my china cup and it goes inside my computer. Theres a blue flash and the screen goes blank. I ring the helpdesk the operator is the same unhelpful git from earlier. He seems surprised that the coffee holder operated incorrectly. I shouted "I need someone now as I've got a lot of work to do today". He says "he'll try and get someone out later".
I'm now getting a headache and decide it's best I go home. Strangley the night shift is also going home. Someone as a joke has moved my car I can't find it luckily since the night shift is leaving that only leaves six cars. My is the sixth but it won't start. I go back to building and strangly the swipe card works. I ring the garage and demand they take the piece if junk back and fix it. The computer is still not fixed so I leave for home. I then remember I haven't any change for the bus.
Now which direction is home as I start to walk.