Something new for liberals to smirk about..

[KvHagedorn]

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/02/12/cheney.ap/index.html

":smirk: :chortle: :smirk:.. it said he was aiming at Quale.. I mean quail. :smirk:"

[cjolley]

I think we all already knew he couldn't shoot straight.

[Dr Mordrid]

Obviously not a quail hunter.

Those damned things hold until you're standing right in the middle of the whole flock. YOU try having 200 of those noisy bastards flush all around you sometime and see how easy it is to hit something/one unintended.

Not to mention that a 28 guage quail gun has no choke and shoots several hundred very small pellets with at least some "flyers" 20-40 degrees on either side of the signting line. At 30 yards this shot pattern could have been huge and this guy was likely right at the edge of it.

Seen similar things happen many times, but most times the pellets bounce off ones hunting jacket or cap. Not much energy left in those tiny things at 30+ yards.

Dr. Mordrid

[cjolley]

The fact that you would take time to spin even something as silly as this just amazes me.

[Dr Mordrid]

No need to spin something I've seen happen several times. Jezzz.....

Dr. Mordrid

[RC Agent]

I call BS. Sorry Doc, but I'm going to have to go with cjolley on this one. You look like you're putting a spin on it.

[KRSESQ]

It was just a silly hunting accident. Could have been MUCH worse.

Kevin

[schmosef]

To quote Scott Adams:

"I think it's the worst kind of pandering to shoot a lawyer just because your popularity is low. But I'll bet it works."

[Helevitia]

I can vouch for Doc. I've been quail hunting many times. The quail literally sit in the bush until you are practically standing on top of them. Not all of them time but more often than not. Sometimes they scare the shit out of you because you aren't expecting it.

I've actually almost been shot for the exact reasons that Doc talks about. One of the "rules" of hunting is that everyone walks in a line pattern so that no one is any farther ahead of anyone else. this helps flush out the quail and it keeps you fron shooting your buddy if a quail happens to pop out in front of you or off to the front-side. Well, for some reason, we were all walking in a straight line and this 1 lone quail practically hit me in the face on the way out of the bush. I stumbled backwards because I wasn't expexting it. My buddy runs over and says, "let's go to the top of this ridge". We run up but the other two guys with us stop to survery the scene. So now we are 30 yards in front of them and about 30 quail fly out of the bush in between them and us. Well, on eof the guys gets excited and fires to shots in our direction. I kind of stood their in a stunned position wondering why I didn't get hit. We were lucky that time. BTW, they guy that shot as us was a 30 year seasoned hunter but his adrenalin won over his common sense.

[Umfriend]

[...]Sometimes they scare the shit out of you because you aren't expecting it[...].

Somehow, given the context, you know, you walking around with a big gun and all, this is a very funny thing to say.

So essentially, quail hunting is all about self-defence, no?

[cjolley]

To whom it may consern:
Doc and I do not disagree about any of this except that I didn't think a lengthy explanation was nessesary.
Hell, my Dad was shot in a hunting accident.

[cjolley]

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/14/cheney.jokes.ap/index.html

TV joke writers take shots at Cheney

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Television talk shows took aim Monday at Vice President Dick Cheney's accidental weekend shooting in Texas of a hunting companion. Here are a few of the jokes.

"Late Show with David Letterman," CBS

• "Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney."
• "But here is the sad part -- before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor."
• "We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."
• "The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."

"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," NBC

• "Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear."
• "That's the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."
• "I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?' "
• "Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!"

"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Comedy Central

• The show's segment titles included "Cheney's Got a Gun," "No. 2 With a Bullet" and "Dead-Eye Dick."
• "Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."
• "Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... Moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted -- it's just not worth it."

"Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," CBS

• "He is a lawyer and he got shot in the face. But he's a lawyer, he can use his other face. He'll be all right."
• "You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.' "
• "The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep."
• "Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past."

[cjolley]

With no word from Cheney, "The Daily Show" stands in

With no word from Cheney, "The Daily Show" stands in

Dick Cheney still hasn't appeared in public to discuss his accidental shooting of a 78-year-old man, but there are plenty of people willing to speak on the veep's behalf -- among them, Comedy Central's Rob Corddry. Playing the role of a "vice president firearms mishap analyst," Corddry explained it all Monday night for "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart:

Stewart: Rob, obviously a very unfortunate situation. How is the vice president handling it?

Corddry: Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington's face.

Stewart: But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a bird, why would he still have shot him?

Corddry: Jon, in a post-9/11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

Stewart: That's horrible.

Corddry: Look, the mere fact that we're even talking about how the vice president drives up with his rich friends in cars to shoot farm-raised wingless quail-tards is letting the quail know "how" we're hunting them. I'm sure right now those birds are laughing at us in that little "covey" of theirs.

Stewart: I'm not sure birds can laugh, Rob.

Corddry: Well, whatever it is they do -- coo -- they're cooing at us right now, Jon, because here we are talking openly about our plans to hunt them. Jig is up. Quails one, America zero.

[KRSESQ]

Oh, oh. Cheney's in trouble now! He didn't have the proper hunting paperwork in hand when he went into the field. This will bring down the administration for sure!

Kevin

[cjolley]

Hunter shot by Cheney has 'minor heart attack'

Gosh I hope this gets to stay a light hearted thread.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/02/14/cheney/index.html

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas (CNN) -- The man shot and wounded by Vice President Dick Cheney has suffered a "minor heart attack" after a piece of birdshot migrated and became lodged in his heart, a hospital spokesman said Tuesday.

The man, campaign contributor Harry Whittington, 78, is in stable condition and has been moved back into intensive care and will remain hospitalized for up to seven days.

"Some of the bird shot appears to have moved and lodged into part of his heart ... in what we would say is a minor heart attack," said Peter Banko, administrator at Christus Spohn Hospital Corpus Christi-Memorial.


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