Hmmmmmmmmmmm

[LvR]

One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring.

"Where did you get that ring?" her husband asks.

"Well, she replies, "my boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I
bought it with my share of the winnings.

A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat.

"Where did you get that coat?" her husband asks.

She replies "My boss and I played the lotto and we won again, so I
bought
it with my share of the winnings.

Another week later, his wife comes home, driving in a red Ferrari.

"Where did you get that car?" her husband asks. Again she repeats the
same story about the lotto and her share of the winnings.

That night, his wife asks him to pour her a nice warm bath while she
gets undressed. When she enters the bathroom, she find that there is
barely enough water in the bath to cover the plug at the far end.

"And this?" she asks her husband. "Well," he replies, "we don't want to
get your lotto ticket wet, do we???"

[SitFlyer]

[schmosef]

Is lotto ticket some new slang I'm not aware of?

I don't get the double entendre that's supposed to make this funny.

[Fat Tone]

He's suggesting that what earnt her the ring etc wasn't a lotto ticket, but rather a part of her body that would be rather low in the bath when she sat down


LvR

[VJ]

It is jokes like these that could be the beginning of a new slang word...



Jörg

[Fat Tone]

[Fat Tone]

There was a young lady from Dorset...

[Fat Tone]

...Who's Lotto Ticket stuck out 'neath her corset...

[schmosef]

Originally posted by Fat Tone
He's suggesting that what earnt her the ring etc wasn't a lotto ticket, but rather a part of her body that would be rather low in the bath when she sat down

Yes, yes, I got that much. But for the joke to be funny "lotto ticket" would have to be accepted (either generally or as established by the joke) as a double entendre, which it's not.

What I'm saying is that the joke is too obvious. There's no wit to it. It's the kind of thing school children would find funny simply because it has sexual overtones.

Ok, now I'm sounding like a wet blanket. Sorry, I was just thinking that I missed something.

Thanks for the joke LvR.

[LvR]

Originally posted by schmosef
Yes, yes, I got that much. But for the joke to be funny "lotto ticket" would have to be accepted (either generally or as established by the joke) as a double entendre, which it's not.

What I'm saying is that the joke is too obvious. There's no wit to it. It's the kind of thing school children would find funny simply because it has sexual overtones.

Ok, now I'm sounding like a wet blanket. Sorry, I was just thinking that I missed something.

Thanks for the joke LvR.

You are no doubt thinking about these things too much.............

So try this one then.................



> Two guys in a bar. One says, "Did your hear the news? Mike is dead!"
>

> "Whoa, what the hell happened to him?"
>

> "Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he

> arrived at my driveway, he was going too fast, couldn't brake properly

> and boom - he hits the curb and the car flips. The car knocks down

> half of my front fence and Mike gets thrown through the sunroof. He

> went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom

> window."
>

> "What a horrible way to die!"
>

> "No no, he survived that. That didn't kill him at all. So, he lands in

> my upstairs bedroom, lying on the floor all covered in broken glass.

> Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and

> reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just

> dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing

> down on top of him, crushing him and breaking one arm, three ribs and

> both his legs."
>

> "What a way to go, that's terrible!"
>

> "No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the

> wardrobe off him and drags himself out onto the landing. He tries to

> pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister

> breaks and he goes falling all the way down to the first floor taking

> the entire banister with him. In mid air, all the broken banister

> poles fall on him and 2 or 3 of them skewer him right through the

> abdomen just like a rotisserie chicken when he landed at the bottom."
>

> "Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"
>

> "No no, that didn't kill him. He survived even that. So he's on the

> downstairs floor just outside the kitchen. He crawls in to the

> kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove by but reaching for a

> big pot of boiling hot water, and whoosh, the whole thing comes down

> on him and burns most of his skin off."
>

> "Man, what a terrible way to go!"
>

> "No no, he survived that, he survived that ! He's lying on the floor,

> scalded by boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull

> himself up to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and

> pulls the whole thing out of the wall. Water and electricity don't mix

> and so he got electrocuted, wallop, with 220 volts going right through

> him."
>

> "Now that is one awful way to go!"
>

> "No no, he survived that, he ..."
>

> "Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"
>

> "I shot him!"
>

> "You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"
>

> "He was wrecking my f.. house" !

[Umfriend]

[ZokesPro]

[SitFlyer]

[schmosef]

yeah that's better.

[LvR]

Originally posted by schmosef
yeah that's better.

So - you can see the double entendre in a pimp killing somebody because he cannot handle the destruction of his place of work, but you cannot handle a wet coochie?