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we where inseprabel for the first 6 years

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  • #1

    we where inseprabel for the first 6 years

    then we got maried and over the past three years we have been drifting apart.... we are now at a point of Irreconcilable differences... for the first time i am begining to ponder the idea of a devorce... however nothing is as easy as it seems... my imigration to canada is tied up with her... her being the principal aplicant... (i hadent graduated from uni back when we aplied 3 years ago)... however now i am at a point where i am willing to let canada go (not to willing though) just to be free.... or if she still wants canada as badly as i do then we can seperate ... get to canada and then go our seperate ways.... theird option is we find a way to make things work... but in any event sooner or later within 5 years at most divorce will be inevitable....

    i felt like sharing this with someone.... i barly have a real social life... so you guys are the best thing i have to friends that i can talk of such things with...... sory it has to be this crapy of a topic...
    "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"
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  • #2
    Re: we where inseprabel for the first 6 years

    Originally posted by SpiralDragon
    i felt like sharing this with someone.... i barly have a real social life... so you guys are the best thing i have to friends that i can talk of such things with...... sory it has to be this crapy of a topic...
    Get some real friends! I don't mean this in a mean way; I was (and partially still am) in the same situation (regarding real social life vs. the net), and the net really is NO substitute for a real social life. Sorry, this probably isn't the right time to post this and you probably knew it already, but please, for your own sake (and maybe for the two of you), get a life. If you cannot on your own, get help!

    AZ
    Last edited by az; 7 November 2004, 14:22.
    There's an Opera in my macbook.

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    • #3
      ouch, if you can express it here, why cant you do it in person to her? Or take it to counceling for the additional help of an outside party (professional) for more ideas to work with
      Better to let one think you are a fool, than speak and prove it


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      • #4
        i can... thats not realy the problem... te problem is that the friends i do enjoy talking to have either left the country or , because of my wife and my work, i had to place a certain measure of distance....

        mybe i exagerated the part where i said i dont have any freinds.... i dont know.... this place here lets me blow my steam more i gues... not expecting to get some sort of mirical here... just blow some steem that otherwise due to the close minded society that i live in , would be dificult to do where i am physicaly now
        "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Dilitante1
          ouch, if you can express it here, why cant you do it in person to her? Or take it to counceling for the additional help of an outside party (professional) for more ideas to work with
          cant talk to her because she keeps putting off... forinstance... to day we had a fight on the way to choir practice (part of my job).. she was driving me there... instead to waiting for me at home to talke things through.. she left for her parants house.. where she is now.....


          oh yah.. i should mention that we dont realy live togeather even though we are maried.... she spends an avarage of 3 to 4 days here and the rest at her parants house.... i alays told her that this would lead to problems between us... she didnt listen ... .untill sometime earlier this year she decided she was going to gradualy move in and spend more time.. the result was a disaster beacuse by that time we had grown to far apart..... so we whent back to the 3-4 day/week setup....

          everytime she gets mad at me for something... say i said something and she missunderstood me... she would not ask for a clarification... she would get mad.. be silent about it for days.. and then maybe she would tell me... menwhile i would be raking my brain as to WTF is wrong.... 90% of the time is beacuse she misunderstood what i said... i could be giving her a compliment and she might think of it as an insult... it has hapened...
          "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

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          • #6
            Sounds like a typical woman to me!

            Don't expect any more rationality from a Canadian chick.

            That living with her parents thing is kind of odd. Must lead to some akwardness between you and her father.
            P.S. You've been Spanked!

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            • #7
              But her mother in law will love him for it!


              SD, I'm sorry m8, donnow what to say.
              Join MURCs Distributed Computing effort for Rosetta@Home and help fight Alzheimers, Cancer, Mad Cow disease and rising oil prices.
              [...]the pervading principle and abiding test of good breeding is the requirement of a substantial and patent waste of time. - Veblen

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              • #8
                Originally posted by schmosef
                That living with her parents thing is kind of odd. Must lead to some akwardness between you and her father.
                odly... they dont seem to care... and looks like they .. for some reason prefer it this way...
                "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

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                • #9
                  6 hours befor i meat her and tell her that i have come to a desision... i hope to reach a peacfull and mutaly benefical compromise.... but this is the end...
                  "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

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                  • #10
                    we are now seperated...
                    "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

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                    • #11
                      Ouch, I am sorry to hear that. Divorce is never easy. Find a good friend, that is the only way to get through this. I was lucky enough to have 2 good friends, that I practically lived with during my recovery.
                      "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

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                      • #12
                        sorry to hear
                        Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own lunar space lander! With blackjack aaaaannd Hookers! Actually, forget the space lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!

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                        • #13
                          My condolances. Definately not a fun situation.

                          NOW, get a good lawyer as her parents appear to be supporting the breakup, just to protect yourself from ugly accusations.
                          Better to let one think you are a fool, than speak and prove it


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                          • #14
                            with Dil.

                            The last thing you want is for things to get messier than they need to be.

                            All the best mate!
                            The Welsh support two teams when it comes to rugby. Wales of course, and anyone else playing England

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                            • #15
                              legality is not an issue atm... she has our savings acount and i am fine with that.. besides.. we have decided not to divorce till after we get to canada... we are just seoerated... kind of in the midel... but she wants canada as badly as i want... and although i have the opertunity of getting the canadian citisenship by merying a canadian freind i do not want to ruin her chance of getting there... once in canada we can start discusing the terms of our divorce,,,, unless we somehow reconcile
                              "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

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