I wouldn't want to be this thief

[Helevitia]

Professor Jasper Rine lectures at UC Berkeley. Recently his laptop was stolen by a thief who was after exam data. Unfortunately for the thief, Professor Rine had some important stuff on that laptop.

http://blastradius.blogspot.com/2005/04/world-of-pain.html

[xortam]

Can't they find this person by the stink emanating from their pants?

[schmosef]

It sounds like the prof is bluffing.

[BarryS]

Hmm, if the professor had "data from a hundred million dollar trial" and "proprietary data from a pre-public company planning an IPO" and "trade secrets from a Fortune 1000 biotech company" on his laptop, then maybe he should have looked after it a little better.

"The Securities and Exchange Commission is very interested in this" and "NIH investigates these things through the FBI, they have been notified about this problem" am I the only one thinking that it's the professor who's in the doo-doo? Who's going to employ someone who can't look after important data? Would you trust this man with your data?

And since when has windows 'phoned home' to redmond? Or is he saying that he's only just installed the same copy of windows on another machine? In which case, Redmond are more likely to be interested in the professor's actions than the thief's.

I don't think it's the thief's pants that are stinking, all the things said by the professor point to him (the professor) feeling guilty about what's happened and reacting in the typically aggressive way that guilty people do when they're embarrassed to be caught out.

[Jessterw]

Yeah sounds rather like BS to me. Why would Microsoft be calling, when it is you that must call MS to activate Windows if there is a problem; nevermind that Windows doesn't call home in the manner being alluded to.

[KvHagedorn]

Well, the professor is playing chess as well as poker. He is making a calculated guess that the person who would be stupid enough to steal his laptop in need of exam answers would be stupid enough to believe this shit. He was, however, not being bright enough to think it more likely that someone would steal a laptop for the laptop rather than the exam questions. Professors are oddly myopic about that sort of thing.

[Wombat]

I'd be pretty surprised if he could even use the same MS *key* on a laptop (probably running an OEM Windows) as on a desktop.

I think the professor is trying to cover his own ass.

Even if he's totally telling the truth, he's a fool. Anybody carrying something so important should be using an encrypted partition and/or files and/or BIOS password.


At any rate, the best thing the thief could probably do is ditch the laptop.

[schmosef]

The best thing that the thief could do is fill the laptop with deviant porn (making sure to back date all the files), then ditch the laptop with the police.

Yep.

[KvHagedorn]

ROFLMAO

Why do that when he could contact the professor anonymously and blackmail him.. sell him back his own laptop with the "top secret documents".. "oh, and by the way, there seems to be some bestial transexual necrophiliac kiddie pr0n on here.. wonder what the FBI would say to THAT, eh? Since you are obviously so important, and make big bucks as a consultant, etc., I am sure you could scrape up $100,000 as a "reward" for the return of your most valuable laptop."

[Fluff]

Since it is a morning lecture wouldnt the culprit still be in bed with a hangover?

[az]

It is absolutely clearly a bluff. If the overdone "There is very important stuff on there, the black helicopters on its way" stuff didn't give it away, the Microsoft thing surely did. IMHO the professor is making a fool out of himself in front of everyone who knows his way around computers.

AZ