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Warning Labels
Due to increasing product liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-girlfriends are really dying to have you call them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you're invisible or worse, bulletproof!
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may disappear.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading factor in having a coyote date.
WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may mack you tink you can tipe real gode...
Jammrock
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-girlfriends are really dying to have you call them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you're invisible or worse, bulletproof!
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may disappear.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading factor in having a coyote date.
WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may mack you tink you can tipe real gode...
Jammrock
- I can relate! 
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