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I hate automotive designers
The other day I was going to pick my brother up from work at 1:00AM and, while sitting a red light a couple blocks from work, my engine just dies: no stutter, cough, or anything, just dropped smoothly from idle to off. Cranked just fine but didn't show any signs of even trying to run. Had plenty gas and the fuel pump was working, all fuses were ok. Pushed the car the rest of the way to work and now it would start, but was missing really bad and blowing gasoline fumes out the exhaust big time. Plugs all looked ok, then I pulled wires to check which cylinder was missing and I discover that both 2 and 3 (it's a 4 cylinder) were totally dead. Rather doubted it was a fuel injection issue at that point 'cause it uses TBI. Wires were pretty new and in good shape, at least for the visible lengths. I began to suspect that a ignition coil went bad as that was the only thing that was shared between those cylinders.
Now you discover the meaning behind the title of the thread: I'd like to (figuratively speaking) stick the sick bastard that thought the back of the back side of the engine below the intake manifold was a good spot for the ignition coils in one of these (again, just figuratively speaking.)
The location makes it hard enough just to change the damn ignition wires, but the coils themselves were a nightmare. The throttle cables, a heater hose, some wiring harnesses, and the over-all cramped access between the back of the engine and the fire wall made it a horrible task to change them. Plus, guess where all the oil, grime, and gunk accumulates on the engine when you drive around? You guessed it, in the back! The engineering meeting must have gone something like this:
Engineer #1: Hey, lets stick the ignition coils in a spot where we'll have to run absurdly long ignition wires all the way across the front of the engine, along the side, and finally down the back so that they're impossible to change without raising the vehicle!
Engineer #2: Yeah, that's a great idea! That'll also ensure that when the cheap valve cover gasket leaks it'll get oil all over the ignition module, coils, and wires! Woot!
One coil was obviously bad, it was cracked open and had a stalagtite of (previously molten) plastic hanging from one of the cracks. I figured I'd change both since they were only $20 each and if one went bad the other probably not long for this world. This is where the fun really began... the two coils (each runs two cylinders) turned out to be the only thing holding the ignition module to the engine, and trying to get the entire assembly back onto the mounting plate became an exercise in extreme frustration as there wasn't really enough room to hold one coil in place while keeping it aligned with the metal "washer" between the coil and module AND while keeping the module in the right spot on the engine mounting plate.
After much swearing and sweating (did I mention it was really hot today and that I was doing this in a parking garage?
) I finally get everything back together, start the engine up, and... it's still missing. Ugh, the module must be bad too... off to Autozone to spend $70 more on a new module. Oh joy, time to remove everything again and then go through the exciting process of grinding grease into the wounds caused by the previous work, yay! 
Mercifully it ran fine after I got everything back together.
Moral of the story? There's occasionally a good reason for the insane hourly rates that shops charge for repairs. Oh, that and apparently the most evil group of humans are automotive engineers.
Now you discover the meaning behind the title of the thread: I'd like to (figuratively speaking) stick the sick bastard that thought the back of the back side of the engine below the intake manifold was a good spot for the ignition coils in one of these (again, just figuratively speaking.)
The location makes it hard enough just to change the damn ignition wires, but the coils themselves were a nightmare. The throttle cables, a heater hose, some wiring harnesses, and the over-all cramped access between the back of the engine and the fire wall made it a horrible task to change them. Plus, guess where all the oil, grime, and gunk accumulates on the engine when you drive around? You guessed it, in the back! The engineering meeting must have gone something like this:
Engineer #1: Hey, lets stick the ignition coils in a spot where we'll have to run absurdly long ignition wires all the way across the front of the engine, along the side, and finally down the back so that they're impossible to change without raising the vehicle!
Engineer #2: Yeah, that's a great idea! That'll also ensure that when the cheap valve cover gasket leaks it'll get oil all over the ignition module, coils, and wires! Woot!
One coil was obviously bad, it was cracked open and had a stalagtite of (previously molten) plastic hanging from one of the cracks. I figured I'd change both since they were only $20 each and if one went bad the other probably not long for this world. This is where the fun really began... the two coils (each runs two cylinders) turned out to be the only thing holding the ignition module to the engine, and trying to get the entire assembly back onto the mounting plate became an exercise in extreme frustration as there wasn't really enough room to hold one coil in place while keeping it aligned with the metal "washer" between the coil and module AND while keeping the module in the right spot on the engine mounting plate.
After much swearing and sweating (did I mention it was really hot today and that I was doing this in a parking garage?
) I finally get everything back together, start the engine up, and... it's still missing. Ugh, the module must be bad too... off to Autozone to spend $70 more on a new module. Oh joy, time to remove everything again and then go through the exciting process of grinding grease into the wounds caused by the previous work, yay! Mercifully it ran fine after I got everything back together.Moral of the story? There's occasionally a good reason for the insane hourly rates that shops charge for repairs. Oh, that and apparently the most evil group of humans are automotive engineers.
It's integrated into a large bracket that holds both the power steering pump and the alternator, requiring both to be moved out of position to get the bracket out. While pulling the steering pump out we discover a small bolt on the back of the pump that appeared to be designed solely to make it as difficult to remove as possible. An intake manifold coolant hose was routed directly over this bolt and even with a ratcheting box-end wrench it was almost impossible to remove since the bolt was long enough to move into contact with the hose before it was completely out. After getting the tensioner bracket replaced we said screw it and just left that bolt off, we couldn't get it back in without removing the hose and it's function seemed dubious anyway: the pump sat in a little mounting bracket pretty securely and there were three large bolts in a triangular pattern on the front where it attached to the tensioner bracket.
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