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Yes, my darling daughter!

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  • #1

    Yes, my darling daughter!

    A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt. The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe". Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

    The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Benson & Hedges". Mom now knew to go straight to her husband`s cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack:"Extra Long. King Size". She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

    The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "British Airways". Mom took out her latest Harper`s Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for British Airways. The ad said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways." Mom fainted...
    Brian (the devil incarnate)
    Tags: None
  • #2
    AHAHAHA great

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    • #3
      nice
      P.S. You've been Spanked!

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      • #4
        Great one!
        Go Bunny GO!


        Titan:
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        • #5
          Finally one I hadn't heard ... thanks.
          <TABLE BGCOLOR=Red><TR><TD><Font-weight="+1"><font COLOR=Black>The world just changed, Sep. 11, 2001</font></Font-weight></TR></TD></TABLE>

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          • #6
            EXCELLENT!!

            Dr. Mordrid
            Dr. Mordrid
            ----------------------------
            An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

            I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

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            • #7
              bwahahaha... now to find a girl that actually wants option three
              Wikipedia and Google.... the needles to my tangent habit.
              ________________________________________________

              That special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, Or maybe below the cockles, Maybe in the sub-cockle area, Maybe in the liver, Maybe in the kidneys, Maybe even in the colon, We don't know.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Claymonkey
                bwahahaha... now to find a girl that actually wants option three
                Dude, we've been OVER this. I thought I warned you off the girls that want it three times a day?
                The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

                I'm the least you could do
                If only life were as easy as you
                I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
                If only life were as easy as you
                I would still get screwed

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                • #9
                  i missed that...fill me in please

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                  • #10
                    link

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                    • #11
                      do we REALLY need to go there people?


                      ... and I'm allowed to make a joke that is in exact opposite to my experiences of women
                      Wikipedia and Google.... the needles to my tangent habit.
                      ________________________________________________

                      That special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, Or maybe below the cockles, Maybe in the sub-cockle area, Maybe in the liver, Maybe in the kidneys, Maybe even in the colon, We don't know.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        I'm not so sure you are. Well...perhaps yes, but that would mean also I'm allowed. And you don't want to hear things that would come out of this...

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          hehehe fair enough. but I meant I'm allowed to go with the 'standard' joke since people here don't know the history outside one or two of you
                          Wikipedia and Google.... the needles to my tangent habit.
                          ________________________________________________

                          That special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, Or maybe below the cockles, Maybe in the sub-cockle area, Maybe in the liver, Maybe in the kidneys, Maybe even in the colon, We don't know.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Claymonkey
                            hehehe fair enough. but I meant I'm allowed to go with the 'standard' joke since people here don't know the history outside one or two of you
                            We didn't want to get into the sordid details. It's a pretty simple "Damian has dated some real psychos and needs to go out with a NORMAL girl for a change" sort of thing. Nothing unusual.
                            The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

                            I'm the least you could do
                            If only life were as easy as you
                            I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
                            If only life were as easy as you
                            I would still get screwed

                            Comment

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