Wrong diagnosis?......

[LvR]

Hell yes!

[LvR]

An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband's sex drive.
"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.


"Not a chance," says Mrs.. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a headache."


"No problem," replies the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee, he won't
even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on."

A week later Mrs.. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how things went.

"Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor."

"What happened?" asks the doctor.

"Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible."


"What was terrible?" said the doctor, "was the sex not good?"

"Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years, but I'll never be able to show my face in McDonald's again."

[LvR]

If you're like most people, common everyday items look inert to you.
But what you may not know is that many have a gender. For example...

Freezer bags -
Male, because they hold everything in but you can see right through them.

Photocopier -
Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. It's an
effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak
havoc, if the wrong buttons are pushed.

Tyre -
Male, because it goes bald and often it's over inflated.

Hot Air Balloon -
Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under its
arse and, of course, there's the hot air part.

Sponges -
Female, because they're soft and squeezable and retain water.

Web page -
Female, because they're always getting hit on.

London Underground -
Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.

Hourglass -
Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

Hammer -
Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's
handy to have around.

Remote control -
Female...
Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider - It gives a man pleasure, he'd
be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to
push, he keeps trying!

[LvR]

A female TV reporter arranged for an interview with a farmer, seeking the
main cause of Mad Cow Disease.

The Lady: Good evening, sir. I am here to collect information on the possible
source of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?
The Farmer stared at the reporter and said: Do you know that a bull mounts a
Cow only once a year?
The lady reporter (obviously embarrassed): Well, sir, that's a new piece of
information, but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow
Disease?
The Farmer: And, madam, do you know that we milk a Cow twice a day?
The reporter: Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about,
Getting to the point?
The Farmer: I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was
playing with your titts twice a day and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't
you get mad?

[Fat Tone]

LOL

[SpiralDragon]

ROFLMAO