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Christmas Party..
December 1st To: ALL EMPLOYEES
I am happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will be held
on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbeque. There will be lots of
spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to
sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed up as
Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchanging gifts among employees can be done at this time; please remember to keep gifts to the agreed $10.00 limit.
Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 2nd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though not this year unfortunately). However, from now on we're calling this party our "Holiday Party." The same policy also applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no tree, or Christmas carols sung.
Happy holidays to you and yours.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 3rd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Regarding the anonymous note I received from member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but please remember that if I put up a sign on the table that
reads "AA ONLY," you won't be anonymous any more. In addition, we will no longer be having a gift exchange since the Union members feel that $10.00 is too much money.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 7th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I have arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest away from the dessert buffet, and for pregnant employees to sit closest to
the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not
have to sit with the gay men; each group will have their own table.
And, yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table!
Happy now?
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 9th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
People, people!! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to
play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram for "Santa" does happen to be
"Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit'.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 10th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Vegetarians - I've had it with you people!! We're holding this party at
Luigi's Open Pit Barbeque whether you like it or not!! You can just sit
at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and
you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you
know, tomatoes have feelings, too! They scream when you slice them. I've
heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now. Ha! I hope you have a
rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?
The Bitch from Hell !
December 14th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to
her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel
the Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon off with full pay on the 23rd.
Terri Bishop
Acting Human Resources Director
I am happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will be held
on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbeque. There will be lots of
spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to
sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed up as
Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchanging gifts among employees can be done at this time; please remember to keep gifts to the agreed $10.00 limit.
Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 2nd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though not this year unfortunately). However, from now on we're calling this party our "Holiday Party." The same policy also applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no tree, or Christmas carols sung.
Happy holidays to you and yours.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 3rd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Regarding the anonymous note I received from member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but please remember that if I put up a sign on the table that
reads "AA ONLY," you won't be anonymous any more. In addition, we will no longer be having a gift exchange since the Union members feel that $10.00 is too much money.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 7th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I have arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest away from the dessert buffet, and for pregnant employees to sit closest to
the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not
have to sit with the gay men; each group will have their own table.
And, yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table!
Happy now?
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 9th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
People, people!! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to
play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram for "Santa" does happen to be
"Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit'.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 10th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Vegetarians - I've had it with you people!! We're holding this party at
Luigi's Open Pit Barbeque whether you like it or not!! You can just sit
at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and
you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you
know, tomatoes have feelings, too! They scream when you slice them. I've
heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now. Ha! I hope you have a
rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?
The Bitch from Hell !
December 14th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to
her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel
the Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon off with full pay on the 23rd.
Terri Bishop
Acting Human Resources Director
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