Things to say to your boss....

[Dr Mordrid]

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

I'm already visualising the masking tape over your mouth.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

Dr. Mordrid

[Byock]

Awesome.

[ZokesPro]

HAHA, those are great.

[GNEP]

I'm soooo tempted to send that round my office and to include my boss

(actually on second thoughts he's canadian not american so would probably have a good laugh )

[SitFlyer]

Fantastic, lol

[Elie]

Great stuff Doc

I also may send it to my team including my Boss, but in all fairness, my Boss is one of the best I ever had!

Cheers
Elie

[KvHagedorn]

I would love to see some of those actually being used. The movie Office Space came vividly to mind while reading them.