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Bricklayer's Accident Report
Hope this hasn't been posted before.
BRICKLAYER'S ACCIDENT REPORT
Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin
Award for sure....
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of
my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following
details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work,
I
found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were
found
to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in
a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building
on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the
rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh
175lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost
my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now
proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This explained the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in
section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able
to
hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal
of pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of
the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to
my weight.
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile
of
bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks,
in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind
and
let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry."
Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin
Award for sure....
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of
my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following
details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work,
I
found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were
found
to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in
a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building
on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the
rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh
175lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost
my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now
proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This explained the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in
section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able
to
hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal
of pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of
the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to
my weight.
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile
of
bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks,
in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind
and
let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry."
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