The Ark of the Covenant on eBay

[KvHagedorn]

Found this thread (a year old, so no ebay page remains) when I was researching the Amex Black Card.. hilarious.

http://forums.applenova.com/showthread.php?t=149

[ZokesPro]

Excuse my ignorance but what is this "Ark of the Covenant"?

[Jon P. Inghram]

OMG, you never saw Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark?!?

[ZokesPro]

OMG, you never saw Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark?!?

Well of course I did.

You mean to tell me they are selling a golden box that if you open it then you'll die if you look at all the spirits that escape?? Crazy!

(I think that's what happened, correct me if I'm wrong)

[Gurm]

*sigh*

(Jason goes into lecture mode...)

The Ark of the Covenant is where Aaron (Moses' brother, and high priest of the Israelites) put the tablets upon which God wrote the ten commandments.

It's a chest, covered in gold, with gold hoops on the side through which wooden poles can be inserted to carry it - because just TOUCHING it will kill anyone instantly.

Movie stylings aside, the story goes that whenever Israel HAS the ark of the covenant, they cannot lose a battle. All kinds of powers are attributed to it - time standing still, entire enemy armies being overthrown without taking casualties, etc. Of course, Israel managed to get their ASSES handed to them by any number of empires in antiquity, so one has to wonder about this sort of thing.

The current whereabouts of the Ark are unknown - it disappeared well before the Romans overran the city of Jerusalem and destroyed it. (Ostensibly, it's buried in secret chambers under the old temple).

[Jammrock]

(Ostensibly, it's buried in secret chambers under the old temple).

It's been "lost" for a long, long time (around the time of King Solomon is the most popular, so around 1000-900 B.C.). The three most prevelant theories are:

1) Buried in the tunnel system under Jerusalem, more specifically the under the site of the Temple of Solomon/Herod. There is a very large, very old, very intricate system of tunnels under Jerusalem. They are very dangerous to explore, and some tunnels have since caved in, so very difficult to navigate. The prevailing theory is that it's there somewhere. One story says that some Rabbi's combing the tunnels found it. The Isreali government took over the tunnel system to investigate for a few weeks, and then sealed off that section of tuneel with several tons of concrete ... no official word was ever released on what was found, but rumor said the ark.

2) Solomon sent it as a courtship or wedding gift to the Queen of Sheba (modern Ethiopia). Legend says that a group of Rabbi's or Hebrew priests accompanied it and hold it in Ethiopia to this day somewhere around where the source of Nile is. This is one of the newer theories.

3) Another theory is that it's hidden in the cave system near the Dead Sea where the Dead Sea scrolls were hidden. Many believe that those sects that lived by the Dead Sea were kind of like Hebrew monks that collected and hids many Hebrew artifacts and valuables so they wouldn't get plundered and lost whenever Jerusalem got sacked.

There are actually no shortage of theories (one guys claims to have found it in a tunnel/cave system under Golgotha where Jesus was crucified), but in the end people can only guess. And if anyone does actually know where it is, assuming it's not disintigrated by some 3000+ years of time (the box itself was made of wood covered in gold), no one is telling.

Jammrock

[Jon P. Inghram]

4) Stuck in some government warehouse with Data's head, various bits and pieces of Bender, and other unusual artifacts.

[ZokesPro]

4) Stuck in some government warehouse with Data's head, various bits and pieces of Bender, and other unusual artifacts.

LOL

[Technoid]

Theory 1 sounds like the generic goverment conspiracy urban ledgend that seems to exist in every country

[Helevitia]

LMAO, that thread was hilarious

[Gurm]

I've heard the "they found it but had to seal it off..." (and then insert a highly implausible theory as to WHY they had to seal it off) theory before. Of course, it's interesting to note that Israel hasn't lost any battles since... uh... y'know, the country's reinception.

*ahrm*

At any rate, yes I went and looked it up and it turns out that they probably (probably, there are no good specifics) didn't have the ark when they were overrun by Assyria and Babylon. *shrug*

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On a new note, in the upcoming Civilization 4, Sid Meier for the first time adds religion to the mix - upping the complexity level of Civ4 to unheard of heights. That's JUST what I need - instead of wasting a solid weekend on a game of Civ4, it'll take an entire WEEK.

[agallag]

...when I was researching the Amex Black Card...

My GF's Uncle has one of those. He makes very good use of it too...

[KvHagedorn]

Well I was browsing on that Dean's Planet page about Lindsay Lohan and it showed a pic of her license and Amex card.. and the card was black. That's the first I had ever seen or heard of it, so I did some searching. $2500 per year is a bit steep for a CC fee though, and you can't get one unless you have been spending $150k annually on your card.

I've had a gold card for years and got an invitation for the platinum three or four times since then.. I can't see spending even $300 a year for that one though..

Here's the thread if you wanna look up my links.

[agallag]

If you're spending the way the GF's uncle does, it's worth it. The free upgrades on airline tickets alone probably covers the fee for him. I think he's even put some of his cars on it. Currently, his garage contains the following:

Merc S55 AMG
Porsche 911 Carrera 4
Porsche Cayenne Turbo
Bently Continental GT
Aston Martin DB9

... and his wife drives a Mini

Unfortunately, they live in Vancouver, so I haven't been able to visit the cars yet.

[KvHagedorn]

Come on, come on, marry for the money;
Come on, come on, can't you hear the money talk?