Updated Nursery Rhymes

[Brian Ellis]

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.


Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon
10,000 volts went up its ass
And turned its wool to nylon.

Jack and Jill Went up the hill
To have some hanky panky
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky.

[SitFlyer]

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F*ck him, He's only an egg.

[lecter]

Hickery Dickery Dock
This bitch was sucking my cock
The clock struck two
I dropped my goo
Then dropped the bitch off at the park


Plus the classic:

Little Boy Blew/ue
He needed the money

[Fat Tone]

Mary had a little lamb
'twas full of fun and frollicks
It tried to jump a 10 foot wall
and landed on its head

[SitFlyer]

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.

[lecter]

One of my personal favs:

Lizzie Borden took an axe
And gave her mother 40 whacks
When she saw what she had done
She gave her father 41

[Wombat]

Originally posted by SitFlyer
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was bi.

[Jessterw]

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And said, "Hey, what's in the bowl, b*tch?"



You can thank Andrew Dice Clay for that one. I surely wouldn't want anyone to think I made it up

[Brian Ellis]

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck
She put them on the mantelpiece
To see whether they'ld ...


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fall down!

[KvHagedorn]

ROFL.. the ads here are "bilingual nursery rhymes" and "free baby products"

[SitFlyer]

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
...but she didn't wear that one very often

Hey diddle, diddle,
the cat did a piddle,
all over the bedside clock,
The little dog laughed to see such fun
then died of electric shock

[gt40]

any one else get the 'devil penis' ad in this thread?

[GNEP]

No, I get "Toddlers Play and Learn"

[gt40]

I got that one as well now.

must have been something I said