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Dam Goverment
This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan
Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This
guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to
the response letter.
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;Montcalm County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that
there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced
parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and
maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A
review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued.
Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation
of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently
hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you
to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the
stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming
the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no
later than January 31, 2003.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a
follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure
to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site
may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement
action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this
matter.
Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price, District Representative Land and Water Management
Division
** Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries: **
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.
Dear Mr. Price,
Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to. I
am the legal landowner but not the contractor at 2088 Dagget,
Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the process of constructing
and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet
stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise
their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that
you call their skillful use of nature's building materials "debris." I would
like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam
project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state
there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam
resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam
determination and/or their dam work ethic. As to your request, I do not
think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior
to the start of this type of dam activity.
My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against
my Spring Pond Beavers, or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this
State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against
these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request
completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have
been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part
301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental
Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections
324.30101to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
I have several concerns. My first concern is; aren't the beavers entitled to
legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and
are unable to pay for said representation-so the State will have to provide
them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both
of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof
that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to
protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond beavers alone
rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.
If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please
contact the beavers-but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously
did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read
English. In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build
their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and
water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live
and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and
Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural
resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred
for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until
1/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there
will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them
then.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears
are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be
persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are
going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not
careful where they dump!)
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact
you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to
your dam office.
THANK YOU. RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS
And for you nonbelievers out there: http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/beaverdam.htm
Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This
guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to
the response letter.
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;Montcalm County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that
there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced
parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and
maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A
review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued.
Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation
of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently
hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you
to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the
stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming
the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no
later than January 31, 2003.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a
follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure
to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site
may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement
action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this
matter.
Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price, District Representative Land and Water Management
Division
** Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries: **
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.
Dear Mr. Price,
Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to. I
am the legal landowner but not the contractor at 2088 Dagget,
Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the process of constructing
and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet
stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise
their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that
you call their skillful use of nature's building materials "debris." I would
like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam
project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state
there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam
resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam
determination and/or their dam work ethic. As to your request, I do not
think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior
to the start of this type of dam activity.
My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against
my Spring Pond Beavers, or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this
State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against
these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request
completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have
been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part
301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental
Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections
324.30101to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
I have several concerns. My first concern is; aren't the beavers entitled to
legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and
are unable to pay for said representation-so the State will have to provide
them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both
of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof
that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to
protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond beavers alone
rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.
If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please
contact the beavers-but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously
did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read
English. In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build
their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and
water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live
and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and
Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural
resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred
for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until
1/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there
will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them
then.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears
are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be
persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are
going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not
careful where they dump!)
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact
you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to
your dam office.
THANK YOU. RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS
And for you nonbelievers out there: http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/beaverdam.htm
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