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@schmosef & llc - well, that at least answers my question. I'll try not to solve her problems in the future. It just sucks because like you guys, I'm a natural problem solver.
For the record, I normally date girls between the ages of 21 and 27 (I'm 26 myself), and while the girl in question IS at the younger end of that scale, she doesn't always act it. Obviously, the only reason I'm even attempting to deal with it is because she does have some outstanding qualities.
I've found in practise that even if you tell a girl that you find it painful to listen to her bitch about her problems but not want to let you help her solve them they'll just assume that's your problem and keep on bitching.
As men we have to suck it up. I find that it helps to at least be aware of the psychology at play in that situation.
I've found in practise that even if you tell a girl that you find it painful to listen to her bitch about her problems but not want to let you help her solve them they'll just assume that's your problem and keep on bitching.
You don't tell her that it's painful to listen to her, that's just suicide!
Originally posted by schmosef
As men we have to suck it up.
That's sort of what I meant when I said 'Sounds like she used you as her temporary punching bag.'
I've found in practise that even if you tell a girl that you find it painful to listen to her bitch about her problems but not want to let you help her solve them they'll just assume that's your problem and keep on bitching.
As men we have to suck it up. I find that it helps to at least be aware of the psychology at play in that situation.
It definitely is. That's all I was really looking for.
Obviously, the only reason I'm even attempting to deal with it is because she does have some outstanding qualities.
So, what you're saying is, too bad she has to ruin it by talking? :P
Gigabyte P35-DS3L with a Q6600, 2GB Kingston HyperX (after *3* bad pairs of Crucial Ballistix 1066), Galaxy 8800GT 512MB, SB X-Fi, some drives, and a Dell 2005fpw. Running WinXP.
I found the secret for giving advice in that situation, is to just detail an almost 'identical' situation where you got f**ked over for the same thing, and just say what you did to sort it.
even if you fudge the story a little so you can get the advice over.
Then you not telling them what to do, your telling sharing with them, what you did.
Juu nin to iro
English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark alleys, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
I found the secret for giving advice in that situation, is to just detail an almost 'identical' situation where you got f**ked over for the same thing, and just say what you did to sort it.
even if you fudge the story a little so you can get the advice over.
Then you not telling them what to do, your telling sharing with them, what you did.
Same practice here. Although I try to limit the girls I talk to, to only a few that I know I can put up with.
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