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  • Remind me to never....

    have another EMG (electro-myogram) again in my F***ING LIFE!!

    Had one this morning on all four extremities and my neck.

    12 needles in each arm/hand and 4 in each leg/foot to record nerve impulses at rest and during muscle contraction. Yes; you have to flex muscles that have a needle in them with some degree of force.

    At least that many sets of electric shocks (6-8 shocks per set) applied to each extremity with what looked like a cattle prod to test nerve conduction.

    Then the SOB stuck two needles way into the back of my neck to check the signalling from my arms to the spinal cord

    IF this were done to a POW the UN would be having a hissy-fit.

    Serious drugs are in order

    Dr. Mordrid
    Last edited by Dr Mordrid; 26 November 2004, 14:45.
    Dr. Mordrid
    ----------------------------
    An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

    I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

  • #2
    Me thinks of a couple of gallons of Whiskey.
    Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
    Weather nut and sad git.

    My Weather Page

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    • #3
      hmm, I've had a nerve conduction test, but it wasn't anything like that. Why would they have to stick you? They just stuck electrodes on me and measured the speed in which the signal travelled from point A to point B.

      The two worst tests I have had are:

      1. Two spinal taps
      2. Persantine-Thallium Stress Test (IVP)

      The IVP test was horrible. Basically they inject this stuff into you slowly (over several minutes) and as it enters your body all of your blood vessels constrict and it feels like someone is piling on Elphants onto your body. You can barely breath after a while and they are basically trying to envoke a heart attack or rigurous excercise. It was the worst feeling ever.
      Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

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      • #4
        I remember reading Michael Crichton's Five Patients and Travels.

        Two awesome books. He talks about, among other things, how we know so much, but in the grand scheme it's really so little about how the human body works.

        A real eye opener. Very highly recommended books. He gets kind of kooky toward the end of travels.
        P.S. You've been Spanked!

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        • #5
          The needles were placed next to nerves and used as electrodes to directly measure the nerve impulses produced during a given muscles rest and contraction. The conduction test differs in that an impulse of known duration and waveform is delivered trans-dermally then the changes along its path are measured on an oscillograph.

          It's been almost 12 hours since they finished and I'm still f***ing miserable. Time for more Vicodin and Neurontin....

          Dr. Mordrid
          Last edited by Dr Mordrid; 26 November 2004, 22:58.
          Dr. Mordrid
          ----------------------------
          An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

          I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

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          • #6
            mmmm vicodinn
            www.lizziemorrison.com

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            • #7
              mmmmmm, you said it Liz...

              ****in' A i'm glad the Army has not heard of that one yet. otherwise i'm sure i would be routinely subjected to it...
              "And yet, after spending 20+ years trying to evolve the user interface into something better, what's the most powerful improvement Apple was able to make? They finally put a god damned shell back in." -jwz

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              • #8
                OT: Is their an army base in Colorado Springs?
                www.lizziemorrison.com

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                • #9
                  Yup. Fort Carson, CO. south end of town.
                  "And yet, after spending 20+ years trying to evolve the user interface into something better, what's the most powerful improvement Apple was able to make? They finally put a god damned shell back in." -jwz

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                  • #10
                    i have a friend in the army out west somewhere. up in the mountains somewhere. he gets bad mobile whats the word.

                    drugssss..

                    he gets bad mobile.. it'll come to me.



                    abyway, i wonder if thats where he is at.
                    www.lizziemorrison.com

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                    • #11
                      he gets bad mobile??? reception???

                      laaaayyy offff zeeee drr0000gggzzz!

                      anywho, I might be able to look him up if you want. PM me a name if you would like...
                      "And yet, after spending 20+ years trying to evolve the user interface into something better, what's the most powerful improvement Apple was able to make? They finally put a god damned shell back in." -jwz

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                      • #12
                        Pff
                        Whiiiiineee..



                        ~~DUkeP~~

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                        • #13
                          Pffttt...yourself.

                          I've had a better night after slamming a Lotus into the tires @100+ mph than I'm having tonight.

                          Dr. Mordrid
                          Dr. Mordrid
                          ----------------------------
                          An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

                          I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

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                          • #14
                            Could be worse, Doc! Think of needles inserted to test nerve conduction controlling erectile dysfunction
                            Brian (the devil incarnate)

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                            • #15
                              No thanks, those nerves are working just fine.

                              Dr. Mordrid
                              Dr. Mordrid
                              ----------------------------
                              An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

                              I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

                              Comment

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