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The Best Military Branch

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  • The Best Military Branch

    A Soldier, a Sailor, an Airman and a Marine got into an argument about
    which branch of the service was "The Best." The arguing became so heated the
    four service men failed to see an oncoming truck as they crossed the street.
    They were hit by the truck and killed instantly.

    Soon, the four servicemen found themselves at the Pearly gates of Heaven.
    There, they met Saint Peter and decided that only he could be the ultimate
    source of truth and honesty. So, the four servicemen asked him, "Saint
    Peter, which branch of the United States Armed Forces is the best?"

    Saint Peter replied, "I can't answer that. However, I will ask God what He
    thinks the next time I see Him. Meanwhile, thank you for your service on
    Earth and welcome to Heaven."

    Some time later the four servicemen see Saint Peter and remind him of the
    question they had asked when first entering Heaven. The four servicemen
    asked Saint Peter if he was able to find the answer. Suddenly, a sparkling
    white dove lands on Saint Peter's shoulder. In the dove's beak is a note
    glistening with gold dust. Saint Peter opens the note, trumpets blare, gold
    dust drifts into the air, harps play crescendos and Saint Peter begins to
    read the note aloud to the four servicemen:


    MEMORANDUM FROM THE DESK OF THE ALMIGHTY ONE

    TO: All Former Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines

    SUBJECT: Which Military Service Is the Best

    1. All branches of the United States Armed Forces are honorable and noble.

    2. Each serves America well and with distinction.

    3. Serving in the United States military represents a great honor
    warranting special respect, tribute, and dedication from your fellow man.

    4. Always be proud of that.

    Warm regards,



    GOD, USMC (Retired)
    Why is it called tourist season, if we can't shoot at them?

  • #2


    ROFLMAO!

    Comment


    • #3


      I don't get it.

      AZ
      There's an Opera in my macbook.

      Comment


      • #4
        USMC = U.S Marine Corps (I think)
        Join MURCs Distributed Computing effort for Rosetta@Home and help fight Alzheimers, Cancer, Mad Cow disease and rising oil prices.
        [...]the pervading principle and abiding test of good breeding is the requirement of a substantial and patent waste of time. - Veblen

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        • #5
          Read his (God's) tag line.


          ~~DukeP~~

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Umfriend
            USMC = U.S Marine Corps (I think)
            Correct.

            Marine saying:

            Marines never die! They regroup in hell!

            Jammrock
            “Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out”
            –The Light Fantastic, Terry Pratchett

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            • #7
              I know what USMC stands for, but why should god be a marine? And how would that make it funny?

              AZ
              There's an Opera in my macbook.

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              • #8
                Not to mention the concept of a "peaceful" Christian god advocating war....
                Gigabyte P35-DS3L with a Q6600, 2GB Kingston HyperX (after *3* bad pairs of Crucial Ballistix 1066), Galaxy 8800GT 512MB, SB X-Fi, some drives, and a Dell 2005fpw. Running WinXP.

                Comment


                • #9
                  You win some, you lose some. I'm with az, this one's a loss.
                  Titanium is the new bling!
                  (you heard from me first!)

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                  • #10
                    Sorry, humor was lost on me too.
                    "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by az
                      I know what USMC stands for, but why should god be a marine? And how would that make it funny?

                      AZ
                      Easy.

                      A marine wrote the joke.

                      @WOmbat, it's a joke.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I got it! It was funny in the ironic sense.
                        P.S. You've been Spanked!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I guess these guys never saw Full Metal Jacket

                          The first half of this movie is about a squad of new Marines and the Gunnery Sgt. who is their instructor in basic training;

                          Gunnery Sgt. Gerheim (Christmas morning):

                          Happy Birthday to you,
                          Happy Birthday to you,
                          Happy Birthday dear Jesus,
                          Happy Birthday to you.

                          God has a hard-on for Marines because we kill everything we see.
                          He plays his games, we play ours.
                          To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls...

                          The Marine Corps was here before God.
                          You can give your heart to Jesus but your ass belongs to the Corps...
                          Do you understand?

                          Squad: YES, SIR!

                          Gunnery Sgt. Gerheim:

                          Today is Christmas. There will be a magic show at 0930 and the Chaplain expects everyone there except Jews and atheists..."
                          Dr. Mordrid
                          Last edited by Dr Mordrid; 17 August 2004, 20:13.
                          Dr. Mordrid
                          ----------------------------
                          An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

                          I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

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                          • #14
                            An Army General, a Marine General and a Navy Admiral are all sitting around discussing whose's service is better and whose troops are the bravest?

                            The Admiral (well into his second or third ice tea) announces to the group, " My SEALS are the BEST in the world and to prove it I'll have one do the impossible" as he reaches for the phone.

                            Well the other two commanders are in an uproar and each one promply calls for his best soldier.

                            When all three representives have arrived, the Admiral states "Since it was my idea, I'm first" and turning to the SEAL, he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those 10 miles of shark infested waters, climb up that shear cliff and return with with 2 bird eggs... unbroken of course.".

                            The SEAL (being the highly trained soldier that he is) turned runnig towards the cliff. After performing a triple-linddy into the water, the SEAL swam across the 10 miles (all the while beating off sharks with his bare hands) and reaching the far cliff, he began climbing. Near the top of the cliff, he grabs the two eggs and starts back down (all the time, fighting off mean birds). Upon reaching the sea he swims back across (once again fighting off sharks) and climbs back up the first cliff. He then runs back over to the Admiral and hands him the 2 unbroken eggs.

                            The Marine General says "that wasn't nothing," and turning to the Force Recon Marine he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those waters, climb that other cliff,then move across the 4 miles of unmapped jungle and bring me back 2 eggs from the mountain on the other side of the jungle."

                            And with that the Force Recon moved-out. Traveling down the cliff, swimming across the sea, climbing the far cliff, moving through the jungle and upon reaching the 2 eggs, he heads back (all the while fighting off lions, tigers, bears, sharks, and mean birds). Finally reaching the General, the Marine hands him the eggs.

                            The Army General then says "Very nice gentlemen, but heres true bravery" and turning towards his BEST (an Airborne Infantryman), he says "I want you to go down that cliff, across that sea, up the far cliff, thru the 4 miles of unmapped jungle, over the mountain and bring me back 2 eggs from the forest on the other side."


                            The Paratrooper looks at the General, then the cliff, and again back to the General, where he says "SCREW YOU SIR!", renders a proper hand salute and walks away.


                            The General turn towards the other two (both with their jaws on the table) and says "Now gentlemen, thats BRAVERY."
                            Last edited by DGhost; 17 August 2004, 22:23.
                            "And yet, after spending 20+ years trying to evolve the user interface into something better, what's the most powerful improvement Apple was able to make? They finally put a god damned shell back in." -jwz

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                            • #15
                              LOL

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