Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Older than Dirt!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Older than Dirt!

    ----- -----OLDER THAN DIRT

    LightningBugs / Older 'n Dirt!!

    "Hey Dad," one of my kids asked the other day, "What was your favorite fast
    food when you were growing up?"

    "We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him. "All the
    food was slow."

    "C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?"

    "It was a place called 'at home,'" I explained. "Grandma cooked every day
    and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room
    table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit
    there until I did like it."

    By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to
    suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had
    to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would
    have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

    Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf
    course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years
    they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at
    Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no
    Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

    My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we
    never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds,
    and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until
    I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black
    and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The
    top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass.
    The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire
    trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens
    taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.

    I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called "pizza pie." When I
    bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung
    down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the
    best pizza I ever had.

    We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family
    was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a "machine."

    I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the
    living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to
    listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the
    line.

    Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

    All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I
    delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I
    got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning.. On Saturday, I
    had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the
    ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite
    customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

    Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies.
    Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they
    didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies. French
    movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.

    If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to
    share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren.. Just don't
    blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

    Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?


    MEMORIES from a friend:

    My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he
    brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper
    with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter
    had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something.
    I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to "sprinkle"
    clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

    How many do you remember?

    Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
    Ignition switches on the dashboard.
    Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
    Real ice boxes.
    Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
    Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
    Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

    Older Than Dirt Quiz: Count all the ones that you remember not the ones
    you were told about Ratings at the bottom.

    1. Blackjack chewing gum
    2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
    3. Candy cigarettes
    4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
    5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
    6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
    7. Party lines
    8. Newsreels before the movie
    9. P.F. Flyers
    10. Butch wax
    11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (OLive-6933)
    12. Peashooters
    13. Howdy Doody
    14. 45 RPM records
    15. S&H Green Stamps
    16 Hi-fi's
    17. Metal ice trays with lever
    18. Mimeograph paper
    19 Blue flashbulb
    20. Packards
    21. Roller skate keys
    22. Cork popguns
    23. Drive-ins
    24. Studebakers
    25. Wash tub wringers

    If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
    If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
    If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
    If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!

    I might be older than dirt but those memories are the best part of my
    life.

    =====
    "Senility Prayer"...God grant me...
    The senility to forget the people I never liked
    The good fortune to run into the ones that I do
    And the eyesight to tell the difference."
    Have a great week!!!!!!
    Brian (the devil incarnate)

  • #2
    Nice one, Old man.


    ~~DukeP~~

    Comment


    • #3
      I only scored 3/25 (and those 3 were quite some time ago).

      But I find these things fascinating (I didn't burst a gut laughing). It is just amazing how fast things evolve. When I studied, no-one had a mobile phone; at our students place we had the luxury of having a phone that could be used for incoming calls. If we wanted to call, we had to wait in line at a phonebooth. Now, less than 10 years later, everyone has got a mobile, they can't even imagine life without...


      Jörg
      pixar
      Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow. (James Dean)

      Comment


      • #4
        I got 19/25 and the other 6 were probably unique to the USA!

        What the author forgot to mention was that one was still a virgin when one married! Sexual liberty came with the Pill, I guess, in the 1960s.
        Brian (the devil incarnate)

        Comment


        • #5
          I remember all but two. Actually, those are fairly recent. I remember:

          one-sided 78 rpm records of Enrico Caruso
          gear shifts on the column
          no seat belts
          wing windows for ventilation
          round television tubes
          Floyd Patterson vs Ingemar Johansen on the radio
          Pro wrestling with Dick the Bruiser
          Ernie Banks at shortstop
          Jack Brickhouse
          gasoline fueled blow torches

          Comment


          • #6
            Only 4, and it's only because my parents took me to some weird places sometimes. Still young...

            J1NG

            Comment


            • #7
              12 and I'm 29...hmmmm
              Why is it called tourist season, if we can't shoot at them?

              Comment


              • #8
                I wouldn't use the word evolve. Things change, but not necessarily for the better.

                Comment


                • #9
                  11 and i am only 27.....
                  "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Only 7 and I'm 36. I think more are USA specific than Brian thinks.

                    It was nearly 8, but our glass milk bottles always had foil tops.
                    FT.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I scored low, hehe.

                      These two still exist:

                      3. Candy cigarettes (they still make em, like back in the day)
                      23. Drive-ins (rare, but they still exist, there's one in Edmonton, it's been there forever and still serves food, been there before, A&W)
                      Titanium is the new bling!
                      (you heard from me first!)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I remember using an actual pen to write down this sort of shit on paper .......................

                        How old does that make me? .................................
                        Lawrence

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          13 and I'm 32
                          Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            16, I'm 44.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              23/25 .

                              ....still shakin the dirt off my boots

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X