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Broken marriage
Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to
tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair
and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
you don't touch me or anything. You're cheating or you don't love me
anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
*****************
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman
is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to
drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did
notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing
that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me
to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my
favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER,
because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you
when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on
it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just
borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was
$49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could
work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten
million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.
But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I
guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer
said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So
take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to
tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair
and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
you don't touch me or anything. You're cheating or you don't love me
anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
*****************
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman
is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to
drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did
notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing
that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me
to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my
favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER,
because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you
when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on
it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just
borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was
$49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could
work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten
million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.
But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I
guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer
said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So
take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
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