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  • Employee Evaluation!

    Employee Evaluation

    Be sure to read through to the bottom...

    1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found

    2. hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without

    3. wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never

    4. thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

    5. finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended

    6. measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

    7. breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no

    8. vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

    9. knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be

    10. classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be

    11. dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be

    12. promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

    13. executed as soon as possible.

    Addendum:

    That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today.

    Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.
    If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

    Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

  • #2
    ROFL.... reminds me of the people i am incharge off... i always end up doing their work on top of mine to get them done... (its my head not theirs if it aint don)
    "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

    Comment


    • #3
      Good one
      Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
      Weather nut and sad git.

      My Weather Page

      Comment


      • #4
        LMAO

        Funny one...

        ~Sethos
        "...and in the next instant he was one of the deadest men that ever lived." – Mark Twain

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        • #5
          LOL - now to think of ways to use this at the next appraisal rounds somehow...
          DM says: Crunch with Matrox Users@ClimatePrediction.net

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          • #6
            Almost too good to be true. When I was an employer in Switzerland, I always had to read references carefully between the lines.

            e.g

            Gets on well with his colleagues = is always chatting to them on the girl he screwed the previous night.

            Quick on the uptake = jumps to the wrong conclusions

            and so on.

            However, the best one was a letter an Indian candidate brought along. It finished with:
            If you are considering giving Mr. R. a berth in your company, I strongly recommend it be a wide one.
            The poor guy was very proud of this reference, written by an Indian employer for whom he worked only three months
            Brian (the devil incarnate)

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            • #7
              LOL that wide berth bit is a brilliant way to screw someone who has non-native english...
              DM says: Crunch with Matrox Users@ClimatePrediction.net

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              • #8
                LOL that was a good parting shot

                ~Sethos
                "...and in the next instant he was one of the deadest men that ever lived." – Mark Twain

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                • #9
                  BWAHAHAHAHAAHAH THAT IS GREAT TECHNOID!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    read the even lines and some funny things are also said a bout bob
                    If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

                    Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

                    Comment

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