Tfeh

[SpiralDragon]

in arabic (oe at least in lebanon) Tfeh is synonomous with the Yuk.... its become my new acronim of the year....
True Friendship Ends Here

as some of you know .. i have been having problems with friends latly... at first i thought i was just being paranoid... but then the facts started coming in.... one person only befreinds me becouse i edit for him for free... two other friends whom i have saved thier buts on more ocasions than i can count on part of my teachnical experiance and creative talants have chosen to start thier own production house... they always said they want to do this and they always said that i would be a partner.... aperantly they have elected not to include me in thier plans becuse of this other freind that they have who is qualified as an editor but thats where it stops.... i am a pro editor... pro sound engeneer... pro sound designer... i know computers and electronic equipment better than any one... i also do compositing... and i write scripts..... obviously i wasnt good enugh for them.....

but the worst blow came from that very girl i was telling you about befor.... she somehow though that i had developed feelings of love for her... i asured her that i do love her but as a close friend and a maybe even a sybling.... this person has been the most importent person in my life other than my wife... we click together and we understand eachother without even having to use words.... she spent countless of days and nights at my place and now she drops one hell of a bomb on me.... her behaviour towards me has been cold latly... when i asked her why.. she said that she felt i was falling in love with her ... i assured her of my intentions yet she remaind cold... i asked why the coldness.. what are you trying to tell me... that you never want to talk again because of a silly suspicion... she said no she wants us to remain freinds... profetional friends but nothing more... and that she and i where never close to be close again....

there where others who demonstrated a similar trait... i am angry... i feel hurt ....i have erased the numbers of 75% of the people i know form my phone.... and i am realy lost now.....

[DukeP]

Never completely lost, if you still got yourself.
Enjoy your own compagny, and truer friends will come as well. Friends that doesnt REQUIRE your presence, but just enjoy it.

Stick with yourself and your family for a while.

I hope this helps.

I know we at the Murcs cant become real friends (the distance makes this impossible, imo) - but we are still here to listen and give what advice we can think of.

Cheer up!


~~DukeP~~

[mutz]

Hey SD! We went through something like this a year ago, right?

The film, video and TV business is like that, I speak out of my own experience, but that might not be the only reason they are drifting away.

It may be exactly the opposite with your best girlfriend. She may be in love with you and that is her way of dealing with it. Ask your wife. Women know women, men don't. Be happy and grateful that you have love in your life.

...but I think something else is going on here. Please PM me.

[SpiralDragon]

mutz my wife agrees with you.... i have talked about this ever since the begining with her... i never hid stuf from her.... and she agrees.... i am off to pm you know....

[mutz]

...yeah, exactly one year ago...

The art of listening to a woman is far, far more valuable that the art of talking to a woman. I have to relearn this every day, and when I forget it, I'm in instant shit.

Listen to both of your women, keep your mouth shut no matter how difficult it is and maybe things will warm up again.

[GNEP]

to Mutz. Listen to the man.

[SpiralDragon]

i know you are right on this..... learning to listen to women ... and actualy women tell me that i am one hell of a listener.... even this friend..... but i cant but think that it is imposible for her to love me in that way..... may be i am right because i know her better... maybe i am wrong because i dont know her as well as i think any more.... but i feel that i know that the problem is not her loving me.....

[mutz]

I didn't quite get that SD...

It is better not to think you know anyone because the other person will feel they are kept in a box with limitations. Nobody, fortunately, can really know anybody else, because every individual is really an infinite adventure of discovery if you allow yourself to walk that road. You also have to accept and allow for the fact that roads meet, cross, meander away and maybe meet again. If you put anybody in a box, you automatically put yourself in one too, which is cozy for a while, but you create a situation whereby everybody will try to break out of the goddammed box and hate the person that put them in there. There is an absolute law of the universe that says whatsoever you do to somebody else you have simultaneously done it to yourself in exactly the same measure. Only the consequences may differ.

Stop thinking and just be.

[SpiralDragon]

wrong choice of words..... substitute the word "know" with " i have a good understanding of her" i am translating some of the things i write directly from arabic so don't take my words for absolouts.... i dont belive in absolouts... every thing is relative....

[SpiralDragon]

i dont think i know how to stop thinking..... and all i can think about "be" that famous line from shakspeer....

[mutz]

...he-he, some things are absolute, only the consequences are relative. Evading by playing with words will be of no help at all.

...what Shakey said. That IS your question.

[SpiralDragon]

you are probably right...... i just dont know anymore

[mutz]

SD, you have a lovely house and garden, a burbeling stream, forests nearby. If you stay locked in the attic picking through old crap you will only get old. Go down in the house where the rest of you lives and look at yourself and all that you really are.

But that is not the point. You are on the brink of another depression and it is time to get back to your doc and talk to her about what I PMed you about. All the talk is illusion and dillusion.

Get with it NOW!

Please.

[SpiralDragon]

Mutz...

again thank you for reminding me..... ... i am going to be fine....

[mutz]

Love you.