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  • Sex shop

    This one really made me laugh out loud.

    Young lad starts his first day at work in a sex shop.The boss tells him that business is not very good at the moment but could he hold the fort while he nips out to the Bank.The young lad says "No problem", and the shop owner leaves.

    A young lady comes into the shop and asks if they sold vibrators,the lad said they did,but the lady said"It must be white at the bottom and black at the top". The lad looked under the counter and brought one out, he said "These are rare and quite expensive".The lady said "I have always wanted one of those,how much?" The lad thought a moment and said "£25" The lady said "I will have it" The lad wrapped up the vibrator,took the money and the lady left the premises.

    Not long after another lady entered and asked the lad if he sold vibrators to which the lad replied that he did.The lady said "It must be black at the bottom and white at the top." The lad looked under the counter and brought one out,he said " these are very rare and very expensive." The lady handled it lovingly and said "This is just what I have been looking for,how much?"
    The lad thought for a moment and said"£35" The lady paid him the money and left .

    A few minutes later another lady came in and again the question was`asked,"Do you sell vibrators"
    The lad said he did and the lady said "I am looking for a special one,it must be tartan at the bottom with a white top." The lad looked under the counter but could not find one,he thought a moment and then excused himself and went into the back room,he returned shortly and showed the lady what he brought out."Good God" She exclaimed"I have been looking for one of those for years, how much?"The lad didn't hesitate,he said "This is the only one I know of the cost is £55." The lady said "I'll take it" paid the money and left.

    The owner of the shop then returned and asked the lad if he had sold anything,the lad told him he had sold a vibrator,the one with a white bottom and black top."How much did you charge?" the owner asked "£25" said the lad,"Very good", the shop owner said.
    "And I sold the vibrator with the black bottom and white top for £35" said the lad."Excellent" the owner said,"Anything else" he enquired.
    "Well" said the lad "You will never guess how much I got for your Thermos Flask" !!!!!!!!
    Brian (the devil incarnate)

  • #2
    Ugh... the thermos flasks I know, even the smalles ones, have a diameter of ~10 cm... ordinary ones are more like >15 cm diameter (not girth). Well, if the lady likes the feeling of giving birth... She'll wonder where to put the batteries though, there is a difference between a vibrator and a dildo, Brian

    (Yeah, it's a joke. But I didn't find it very funny )
    There's an Opera in my macbook.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by az
      there is a difference between a vibrator and a dildo, Brian
      Now that was funny!
      P.S. You've been Spanked!

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      • #4
        Why, because I know?
        There's an Opera in my macbook.

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        • #5
          No, because he didn't.

          Think about explaining the difference between a dildo and a vibrator to your grandfather... Well, it probably wouldn't be funny if you had to do it, but watching someone else, or hearing them explain the situation afterward, that would be funny.
          P.S. You've been Spanked!

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          • #6
            Maybe I'm not in a funny mood today.. I actually don't really see the problem - if the topic came up, I'd just explain the technical differences, and if it didn't come up, all the better. I must admit, though, that when my grandparents were alive, I didn't know the difference between a vibrator and a dildo either
            There's an Opera in my macbook.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by az
              Ugh... the thermos flasks I know, even the smalles ones, have a diameter of ~10 cm... ordinary ones are more like >15 cm diameter (not girth). Well, if the lady likes the feeling of giving birth... She'll wonder where to put the batteries though, there is a difference between a vibrator and a dildo, Brian

              (Yeah, it's a joke. But I didn't find it very funny )
              Gawd Almighty!! Do you always analyse jokes literally. I told this one to my wife and she howled with laughter. Maybe something to do with Germanic, as opposed to do with Anglo-Saxon, sense of humour???????????
              Brian (the devil incarnate)

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              • #8
                Whether or not Gawd is almighty, I don't think he/she/it had much to do with it - at least I hope so: it was just my mood. I also don't think this has anything to do with our cultural differences, Kv.. I mean Brian - in fact, I think english humour has enriched my culture a lot

                If your wife laughed about it: Great, that's what jokes are about. I didn't, though, and I still can't see why it's funny, realism aside. You're right, of course, that it was quite rude of me to post that here; I should just have not laughed and moved on. So apologies for ruining your joke thread. (I must admit I find many of the jokes posted on MURC not funny, and it's really not because I'm a humourless person. I just don't think the inclusion of bodily functions or sexuality automatically makes an otherwise mundane story comic. A pretty good portion of jokes in here do make me laugh, though, so not all is lost in germanland.)

                Have a happy day (and I mean this in all honesty)!

                There's an Opera in my macbook.

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                • #9
                  It's definitely a cultural thing. Germans don't even grin when told many jokes that we find hilarious, and yet... I've seen some of what passes for humor over there... eek!
                  The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

                  I'm the least you could do
                  If only life were as easy as you
                  I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
                  If only life were as easy as you
                  I would still get screwed

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                  • #10
                    Most of the jokes and comedians here aren't funny at all to me either.
                    There's an Opera in my macbook.

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                    • #11
                      I vote we make this a sticky thread
                      Last edited by Fat Tone; 17 January 2006, 07:19. Reason: wasn't funny
                      FT.

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                      • #12
                        I vote that Brian deletes the thread and posts a new joke.
                        P.S. You've been Spanked!

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Gurm
                          It's definitely a cultural thing. Germans don't even grin when told many jokes that we find hilarious, and yet... I've seen some of what passes for humor over there... eek!
                          yawn
                          "Women don't want to hear a man's opinion, they just want to hear their opinion in a deeper voice."

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Rakido
                            Originally posted by Gurm
                            It's definitely a cultural thing. Germans don't even grin when told many jokes that we find hilarious, and yet... I've seen some of what passes for humor over there... eek!
                            yawn
                            Now see, that was funny!
                            Gigabyte P35-DS3L with a Q6600, 2GB Kingston HyperX (after *3* bad pairs of Crucial Ballistix 1066), Galaxy 8800GT 512MB, SB X-Fi, some drives, and a Dell 2005fpw. Running WinXP.

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                            • #15
                              I thought it was funny, made me laugh.


                              How about a quarter horse?

                              "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

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